i can haz pretsells agin?
kthxbye,
W
Dear Barack,
They tell me it’s traditional for the president to write a note to the next president. Bill Clinton wrote me one and it was real nice. ( I wish I could remember what it said. That was a long time ago! LOL)
So now it’s my turn, so here goes.
Um… let’s see… I never know what to say when I’m writing to people. I was bad at signing yearbooks back in college too. Course, I was drunk or stoned most of the time back then!
How are you? I am fine.
Well, they’re saying I have to go now, so I’ll cut it off. Maybe you should start thinking now about what you’re going to say to the next president so you’ll be ready. I think it will be my brother Jeb.
Bye for now,
George
We really DID shoot down an alien ship in Roswell in '47. The alien who survived, Znorrf, is the Chief Executive Officer at Area 51. Don’t play poker with him; he cheats like a sonofabitch.
It probably said:
Have a good summer! See you next year!
Or:
This letter is confidential due to executive privilege
Or:
What is the third word ending in -gry?
pleez take gud care of algernon hes really a gud mouse
For the win!!!
Dear Barack,
The cabal meets on the first and third Friday of each month, promptly at 8:00 a.m. Go to the Starbucks at 14th and K streets, go into the Men’s room alone, the secret door is in the handicapped stall.
Dad and I will see you then.
Dear Barack,
Don’t touch my fucking drumset.
Laters,
GWB
Obama,
I have some messages I promised to pass along to you. Cheney says that if you ever want to go out hunting, give him a call.
Jeb says don’t get too comfortable and not to let the new puppy pee on the rug.
I swiped a pack of Laura’s cigarettes and hid them in the secret drawer of the desk as a housewarming gift, along with Cecil Adams’ number in case you get in over your head. (I never used it because Dick wouldn’t let me but Dad said this Cecil’s a pretty smart fella.)
I just wanted to say good luck. I voted for you since I can’t stand that McCain guy. Is it true you can walk on water? Would you mind showing me sometime when I come back for a visit?
Your friend,
George
I have seen the story of the three envelopes told as to Stalin and Khrushchev. I suspect it goes way back.
Lord –
Protect my family and me. Forgive me my sins, and help me guard against pride and despair. Give me the wisdom to do what is right and just. And make me an instrument of your will.
PS, please give Al Franken ass cancer.
Dear Barack:
Elcome to the Hite House. Laura and I ould like to ish you the greatest success and a onderful four years as Leader of the Free Orld. As you kno, my first year was fraught with difficulties. If only I had more closely read the memo arning of an immiment attack on the Tin Toers of the Orld Trade Center in Ne York City, but ith these keyboards it as a little hard to read.
Best ishes!
George VV Bush
[del]Kongrat[/del]
[del]Cungratyul[/del]
[del]congratchu[/del]
[del]congratchyalashuns[/del]
[del]cungratchulayshuns[/del]
KOODOS!
Barack,
You’re sooo lucky! I had to be the President when everything was already set to go downhill, thanks to old Bill and Hillary and them! But you get to be the one that is in charge when all the super-smart totally-going-to-work fixes that us Republicans put in place start to make things get wonderful again! People are going to LOVE you! LUCKY!
-George
PS Bin Laden is my Dad’s Godson, so please don’t torture him too much if you catch him.
Just so you know, you can get the greatest shit sent right from Jamaica in the diplomatic pouch, and it don’t even cost nothin! The friggin’ Air Force delivers it right to Andrews on the taxpayers’ tab!
I left some rolling papers in the bottom left drawer. Just stay downwind of the residential side, knowhamean?
Dear President Obama
Please pardon me for the mess I made of everything.
I mean it!! Please pardon me!
I’m begging you!
Now!
Your friend
George
Dear Rocky, (You don’t mind if I call you Rocky, do you?)
SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE!!!
Ha ha. Just kidding. I love that movie!
Best of luck.
–W.
P.S. And in case you didn’t know already… Rosebud is a sled, and Keyser Soze is… nah, you should just see it yourself.
W.
Dear B.,
The Governor-General of Canada is a babe. Go there first.
W.
P. S. Don’t tell Laura I said this.
For hot girl-on-girl action, visit this website: www. hotgirlongirl. com