I hereby put all my money (12 cents US) and all my power (none) behind the new candictator, Libfire! Or should that be Coldlib?
Onward to victory! Damn the torpedoes, etc.
Careful with this one guys, this has scandal written all over it. 
Sorry but the Polycarp Esprix ticket still gets my vote.
Lib what is your policy on cats?
So we only have to pay federal income tax for 4 months out of the year?
'kay. 
I pledge alligence
To Queen Frag
And her United States of Hysteria
Let me just say this about that. I believe that our children deserve an education. I believe that America is a shiny apple in a tree. And I will fight for a better America, a greater America, an America that we can all be proud of once again.
“Abortions for everyone!”
“BOOOO!”
“All right, abortions for no one!”
“BOOOO!”
“All right, abortions for some, miniature American flags for the rest!”
“YAAAAAY!”
And I for one welcome our new Dutch overlord…
I can’t believe any of you would even consider voting for a man like Liberal. The man is an admitted heterosexual who cohabits with a woman whom he does not even bother to publicly aver is not his wife. He has undoubtedly osculated his own mother, and he has been seen on many occasions publicly masticating, even in the presence of young children. I have been told he has attended public performances in which not only grown women but even young girls engage in thespian acts. He openly boasts of being a theist, frequently posting at length about something called “modal ontological logic”, which he claims somehow proves something about whether or not there really is a God. He has frequently declared his oppugnation for the ideas and deeds of Karl Marx, V.I. Lenin, and even Joseph Stalin.
[GW Bush voice, complete with smirk]
My opponents are waging a smear campaign, see. They’re smearing things. They’re smearing me.
[…pausing to collect thoughts…]
What they do is smear. See. They just smear things and then I just happen to be there. See. If it was you, then you would be there, see. And they would be smearing you. Let me put it simply — by smearing me, they just smear themselves. See? That’s what smear is.
[…waxing on and waxing off…]
It just smears things all over the place.
[…light bulb going off in head…]
They do the same thing terrorists do, see. Terrorists smear people too. With bombs. Or with bomb explosions. You know, fire. Well, I’m wagin’ a war on terror, and I’m usin’ the full force of the United States armed forces. So, they’re not gonna smear me, see. Because I love my country.
[…mustering all possible mental power…]
By smearing me, they smear America. See? I love America, and they hate me. Therefore, see, they hate America. That’s called logic.
[…wide, self satisfied grin…]
Next question…
[/GW Bush voice, complete with smirk]
Well it has at least as much a chance of passing as the FMA does (now especially since the FMA failed to pass cloture), and it’s at least twice as sensible (since the FMA wasn’t, though, Iunno how praising that is)! And you’ll be known for all time for being behind the effort to get a man in office whose first name starts Y but looks J. (Coldy, lotta love for ya, man, but I think the Murrikin public’s gonna be a touch confused by that one.)
Offended? I say you should be honored!
That’s true, Pun!
Wait, doesn’t Liberal also have a brother who’s known to be a practicing Homo Sapiens?
And isn’t it true that when he was in college, he actually … matriculated?!?!?!
:eek: The Utter Horror!!!
Amendment? A dictator needs no amendment!
All right, as of 9 AM Eastern tomorrow morning, the city of Nieuw Amsterdam shall once again reclaim its old name. Oh, and Dutch will be taught in all American schools.
Thought I was going to wait for the elections? I don’t NEED elections!
OK, so who are my political enemies, and do they prefer regular bullets, or the low-copper kind? I’m no brute, you know. I respect people’s allergies.
Some of them, I fear, might need silver bullets. You’ll need to talk to Tris about that one…
Typical rhetoric of the Pro Minnesotan Agenda.
Now, I’m sure y’all are all going to start calling me a bigot, but I don’t care because I’m not. I don’t have anything against Minnesotans personally, I just don’t condone the lifestyle they’ve chosen for themselves. And until you can give me verifiable proof that there actually are people who are “born in Minnesota,” I’m going to remain on the fence about this whole Minnesota issue. Voting for Minnesota would mean that most of society is saying that Minnesota is “okay,” when clearly, the vast majority of the population of the United States does not believe that living in Minnesota is an acceptable lifestyle.
What we’re seeing here is an attack on the basic institution of temperate weather and varied cuisine. Say we allow people to go on living in Minnesota. What next? Wisconsin? Alaska?
I presume you aren’t going to be on the Libertarian ticket. Are you going to be a write-in? Will we need to know your real name?
If you are elected, I’d just like you to know that my cousin’s business is suffering from some undue taxation and foreign competition. Perhaps you’ll remember my support and take a look at that. Perhaps you’ll allow me to head up that committee.
I’m running on the American ticket. Yeah, that’s the ticket. My name is America. A vote for me is a vote for America. Feed the children. Heal the sick. Health care for everybody! At no cost to anybody! Education. Hope. Freedom. The dawning of a new age. Promises kept this time, I promise. What was the question again, please?
Round of applause
I misunderestimated your imitation skills