So I caught a bunch of stuff on the recently-axed live action Powerpuff Girls, and the news that Craig McCracken reacquired the rights and is planning some kind of revival. There’s been a predictable amount of hand-wringing over this, and of course more than a little residual bile thrown at the 2016 reboot. The overwhelming consensus seems to be that nothing could match the original cartoon series and the fans want more of that.
And I have to ask…what is it about the original series that made it so beloved? It played out like a deconstruction, if not a right wing propaganda piece about how females are inferior and shouldn’t be allowed to control anything. Heck, I was a pretty big fan (I certainly liked it a lot more than Johnny Bravo or Courage The Cowardly Dog) and when it was over I soon realize how terribly it had aged.
Here. These were the basic Powerpuff Girls stories:
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The girls get into a big dustup with the bad guy(s), get absolutely creamed, and later prevail using some ridiculous out-of-nowhere tactic which uses none of their powers or fighting abilities, which was invariably “what they should have done all along”.
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The girls get into a big dustup with the bad guy(s), get absolutely creamed, and have to beg the help from a third party, often another bad guy.
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The girls fall into the bad guy’s trap and are utterly helpless until either an unlikely savior with a tiny fraction of their powers or some ridiculous twist saves them.
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One or more of the girls gains a new power/skill/tool and royally screws it up again and again and again until barely managing to get a handle on it at the 11th hour.
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The girls get horribly mistreated and can do nothing about it. The tormentors completely get away with it and learn nothing. (Goddam…
)
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An enemy of the girls gains enhanced powers, which they can’t deal with at all, and only some random lucky fluke allows them to prevail.
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One or more of the girls completely screws up and causes irreparable damage.
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One of the girls makes a bad decision, let’s her heart take over her head, or falls into a pattern of destructive behavior, putting the others in danger, and they struggle mightily to snap her out of it.
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Someone the girls care about is in danger, and it should be an easily fixable problem, but it takes such an embarrassingly long time for them to get their crap together that they avoid utter disaster by seconds.
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The girls get thrown headfirst into a living nightmare, the lesson of which generally is either they can’t ever have any fun or they shouldn’t ever have any fun.
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The girls try to get friendly with either another person or a pet and it blows up in their faces in the worst possible way.
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Something that would definitely qualify as child abuse or a gross miscarriage of justice happens, but because there’s a lesson that needs to be taught it gets a free pass.
There is no superhero fantasy here. There is no “girl power.” (They did an episode mocking the idea, for crying out loud.) Seriously, exactly how many episodes were there where they took the initiative and resolved the crisis, unassisted, with their superpowers, without massively screwing up, and weren’t crapped on afterward? There’s Boogie Frights, there’s Monkey See Doggy Two, and beyond that I’m drawing a blank. The girls seemingly exist to sell merchandise and be punching bags.
Which is why I could never understand the huge beef over the 2016 series. Other two seconds of butt wiggling in one episode which apparently blew everyone’s minds, what was so awful about it that wasn’t equally awful about the original series? From beginning to end I was like, yep, she going to screw the pooch, yep, she’s going to get beaten up, yep, she let her emotions take control and she’s about to get burned, again. Honestly, it could’ve been a college animation project by someone who admired Craig McCracken’s work, it was that on point. (Powerpuff Girls Z was a “what if” adaptation within the framework of a magical girl anime and never pretended to be anything else, so I have no input on that one.)
I fully understand that I’m risking the same dumbfounded looks I got from my Calvin and Hobbes OP. Look, it’s very simple: I’ve suffered so much pain, abuse, and injustice in my life that I can’t overlook it. If it’s a cartoon animal tormenting the crap out of another cartoon animal, yes, that can be funny, I don’t have a problem with that. But when you have three small, powerless, human (okay, human-like) girls, then give them awe-inspiring abilities, and make them EVEN MORE POWERLESS as a result, well, problem. I could watch a revival of Dexter’s Laboratory, Johnny Bravo, I.M. Weasel, or Hi Hi Puffy Amiyumi. I dread what a new Powerpuff Girls would be like.