Sorry to hear the news.
I had the same reaction.
I hope ALL of you will get therapy. I know you’ve posted about your child, but be sure your wife’s mental health isn’t neglected, either. Cancer is a real mind-fuck. I beat mine over two years ago but it’s only the last few months that I’ve realized what it did to me mentally.
StillOwnedBySetters had some important advice. Is there someone in your lives who can make your son their priority, while you will inevitably being making your wife one? A grandparent, family friend, neighbor? Your son should know that while there will be times neither one of you can spend as much time with him as you would like to, it does NOT mean that you don’t still love him very much.
Try to set aside special times for the two of you (or three of you, as your wife’s health permits). Try not to make him feel shut out.
I have a special needs child and I think sometimes this has caused similar issues for my daughter. My son just inevitably needs more attention, and she feels less worthy.
Another thing to consider as you tackle this. My thoughts are with you all.
Rhythmdvl - I’m so very sorry to hear your news. My prayers and best wishes that your wife’s cancer will respond to treatment.
StG
Sorry for the bad news. I don’t have anything comforting to say except like everyone here, I’m rooting for your wife, your son and you.
Hugs to you.
I’m so sorry. I hope that your wife has a speedy and full recovery.
Fuck cancer.
I’m so sorry to hear this. I hope you all find strength and comfort in one another.
Damn, damn, damn. Fuck fucking cancer.
I am so sorry for the all of you.
Well it is one of the ‘bad’ cancers, from what I understand, but do try to maintain some hope as long as it reasonable - people do sometimes defy the apparent odds, after all. I got dx’d with a ‘good cancer’ must be about 4 yrs ago now, and have still not told my two teens - I describe it as ‘anemia’ and still function fairly well, and they appear not to have any significant curiosity so far. Wishing the very best for you all.
Truman.
Please don’t lie about your (or other family members’) health history to your children. My mom has done this for decades, and as a result my siblings and I have widely differing versions of our family’s medical history, which makes going to the doctor for issues VERY difficult. My oldest sister has been battling a particular issue for years that the docs have been baffled by because we had no family history of it- well, guess what mom recently decided to fess up to? :mad:
Your teens deserve to be able to support you, and they deserve to know about their family medical history, particularly of a parent. They can’t go through life thinking they might have a genetic predisposition to anemia when it’s actually cancer.
Rhythmdvl, I hope your talk with your son goes well for everyone. Thoughts to your family.
Please consider not giving strongly worded advice to strangers on the Internet based upon two lines of text. I know the nuances of my medical situation; you do not. My wife and I have considered the question carefully and determined that they don’t need to know yet.
Thank you.
if you say so.
Withholding some sensitive info from TEENS until the appropriate time is much different than the situation you describe in YOUR family. Mind your own business.
yes Fuck Cancer
But from my experience sometimes there just isn’t enough profanity available. I want something with more bile, more hate, more frustration, and more anguish. Something to truly yell at the world. I ended up with
WHY?
It’s all in the inflection.
Good luck you you and your family and at a risk of being a downer have the conversations you don’t want to, but should, have with her sooner rather than later, just in case.
Very sorry to hear about your wife’s diagnosis, Rhythmdvl. A close relative beat pancreatic cancer about 4 years ago and is still doing great. I hope your wife’s treatment is equally as successful.
I’m terribly sorry to hear this. Best wishes to your family!
Fuck. I’m just seeing this now. There are no words. Take care.
Damn. Really no “nice” way to do it, is there? You have done well for the child so far, Rhythmdvl, but yeah, sometimes we can only protect so far. Best of wishes for a good outcome in every sense for everyone.
Oh and right: fuck cancer. Fucking fuck it, the fucker.
“Damn. Really no “nice” way to do it, is there? You have done well for the child so far, Rhythmdvl, but yeah, sometimes we can only protect so far. Best of wishes for a good outcome in every sense for everyone.”
Really well said. We’re all wishing the very best.
Yeah, fuck cancer. My heart breaks for you all - and as a mom, I say please give a special hug to your wife.