Inspired by Warnings that products should have but don’t (I see that thread title, but think this one! :eek: )
May cause face-blindness
Do not remove more than two livers a day with this device
Known to causes dwarfism and elfism in the state of California
May cause sexual attraction to sheep.
Do not point at moon.
Do not use while married.
Side effects may include funkiness, and an urge to get on up or to get down.
May cause growth of vestigial limbs.
Not to be used.
The product I spent many years looking for would clearly state -
“Warning, this product may cause extreme horniness and could cause even Bobo to appear attractive to members of the opposite sex. Not for use in or around Colorado”
Warning: May cause existental angst and/or crisis. Do not expose to goths or anyone nearing a mid-life crisis. If exposed, immediately treat victim with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s.
Warning: Do not eat this product in the shower.
Warning: Do not opperate heavy machinery whilst wearing this item.
Warning: Do not expose to direct moonlight.
How about this one (for alcoholic beverages):
WARNING: Continouos drinking of this product may result in continous drinking of this product.
This drug may cause side effects that are similar to the indications.
WARNING: May add years to life. Keep away from in-laws.
WARNING: Do not ingest this product between midnight (in your current time zone) and sunrise.
Not effective against undead.
In the event of armageddon, all warranties shall be considered null and void.
Not to be used as a substitute for actual human blood.
Frequent use of this product has been shown to be an effective means of procrastinating and may help to prevent the acquisition of anything resembling a life.
Improper use may lead to decapitation. If decapitation occurs, see a doctor right away.