Visit the SDMB Zoo! (animals wanted)

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I’m pleased to announce the new SDMB Zoo! Come see the animals, from the Giraffe to the…um…well…OK right now we just have a Giraffe. But I’m confident we’ll get more animals soon, especially with the imminent construction of the Petting Zoo. :wink:

If you aren’t an animal yourself, feel free to stroll among the cages, eat cotton candy, poke at the animals with sticks, eat more cotton candy, chuck rocks at the animals, etc. Whatever you want. (We’re very customer-oriented here at the SDMB Zoo.)

::makes a giraffe noise::

::munches an acacia leaf::

::looks around for some cotton candy::

2

flies in and perches on a branch, preening her feathers

3

Well, I’m not an animal, though I have been known to act like one. But I am a Ranger! I can make sure all the animals are happy and taken care of.

4

Arden Ranger, you’re hired. You are now the official SDMB Zoo Ranger. Your job duties involve feeding, grooming, and…um…sanitation. (I hope you have a big shovel.)

5

I was watching a nature show about me the other day and here is a direct quote. “Zebra’s have exceptionally long penis’.”
It is true you know.

6

Je suis un animal, en français. Ce mot «bibliophage» veut dire

I am a bookworm, in other words. (But I am not the Bookworm, who would also qualify.)

7

What SDMB Zoo would be complete without Wolverine? Look at how fearsome I am as I wander back and forth in my pen. I’m going put the fear of God in you by my yawning and general apathy. GRRRR! Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll make myself visible instead of lurking in the corner. But only if you’re lucky.

8

I would like to submit my application to run the soda fountain. People get thirsty from walking around all day you know. Here, I’ll prepare my special float and you’ll see how good I’ll be at running this place.

::Soda puts her apron on::

“Yes, ma’am, what can I get for you today?”

9

Medea’s Child and Welfy and TroubleAgain have decided that I am a black Scottie dog (with a big blue bow) so at the very least I am an animal.

But since a dog is not a zooworthy animal, I will just be Arden Ranger’s faithful canine companion.

Arff Arff!

Scotti

10

No animal, I… tho I’ve had moments…

However, I love zoos. What a wonderful way to pass a lovely afternoon. I wonder if theRanger will yell at me if I let that adorable Giraffe have some of this yummy cotton candy??

11

In the Amazon Delta Park:
Grunt, grunt. Shuffle shuffle. Munch, munch.
Mom, look at the giant gerbil!
Actually, on the Nature channel or something last week I saw a program where they had capybaras fighting and humping, It was pretty disturbing.

12

I will go park myself in the Petting Zoo, where the goose promises not to bite any children, and the ducks promise not to copulate in an unseemly or riotous manner, but only to swim around after floating bread, and to quack gently and picturesquely.
[sub]quack

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I nominate FairyChatMom as the Petting Zoo docent.

13

I’m guessing that giving cotton candy probably leads to unpleasant results, with which the Ranger will have to deal.

On the other hand, that’s one of the perks of being a zoo animal. Personal maid service.

::eats the cotton candy::

14

I guess I qualify as the dog who is always chasing his tail around, never getting anywhere.

Keith

15

I’ll be over in the fish pond, swimming lazily about, giving you a place to rest your eyes and collect your thoughts. And don’t forget about the little fish food dispensers placed at even intervals along the water’s edge. Fish get hungry too!

16

Representative of the Strigidae family reporting in!

::sits on branch::
::turns head around to middle of back, just to startle small children::
::horks up an occasional pellet::

::opens eyes really wide and looks just soooooo durned cute::

17

Oh! I can be the Fish Aquarium guy. The dude who feeds the sharks at 1pm or something. :slight_smile:

18

Hey, are you alive?

poking sleeping monkey with stick
poke

You are awake! Hey, that’s my stick…what are you-OW!!

monkey proceeds to pummel me with said stick

Ranger!

19

::Settling in to a perch::

::repeatedly licking salt off claw::

::waiting patiently for anyone to mutter obscenties for me to repeat ad infinitum, voice getting louder and louder with each mutterance::

20

Well, I am often depicted as having the lower half of a goat…

Of course, I won’t brag about the other endowments of my lower half! :wink: