For the last two weeks you have hammered, sawed, and made an obscene amount of noise building your jerry-rigged truck structure. It’s a piece of shit and so are you. You’d think that the 7-foot cop who came over and told you to cut it out last Sunday would have gotten his message across. But you are so motherfucking dense that you would defy a man who frightened even me, and he was on my side!
It’s not bad enough that you screamed at your wife when she came to get her stuff from your crappy, dilapidated house that you have tried to sell three times in a year. You made your kids cry so loud that my daughter asked me what was wrong over there. What should I tell her? That you are a fucking lunatic? Well, it’s my turn motherfucker, I can do lunatic like you would not believe. I take pleasure in it.
So I hope you are enjoying 10,000 decibels (possible exaggeration) of Kill 'Em All. I can tell you this, it will bother you far more than it will me because I’m pissed off today and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of the anger I am in possesion of today. Aggressive music at full volume is exactly what I need right now. I have an empty house, and a pizza on the way, and I will ride this noise fest out until you retreat into your crapshack of a house.
And next will be Slayer…I hope that offends your delicate “Christian” sensibilities. Assfuck.
When I come back from vacation, I am finding a copy of Insomnia, by Faithless, that I have misplaced and bringing it to my apartment for when the upstairs neighbors have that 4 am argument that is over before I can do anything but seethe.
I never see them around, don’t want to knock on someone’s door I don’t know at 4 am, and it’s over before I can call the cops.
But it’s not over before the bad effects have been achieved. And what’s that bad effect? My neighbors will know. They will know what I’m suffering, my sweets. I’m going to let them know what my problem is.
It might take some time in coming. In fact, I won’t let them know the ill effects they are causing me until the next night at 4 am.
Foolproof. All of the other windows in the house are closed and I went out front and you can’t hear a thing. It’s just blaring directly at him while he hammers and saws away.
It might be sick, but I do take pleasure in these things, especially when motherfuckers like this have earned it. This was not the week to fuck with Indygrrl.
You need a pulse jet. About 200dB of pure noise. I saw one once, and even knowing it was going to be loud I was amazed at how much louder it was than I thought I could imagine. And directional, point the business end at his house and let 'er rip. Don’t know if they still sell them, this was years ago.
Ah, a Video Doesn’t really do justice to the noise level, but even after the first test run you can hear the girl say her ears are hurting.
It took less than an hour for him to stop his hammering and go inside. I think it was the Pantera that finally put him over the edge. Score one for Indygrrl!
The Violent Femmes are good choice, if you find future applications necessary. Certain types of people crack easily under a short rotation of Add it Up, Kiss Off, and Blister in the Sun.
