So I broke things off with my boyfriend a couple of days ago. We had went out for nearly a year and I felt that it was just time for things to end. He had moved away for school and I for some reason can’t handle long distance relationships. So this whole last weekend was horrible - crying, throwing things, being depressed, and so on and so forth. I think it was particularly hard for him because I didn’t really have a concrete reason for wanting to break up - but I knew in my heard that things weren’t going to get any better and thats just the way it went. I didn’t feel the same anymore, fell out of love with him and couldn’t explain it.
So after being told that I was a “horrible person” and that he hates me and never wants to talk to me again, we parted ways for the last time. But even though he hates me and all that jive. He also said that he wasn’t going to be depressed over me because, in his words, “How could I want someone back that did this to me?”. I don’t think thats how he really feels. He sent my best friend an email telling her that they couldn’t be friends anymore. He told all of his friends that live in this town that he wasn’t going to come back anymore because all it would do is remind him of me and by the way he can’t stop crying and is an emotional wreck now. So if you ask me, that’s being depressed over someone. He also told me that “I’ve been hurt worse befrore” but in the email to my friend he said he has never been this depressed in his life. So to recap that paragraph: he is so upset over the breakup that he is going to abandon all of his best friends who would be more than willing to help him get through this.
Well, shit happens. I don’t see why I would want to stay with someone that I no longer felt the same way about. He told me that if I could just end things for “no reason” that it meant that I never really loved him. Yeah, whatever. Oh and I guess I have multiple personalities to boot. Because, didn’t you hear, a person can’t have different emotions ever. They have to feel the exact same way all the time. I don’t think I got that memo.
So I was pretty depressed for most of the rest of that day. Even though I was the one that broke up with him, it still wasn’t easy. And to top off the day’s events, the phone that I ordered on Ebay came that day, and it was totally different than the one that was advertised. I was crying my eyes out in the US Cellular place and I think I freaked out the lady that worked there a bit. Bah. So I thought that it was going to end up being a totally sucky day. Well I went to work and made 30 dollars, which is good considering I work at a restaurant and I only worked for three hours. Then my best friend called me and told me about a party that they were having and to come over to her house and I could go out there with her. So I took a shower and went over to her house.
And all I can say is this: That day was the best day of my life. After all the shit that was going on the first half of the day, the second half made it seem like nothing at all. All of my old friends were there at the party. Friends that I hadn’t seen in 6 months because I was so infatuated with the guy I was dating that I ditched them constantly. It was just like old times, and we all hugged and laughed and drank a little and sang a little and danced a little. It was perfect. And everyone there - absolutely everyone - was so glad that we had broken up, because they said that he had held me back for too long. And I just never saw it, and they were all right. And I made two new friends that night too - two friends that I feel could become among my best friends. It was so emotionally eye-opening that I can hardly comprehend it. And it wasn’t even anything special. I went to parties like that all the time, with the same people, before I started dating him. But it was the best day of my life.
I’m a better person because of him, I know it. And I know that he got a lot out of our relationship but doesn’t want to admit it. It still kills me that I hurt him so bad and caused him so much grief. I did love him and I still care about him but I know that there is no way I can help him. I will never talk to him again. But you’ll never hear me complain.