Or the damn dogs just don’t bark when they should and your truck is stolen from your own friggin driveway in the dead of night and not a single peep.
Now if you get rid of said dogs after this event because of this event then you are not a true pet owner.
Of course they bark at every other dang thing that could not concern me in the least.
If you’ve never had to remove lizard carcasses from your screened patio, you’re probably not a cat owner.
If you have never found everything that was on your desk is now on the floor because the desk seems to be an excellent bird watching spot, you are probably not a cat owner.
I must know. Who was walking whom?
No, it’s the other way around. It is reasonable to assume that someone who reacts in that fashion does not own a dog, but one can say nothing about the inverse. Which is what GaryT said.
so, so true
If you’ve ever uttered the phrase, “Whose turd is this?” …
If you start to put on your shoes, and discover a half-alive critter wiggling inside the toe, you’re a cat owner.
I am a multiple pet owner and that disgusts me too. I’d be horrified if my host put his pet on his lap and fed it scraps off his plate.
When you come home and you open your front door, if you put your foot in the critter-block position, you are an indoor pet owner.
AHHH! You took mine! Sometimes when we go on vacations and stay in hotels, I’ll walk in and out and leave the door open as long as I like just for the luxury of it.
Okay, I’ll add to that - if you walk around your house lifting your feet normally, you probably aren’t a cat owner. If you walk down your basement steps without a care in the world and not holding the railing, you probably aren’t a cat owner. (I don’t know what it is about cats and getting in your way. Big legs are coming at you - get the hell out of the way!)
snort Sounds like me at work. (Dog turds, in my case.)
Kitten Goalie.
Sammi never tries to make a break for it, but the habit is so ingrained from having pets all my life that I do it anyway.
My mom hasn’t had a pet in her home over 10 years. She still blocks the door with her foot every time she comes home.
:::raises hand:::
looked down at my right arm and left hand today at work and realized i had two new badges of kittenese (scratches).
the scary thing is i don’t remember when or where they happened (unless mistress speck has been busy while i’m sound asleep)!
Or if you’ve never woken up in the middle of the night to “I got something” meows of triumph to find a half-mangled gecko that you have to decide to either give a mercy killing or a toss outside, you’re probably not a cat owner.
I realized something one day when my cats were not in the house (I think we must’ve gotten back from vacation and just not picked them up yet). I walk around all the time as if I expect a cat to be underfoot. It’s also one of the reasons I don’t wear shoes in the house.
If you don’t find at least one hair in your meal, you’re not a cat owner.
If you have to clean up a food spill yourself, you’re not a dog owner.
So true! We tragically lost both of our dogs earlier this year, and after having a dog of some type in the house for 21 years straight, I am still baffled by having to actually pick up popcorn from the floor. I mean, where’s the living garbage disposal? 
If you spend almost as much money at the pet store as you do at the grocery store, then you are probably (at least I hope) a pet owner.
I am not the type to by clothing or excessive toys, but the cost of food, litter, bedding, chews, vitamins, flea/tick prevention and treats can be staggering.
If it feels strange to go to the bathroom without an audience, you are a pet owner.
Or the mother of a young, very friendly kid! 
My oldest is 20, and my youngest is 7; I never did get to go to the bathroom without an audience until my youngest started school a couple of years ago.
But this morning, I had a kitten in the bathroom with me. All well and good until I was done with everything else and it was time for my daily weigh in. It’s hard to get an accurate weight when you have a kitten who weighs who-knows-how-much hopping on the scale with you! Well, now I know how much he weighs (about 4lbs.) because I had to toss him out and lock the door before I could weigh myself properly!