We’ve been together for ~5 years. Not always smooth, but we know each other really well.
Lately, we’ve been seeing each other less and less. He works early, I work late (and go to school), we don’t live together.
So tonight he tells me that he just can’t give me the attention he feels I deserve. It’s been bothering him - he doesn’t see me for a week, feels bad, etc.
I’d been thinking the same thing - if you can’t prioritize me a little on your days off, it’s not going to work. I would have said it eventually, but I’m nice.
So we both agree on the issue.
But goddam it feels like hell right now.
He’s a great guy, and really doesn’t want to do this, but cares about me enough to do it anyway.
Not just no bad blood…we stopped somewhere to get a drink towards “last call” (do they have that in Australia?) and he wrapped his arm around me walking into the bar. Someone asked if I was his girlfriend - he said “yes” never mind the breakup.
So I think he’s not happy with it either. But feels its’ what he has to do. And me too, if he can’t find the time for me…
Big hugs to you - it’s tough when you break up because it’s the “best thing to do”. Sometimes it seems like it would be easier if there had been some major arguments or stuff that would cause a break-up, but at least you can salvage friendship out of this.
Perhaps neither of you wants to split up, but it says a lot about your characters that you can recognise that a relationship takes more than either of you are currently able to give.
Thank you all very much for the niceness. My boss is quite understanding and she’s letting me late for work today. She’d probably let me take the day off, but I think I’d rather not sit around by myself.
Breaking up is awful. You have a nice boss to let you come in late. It’s good that you don’t want to stay home all day and it will be good for you to get out for a while. But there’s nothing wrong with crying it out of your system either.
I used to cry in the shower or cry in a bubble bath. I seemed to cry more when I was relaxed.
Be easy on yourself through this healing time and don’t let it make you afraid of feelings again someday.
Exercise may help too when you feel more like it.
Eventually you will have to smile or I will come back in here and start singing “The sun will come out tomorrrow…” and you don’t want me to do that, believe me…
If it makes you feel any better, the girl in this thread just broke up with me on Wednesday night. No blow outs, fights or otherwise. Won’t bore you with the deatails but it came out of left field for me. As much as it hurts though it’s good to know that I can be in a real relationship again.
So, maybe knowing someone else is feeling the same pain you are may help. Your thread helped me on this gray Chicago morning.
but I’m told it will get better with time.