Wally, I like it… I like it alot, but then again I have a soft spot for a man in unifrom! 
Wally, I think Rachelle’s stripper idea is the way to go on this. It takes his phobia and jibes at it in a fun way.
The original plan is cruel. The victim is going to have some terror, and then embarrassment that everyone is laughing at him, even if he puts on a HaHa face.
I mean, what would you do if somebody dumped a bucket of spiders on your head? “HaHa, we were only having fun with you! Get over it!” But wouldn’t the deliberate cruelty make you feel like shit?
I know what you mean. When smokey the bear use to come on TV and say only “you” can prevent forest fires, I actually thought he meant me personally.
Hearty endorsment for Rachelle’s inspired stripper idea. Poor Dennis really could get into a world of hurt w/ this. But if the whole schtick is an obvious Halloweenish prank, then it’s both kinder and safer.
FWIW, Alfred Hitchcock was terrified of police. Just a bit of trivia. He worked out his fears about arrest, false imprisonment, etc. in movies.
And I think Wally would make a great Columbo! Stellar casting, Shayna!
Just another episode in Leave It To Wally…
Veb
That’s it. That is just it. I have got to stop reading any thread started by Wally while I am at work. It’s hazardous to my health, laughing this hard this early in the morning… and especially with a mouthful of tea.
I vote for the female-cop-stripper plan. Absolutely.
I’ll never tell!!
I’ve been following this thread with much interest. Not to mention a fair amount of hilarity! 
Everyone else has already said it better: don’t do the original plan. Do get a stripper to dress up as a cop. I can see lots of fun possiblities with either a female or a male stripper.
Hmmmmmmm…Wally…possibilities… :eek:
Let us know what you end up doing, and how it goes, Wally. With pics!
Update:
We’re going with the female stripper idea. Thanks Rachelle!
It’s going to cost $215 plus $65 for the uniform rental. I’ve already booked it, and I’ll be speaking to the stripper tomorrow to give her the lowdown on what to do. She’ll do her thing and 15 minutes later, she’s gone. Longer than that will cost extra.
Tony was disappointed, but he’ll live. I have to admit that I was more caught up in playing cop than I was in what might turn out to be a bad situation.
Dennis was much relieved. He really hated the idea.
Thanks again, Rachelle.
I’ll let you know how things turn out.
No problem. I’m full of practical joke ideas. If anyone needs any, just let me know!! 
Rachelle – Official SDMB Stripper Pimp
I’m not afraid of the cops because I’m a criminal. I’m afraid of the cops because I’m young, I dress in goth, and I’m an activist. I have an aversion to being pepper-sprayed whilst exercising my rights.
Something I’ve always aspired to be!!
Rachelle:
Dare to live your dream, baby.
Rach,
Just make sure you get your kickback!
Yeah Wally! What’s my reward for giving you this wonderful idea!
May I suggest a very interesting limey friend??
http://members.home.net/wally.m/Photos/1215_8_william_spears2.jpg
(I’d say turnabout is fair play, Rachelle)
Well, tonight was the night. So how’d it go? Details. We want details, Wally.
It was hilarious!
I’ll post the details tomorrow.
Tony gave me the tape recorder. The sound isn’t great because of all the background noise, but it can be made out if you listen carefully (and rewind often)
I’m too tired(and a little tipsy) to transcribe it now, but you will hear about it.
I’m still laughing!
I cant wait. hurry up
Update:
I picked the girl up at the agency. I thought the uniform looked really phoney, and she had on way too much makeup. But, what the hell, we’re in it now. As we’re driving, I explain what I want her to say and she tells me to relax; that this is nothing new to her, she has done this stunt several times. (Is there nothing new under the sun?)
She wants me to come to the door with her but to say nothing. I’m wearing a salt and pepper tweed sport jacket, white shirt, dark tie, dark slacks. So I tell her that I might be taken for a cop, the very thing we’re trying to avoid. She says, “The moment the door is opened, we’ll step inside, you go off to the side and be “atmosphere.” (that’s the word she used.) People will be less likely to question anything if they think there’s a detective hovering around.” I tell her everyone is in on it except the victim. She likes that. One person is much easier to fool than a group, she says. We leave her boom box in the car and she’ll signal me when she wants me to go and get it.
We pull up to the house and walk up to the door. I’m nervous, (remember, I don’t know anyone but Tony here) but she appears to be cool. The guys have been instructed not to answer the door. We want the victim to open it. This is where the tape recorder comes in handy, because it would have been difficult for me to reconstruct the sequence of events; they poured quite a few drinks into me later in the evening.
I won’t attempt to reproduce the Italian accent of the victim, because I don’t know how to write like that very well.
Knock, knock.
The victim opens the door with a big smile, which fades immediatelly.
Stripper: We’ve gotten numerous reports from your neighbours. Are you aware that disturbing the peace is a very serious criminal offence? :: She walks right past him into the living room and I follow, and stand off to the side.::
The victim at this time shows no fear, only confusion.
Victim: We don’t disturb.
The stripper sniffs the air and says:
Stripper: Who’s smoking dope?** (No one was)
Now there’s fear.
Victim: We don’t have that! Only cigars!
Stripper: What kind of cigars?
Victim: Different.
:: Here he begins to collect cigar packs from every one to show the cop, but she ignores him::
Stripper: Did you come to Canada legally?
A look of horror.
Victim: Yes! Yes! I have the paper!
::Some unintelligable stuff here::
Stripper: It’s hot in here. You got any beer?
(That’s my signal to get the boom box. I slip out the door and bring it in and put it on the floor.)
The stripper takes off her tie and puts it around the victims neck. He’s completely bewildered.
Stripper: ::To the victim:: You’re kind of cute. (that’s my cue to start the music)
And that’s when we could no longer contain ourselves. A few seconds after the music started, the look of relief on that man’s face was priceless.
She did her number, gave the victim a kiss, gave me two kisses, and was gone. Tony had called a cab for her a few minutes after she arrived and paid for it.
It’s almost impossible to make anything out on the tape from this moment, because now everyone is talking at once, mostly in Italian.
I do remember that the victim valiantly tried to convince us that he suspected something from the beginning, but he was always shouted down.
I made some new friends (some of whom said that I made an excellent detective, even though I didn’t do a thing), and I had a really great time. Those Italians know how to party.
Thank you, Rachelle!