We$tern Medicine Embarrassed By North Korean Wonder Drug

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

While scientists around the world struggle to contain and treat dangerous infectious diseases, the North Koreans have successfully developed a drug that prevents and treats such scourges as AIDS, Ebola and MERS.*

*"The official Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) said scientists developed Kumdang-2 from ginseng grown from fertiliser mixed with rare-earth elements and “micro-quantities of gold and platinum”, according to its website.

“Malicious virus infections like Sars, Ebola and Mers are diseases that are related to immune systems, so they can be easily treated by Kumdang-2 injection drug, which is a strong immune reviver,” KCNA said."*

All I can say is, Kumdang! This is even better than the Dear Leader shooting all those holes-in-one. Take that, Imperialist Big Pharma!!!

*I’m a bit puzzled at the announcement that this drug prevents and treats all those diseases, seeing as how preventing them should eliminate the need to treat them. Apparently my primitive American mind just can’t wrap itself around this revolutionary breakthrough.

2

Prevention doesn’t do much good if you already have it, though.

goes back to imagining Kim in a white coat in a lab

3

Kumdang! I am thinking of adopting it as a general exclamation indicating surprise and wonder.

4

checks fertilizer bag
Dammit, no gold, no platinum, no rare-earths. Freakin’ Big Fertilizer conspiracy preventing my ginseng from making me immortal.

5

The sad part is that there are probably more people in DPRK who believe this claim than who know what these diseases are.

But - hey, it’s an improvement. At least this time, they didn’t claim that it was invented by Dear Leader when he was 12 years old!

6

No, what you need to say is Ai gu! That’s as close as I can spell it in Roman script, and not Korean Han-gul.

Although I will admit Kumdang is more fun!:smiley:

7

I think it’s a porno movie title. :stuck_out_tongue:

8

In my country, we have a wonder drug that both prevents and treats hunger. We call it “food”.

Take that, Dear Leader.

9

Ha! Western medicine is not adequate for Korean bodies.

“Korean is the most perfect creature ever to sanctify the earth with the imprint of its foot.” -Chiun
:smiley:

10

I read the thread title as ‘Western Medicine Embarrassed By North Korean Wonder Dog’.

I like my way better. It has so much potential.

11

It says that it was developed “by scientists”. This is just another example of the Dear Leader’s wonderful and amazing modesty. He doesn’t want the credit for his great discovery!

12

That’s just stupid.

Everyone knows kimchi cures SARS, not ginseng.

13

I wonder what the HIV infection rate is like in North Korea? I would assume it’s fairly low, comparatively, with such a homogenous, insulated society.

Has there been any data?

14

At least it’s injected. I hate the taste of ginseng. Please note that, PepsiCo, with your Pepsi Max.

15

Do you always talk like a Chinese fortune cookie?

16

except for those running dogs in Pyongyang!!

17

The Norks, fed up with being fooled by Onion articles, are now writing their own.

18

It’s a phrase often uttered by Dear Leader’s mistresses when they’ve been disappointed in the bedroom once again.

19

They don’t have that in North Korea, so they had to develop other methods.

Regards,
Shodan

20

We don’t know, because the Official Government Position is that North Korea is an HIV-free country. However, we know from Chinese health officials that it isn’t. Official denial is rarely an effective HIV prevention strategy.