Was I a Coward Here?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I was in a phone store, waiting to pay my bill, when this happened.

There were three people behind me, a family of a man, a woman, and a little girl. The little girl had two little balloons in her hands, little fist sized non-helium balloons.

She must’ve done something to set the guy off, although I can’t imagine what it was. She was being quiet, because I didn’t notice her at all, and I always notice kids who are acting up and being annoying.

Anyway, suddenly the guy growls, “Gimme those!” and grabbed first one balloon and popped it. The girls started crying as the guy knocked the other balloon out of her hand, and grabbed it as it rolled across the floor.

“No! No!” the little girl screamed, as the guy grabbed up the second balloon and made sure she watched as he popped it with a pen in front of her.

Of course the little girl is crying, and the two adults start snarling at her to shut-up. They both started shooting looks at me, because I was staring at them with pure hatred. What kind of monsters break their kid’s toys right in front of her, and then expect her to be perfectly stoic about it?

Both of them kept poking her, and telling her to be quiet, and I just turned my back on them, because I didn’t want them to think that their little girl was the one making me angry.

I wanted to say something. I wanted to tell them what low life bullies they were. But to tell the truth, I didn’t want to get into a screaming match in the middle of a phone store. Someone who breaks a kid’s balloons for no discernible reason would have no trouble telling me what an interfering cunt I was, and who knows what else might happen.

But I can’t help thinking that in keeping my mouth shut, I’m just a big coward.

Is it ever right to speak up when something like this happens? There wasn’t any physical abuse. I’ve spoken up to what I thought were parental wrongdoings before,
but those people were yuppies. These people just looked like trouble.

2

If they were her parents, it would not have ended well. We all know how the parents of small children dislike anyone interfering in their parentage.

3

Not a coward, this falls into “pick your battles”.

4

I probably wouldn’t have said anything either.

But it sure would have ruined my day. I can’t even imagine.

Once I smirked at a kid in Walmart who was misbehaving in the toy department: having a melt-down because he wanted something and mommy wasn’t going to buy it.

The mom saw me smirk (because, as a parent, we’ve all been there) and she laid into me big time. I was speechless.

5

What were your options? It was an act of petty cruelty but the police and child protective services aren’t going to intervene over a balloon popping.

You could have said something but the likeliest result would be that the parents would have gotten mad at you and then taken their anger out on the child later.

It certainly looks like these are two terrible parents. It’s a sad situation but sometimes there’s nothing you can do.

6

The child is going to be blamed for everything that happens. Including any escalation in the ongoing scenario. You did the child a favor by not introducing new culpabilities for her to be punished for long into the future. “There, now look what happened – all your fault.”

7

Sounds like a golden opportunity to MYOB.

8

Now knowing the full context of what I witnessed, I’d have kept my mouth shut.

But I’d have wondered how my father came back to life and started a new family. The difference is that, this time around, he didn’t beat the crap out of the kid.

9

This.

Now last year at my place of business, a woman’s 6ish year old boy was mouthing off. Mom slapped the kid as hard as you can slap a kid without knocking the kid out. I told her to get the fuck out and not come back, but it was on my property and I did not want to do business with her.

10

I doubt confronting them would have made you feel any better. And it certainly wouldn’t have changed their ways. So you know, what’s the point? Truth is there are some terrible parents out there. Unless there was physical abuse involved, or if I had a close enough relationship with the parents in question, I would also mind my business.

11

Adding to the consensus of you not being a coward. I agree it may have made things worse for the child if you had said or done something.

Similar experience a couple weeks ago, altho not nearly as bad. Out to diner with my daughter, a family of 4 sits down at the next table. Mom and dad immediately whip out their phones and ignore their two small children. The boy (maybe 4) locks eyes on me. I mean - locked! I can feel the stare, but carry-on the conversation with my daughter. Finally, after a couple minutes, I started staring back - unblinking. Of course mom and dad oblivious on their phones. Rather than be dickish, I just stared, and then waived to him with a smile, and he finally broke - blinked and looked away.

I had the same thought, tho, I did not want to make a scene with the parents.

12

For what it’s worth, which probably isn’t much, one trick I’ve seen done is interrupting an ugly scene “nicely.” For example, as if you didn’t even notice the balloon popping, maybe say something nice. “Oh, what cute little girls!”

It’s less likely to get you involved in an ugly scene than a confrontation but might throw off and gently shame the parents or at least give the kids the idea that other people out there think they’re worthy even if their stupid parents don’t.

13

Popping a balloon…no. That’s something you can grind your teeth and ignore.

I was in a store once and a lady smacked her kid. Just belted him a solid one. I gave her a few choice words. She, of course, gave me some choice words right back.

(And who the hell knows: maybe I made things worse for the kid. Maybe the lady went home and took out all her aggression on the kid, since she couldn’t smack me around. Some people are just goddamn monsters.)

14

Sometimes such a situation causes such surprise that it’s hard to figure out what to do or there are multiple things to do and you have to think about them. By that time the situation is all but over.

Sort of like thinking of that snappy rejoinder a couple of hours after the argument is over…

15

If they were paying a bill, the store must have their name & address. Get that info, and report them to child protection services.

I’ve worked in child services, and in my experience, parents who treat their children like that in public are even more cruel in private, often physically violence & abusive to the child. Report 'em.

16

My thoughts too. You just don’t know what’s going on and as long as it’s not physically beating the child up, stepping in is only going to make things a lot worse.

Enraging people with possible anger issues by embarassing them further is almost never a productive course of action.

If they’re assaulting the kid (as in, really beating them up), then stepping in is an imperative. But popping their balloons and shouting at them to STFU? Stay out of it, IMHO.

17

I don’t think it’s cowardly, but I would have said something. Adults bullying children is infuriating.

18

I’m going to assume there’s WAAAY more to the story than you realize. I recall some comedian making a joke that started off similar to your story and the ending was something along the lines of “the other people in the store that didn’t think anything of it, those are parents”.

IOW, sure maybe the parents beat their kid every night, maybe they’re bullies and they’re teaching the child how to spend the rest of her life being pushed around or maybe, just maybe they’re actually somewhat decent human beings that had a crappy day and the kid has been getting on their nerves all day long and before they walked in dad said ‘I’m not telling you again, if you do that one more time, I’m taking away those balloons’. Kid did it, mom is trying to hush her up and t-bonhom wants the kids taken away (after putting the clerk in the awkward position of telling you they can’t give out someone else’s person information).

I work retail, I see people yell at their kids, it’s awkward, I feel bad for the kids, but OTOH, I know what it’s like to be a stressed out parent and have a kid that won’t cooperate. Sometimes those thoughts of ‘fucking christ stop touching everything’ bubble over and I may have loudly exclaimed ‘get back here’ or ‘you need to knock it off, fine, we’re leaving’. Which, to someone else, may have looked like I just blew up at my little kid because she touched a bag of M&M’s, but they don’t know what the last 4 hours of my day were like, fuck you very much.
TL;DR, maybe they actually are shitty parents, but for all you know, they may also be amazing parents that you just happened to catch at a shitty moment, it happens to the best of us.

And, FTR (esp @Trinopus), when I do hear people in my store getting a bit loud with their kid, I sort of keep an eye on them. I’ve never seen anyone beat a kid, but if I did, I’d have the police there. Wouldn’t even have to think about it. But dad took the kids balloons away, that’s no reason to get involved. Awkward to be next to, but no reason to confront anyone and calling CPS on a parent because they popped their kid’s balloon. I can’t even wrap my head around that logic. That’s just too big of a stretch.

19

This was my thought too.

20

I’ve learned you have to be very careful around parents and children. They are THEIR children, and even if you don’t agree, unless it’s affecting you and/or hurting the child, say nothing.

I once told a child trying to open a cash register that had money in it “You cannot be behind the register.” The mother reported me for disciplining her child!