So New Jersey now requires a hand-free device if you want to use a cell phone while driving. Ok, fine, I already had one anyway. It’s a very nice unit – the speakerphone and mic setup are very nonobtrusive, and the thing sounds great from both ends of the conversation. Hooked to it is my Motorola flip-style phone. When you’re done with your call, you flip the phone closed and it hangs up. Usually.
I’m on my way to work this morning, and I hit a construction zone. It looks like my hour commute is now going to be an hour and fifteen minutes. Ok, no big deal, I turn the radio down and call boss to let him know. He’s not at his desk, so I leave him a quick voice mail letting him know I’ll be a bit late. I close the phone and crank the radio back up.
Now let me explain my vocal talents: They don’t exist. Yeah, there are maybe three or four songs out there that I can fake it enough to sound semi-decent, but as a rule my singing is one long stream of very bad falsetto. But hey, I’m all alone in my car, and I like to sing along. Loudly.
So there I am, now past the construction and tooling along the highway, singing along at the top of my lungs.
*"…Yeah somebody told me, that you had a boyfriend, that looked like a girlfriend, that I had in February of last year…"
“…YEAH! Cold hard bitch, just a kiss on the lips, and I was on my knees, I’m waiting, give me…”
"…I believe in a thing called loooooooooove!..*
“You have used 9 minutes and 45 seconds of voice mail. You have 15 seconds remaining.”
“… OOOOoooooOOOOOOOOOooOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, GUITAR!..” Huh? What? What the hell was that voice? Was that coming from the speakerphone??
“You have used 10 minutes of voice mail. Now disconnecting. Thank you.” click
Yes, it seems that I had always figured that when I’m using the hands-free device, closing the phone would hang it up. But no, it was the other person hanging up that actually did it. So when I’m leaving a message and I close the phone, the line stays open.
I walk into my office a bit later, and there’s my entire department gathered around my manager’s desk. He’s got the speakerphone cranked, and it’s just Dance Party Fricking U.S.A. there. :o Someone spots me walking in, and the applause starts. Lighters are flicked. I casually remind them that office shooting sprees have probably been prompted by less, but all in all, I take it in stride.
Better believe I made sure my boss deleted that voice mail, though.
Somebody please tell me they’ve been burned by an un-hung-up phone before. I’d hate to think I was the only one.