I have to agree with the OP. This has happened to me on a few occasions, and in general it didn’t irritate me at first.
However, once, we were in a bit of a hurry at a restaurant. We came in on time, 40 minutes later, we hadn’t received our food. When we finally got it, we asked immediately for to go boxes, checks and to go cups as we were out of time.
The server brought our boxes…then the cups…then the checks, after we asked a second time. We put credit cards in two of them, and gave him cash for the third. Without picking it up he asked if we wanted change. I said yes. He opened the one with the cash and asked again if we needed change, specifically on that one. It had a $10 bill in it, and the tab was $9 and change. Exasperated, and about 2 minutes away from being late for work, I told him to keep the change in that folder.
As he brought our other checks back to the table, he said “Next time, try not to be in so much of a hurry.” :eek: If I’d had time, I would have torn him a new one. Since I didn’t, I simply left him the tip I felt he deserved. The change from the first folder.
It also irritates me when servers bring change and don’t bother to include the jingly kind. That tells me that they have already decided what the amount of their tip should be.
I have been a server as well, and I have never asked a customer if they needed their change, and I would never presume to only bring back part of their change. If you don’t like your tips, learn to be a better server or find a new job.
I think a fair amount of the arguing (at least on my side) is not about it being rude, but it being some cynical attempt by the waitstaff to pressure their customers into giving a larger than desired tip. I don’t think that’s the case, not in the slightest.
I’ve defended etiquette before on these boards, and I should at least allow that the question as asked is considered rude by many, and thus should be avoided. Does a faux pas of this type deserve the type of vitriol it’s gotten, and does the server who makes this mistake deserve to get stiffed on their tip? I think some posters are making a mountain out of a molehill.
In my experience, when servers don’t include the change in the change (you know, the coins in the money being returned to me), they’ve usually rounded the amount of the meal down. For example, if I was due to get $4.93 in change, and they bring me five dollars, they’re showing me a kindness … one I’m apt to reward in the tip.
By the same token, though, waitpersons who bring change in such a way as to make it difficult for me to tip irritate me. If my change is five dollars, don’t bring me a five. I’m not leaving you a five-dollar tip on a $15 meal unless your service was just exceptional. If I’m depending on the change to use as a tip, you’ve got a problem.
Cheesesteak, I don’t think anyone has said the server should be stiffed on a tip based solely on this question (although I admit I could’ve missed that somewhere). However, I do think many patrons view this question as rude, and I believe it could affect the amount of a tip.
I waitressed for quite some time before finishing up school and so on. The answer “no thanks, keep the change” is one response. Silence means “yes, please I’d like my change”. Or possibly “I’m busy talking to my dinner mates” I never took it to mean that I then had to “force” the customer’s hand.
And as to “wasted trips” if a server is so unorganized that he/she can’t figure out how to work change getting into his/her other duties, he/she needs to seek another line of work.
It’s really quite simple, you go back to the cash register,or cashier and cash out that customer, you place their change in the little black folder thingie made just for that purpose, you grab drinks for your next table or other items as you go back.
First rule of waitressing, never go anywhere with your hands empty. So, you deliver your drinks to another table, stop and welcome a third table telling them you’ll be right back, and then you return the change to the customers who wouldn’t answer, or answered in the positive.
You don’t know that they might have had some other way of paying a tip in mind. Lots of times I’ve planned on giving a nice even 5, 10 or 20 dollar bill, becuase the math is easier for me to figure out, and not only that, the waitress USuALLY ends up getting toward 25% that way.
I’ve done it both ways, both with a cash register, AND with having to keep my own bank. And the waitresses who have to keep a bank don’t wait until a customer is ready to cash out to suddenly realize that they have to break a big bill. Not if they have any sense or professionalism that is. First of all, they make sure they’ve got a good bank to start off with. Secondly, they use breaks and lulls to get rid of big bills, in BETWEEN having to cash out customers, so that they don’t get caught out.
Oh PLEASE!!! The time saved? Again, as I said above, a GOOD server doesn’t let this type of “setback” break her stride. She goes to get change (if she’s not made sure her bank is adequate, or she has to break a bill), and on the way she takes care of other customers.
I don’t know what part of the country you’re from, but in my neck of the woods, and in places I’ve visited, most restaurants don’t use the “waitress has to provide the bank” thing. I see that quite frequently for cocktail waitresses, but not so much restaurants.
It would be nice if a tip WERE required. It’s not. It is preferred, desired, and certainly frowned on if one is not with it enough to give a tip, but it is NOT required. Except in the case of the 8 or more (or whatever number each restaurant states) automatically adding a gratuity, then the restaurant never even alludes to the tipping system at all.
Now, that’s not to say I don’t believe it SHOULDN’T be required, I’m saying what is currently in practice. And as to the restaurant not paying the servers a decent wage, as another poster stated, that’s NOT the customer’s fault, it’s the restuarant industry’s.
You’d be surprised how many newbies will do this. I remember being taught right off, make sure you give them change that will allow them to tip easily and quickly.
You don’t bring them a five, you give five ones. You don’t give a ten, you give 5 ones and a five. Stuff like that. If a customer is in a hurry, they’re going to leave the 1 buck and change in the bottom of their purse, NOT the fiver and not the 3 bucks you probably WOULD have gotten had they had the right change.
I think I got biased against this question due to the circumstances in which I was first asked: paying for a $5 drink with a $20 – not in the black plastic thingie, but handed directly to her.
Though she said “Do you need change?” I heard it as
As a former server, I can agree with all here who’ve stated that it’s much better practice to say, “I’ll be back with your change.” Ditto for bringing said change back in smaller bills.
However, I gotta say that I’ve always felt like bringing change in smaller bills–just like asking whether a customer needs change–is also rather assumptive (is that a word?). I mean, heck, if I’m eating out and don’t plan to leave a dime for the server (which, for the record, would never happen unless he or she spit on me, threw an ashtray, and insulted my hair) then I’d much rather get back a $20 bill than a ten, a five, four ones, and a dollar’s worth of coins which will just wind up lost at the bottom of my purse. So to me it seems like bringing the smaller bills is also like saying, “Here, I brought you several ones for you to leave me as a tip.” (Although, as I said, I agree that it’s a good practice on the part of the server.)
Having been a cook in restaurants both here in Cal as well as back east in Ct years ago, there is a difference. The main difference being here in Cal servers make minimum wage while back there they make a percentage of minimum wage. Never here have I seen a waitress chase a 6 or 8 top out the door when they didnt tip, but I saw it a few times back there. One thing that is the same though is that, contrary to popular opinion, the wait staff end up being the most highly paid with kitchen staff usually far behind, even in the places that tried to mandate tip sharing.
I join the line of those who dont see asking if you need change as rude; its a time saving question mainly for the purpose of finding out if the server needs to return to your table. Its also an attempt to be polite, so the customer isnt put in the awkward situation of saying ‘Only bring me back X amount in change and keep the rest’, which I have done on more than a few occasions.
If you arent ready to leave, dont pay the damn bill yet. Nothing is more rude than a table whos bill is paid who keeps sitting there. Its not just rude to staff, its damn rude to anyone waiting for a table. Once your money is in the folder, its assumed youre getting your ass up and leaving, and its merely a matter of courtesy to assume youre not going to be the kind of ass who is going to keep sitting there, and so ask if you require change (not in the context of ‘are you tipping me’, but more in the context of ‘are you going to park your ass here for awhile and take up this table we need or are you going to be cool and get the fuck out?’).
Time spent lecturing a server is time they could have spent seating another party and seeing to their needs instead of listening to a load of pompous bullsit. Eat your food, tarry over your coffee, but dont put money in that folder until youre ready to go. Asking if you want change is to subtley ask if youre on your way out, can they plan on your table being free in a few minutes; not a subtle dig for a tip.
This is a completely novel interpretation to me, I must admit. Still, I think you have raised a separate issue when you talk about campers.
Even with your explanation, I don’t see how the totally safe declarative is a worse option than “Do you need change?”. IMHO, both are equally effective, even for the purpose of hinting to potential campers. However, I notice you are in California, so I’m thinking this might be a “do as the Romans do” situation.
What the hell difference does it make when I pay my bill? Sure, I can see that if it is busy, and you neeed the table- the total time I spend at that table could be an issue- but not when i pay my bill.
Let me demonstrate for you. An “x” indicates ten minutes of time. “p” indicates bill paid. So which takes more table time? :dubious:
I don’t get this. Do you mean that as soon as I am no longer “possibly spending more money” I have some sort of duty to depart faster than someone who isn’t going to spend any more money … but just hasn’t made that clear?
Maybe you might assume that when someone pays their bill, that is some sort of “secret sign” that they are about to leave. Nope- it’s a “secret sign” that * I am not going to * orderanything else- and that I want my bill . I paid for my food- I have just as much right to take an hour to eat it than someone who hasn’t paid for it yet. Assuming we both take the same time to eat our food- what difference does it make when we pay for it?
You know, if I ever visit the States, I think I’ll be carrying sandwiches everywhere I go, just because, as far as I can see, tipping practices as a thread topic seem to generate as much heat as religion and politics. A bit scary! OH, and I do tend to think that the OP’s waitress was a bit pushy/maninpulative, and I just don’t much like manipulative. Still, now I shall know that it is consdiered a semi-normall question to ask. More ignorance fought.
