We will not post outrageous lies in this thread,

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

(The Hell we won’t!)

*Pea soup can make you go deaf.

*There’s a river in Uganda named after me.

*One out of ten Rottweiler puppies is a genius.

*Many Sicilians believe that it’s bad luck to recite limericks.

*The governor of South Dakota once walked to Utica, New York on stilts.

*Geronimo had a teddy bear named Orpheus.

*San Francisco, CA is the only city in North America where you can buy six-fingered work gloves at pharmacies.

*Michelle Obama’s teeth are made of cat hair.

*There are eighteen vowels in the word “Schadenfreude”.

*A shrunken head makes an excellent anniversary gift.

*Homer,John Milton, and Ray Charles all had gills.

*If you feed kittens saltwater taffy and pepper jack cheese, they will grow up to be alligators.

*Chile con carne is Japanese food.

2

Not touching this one …

3

Actually this would make an excellent anniversary gift. It would be an awesome conversation piece to practice "Grandpa’s Patently Tall Tales"™ on the grandkids with.
The Earth’s core is a big rubber ball

4

If the Shuar tribe is celebrating the anniversary of their glorious victory over the Huambisa tribe, it would be the perfect gift.

By coincidence, these were the names of my three deceased goldfish, one of whom was blind.

5

Wins the thread

6

  • Elephants pair up for life with partners who are willing to use their tusks to knit together.

  • One of the secret ingredients in the Big Mac Special Sauce is pulverized Brussels sprouts.

  • By law in 27 states, hubcaps cannot be edible.

  • The first person to pop a wheelie on a riding mower was Douglas Robert St. James of Lincoln, Nebraska.

7
  • My brother is the author of three books: The Vampire LeStat, The Joy Of Cooking, Siddhartha and The Grapes Of Wrath

*I can change the color and side parting of my hair by just thinking about it.

*All monkeys sell insurance.

8

Donald Trump is our greatest POTUS to date.

9

The Titanic was deliberately scuttled as part of an elaborate insurance fraud; the owners realized it was too expensive to keep operating her.

10

I am irresistibly attractive to women and have to constantly turn down propositions.

( :frowning: )

11

There is no such thing as homosexuality. People who claim to be “gay” are actually part of an Illuminati conspiracy and they laugh at the rest of us during their weekly pizza parties.

12

The longest German word is LorumipsumdolorsitsindnichtconsecteturadipiscingelitmseddoeiusmodtemporincididanttunlaboreetdolormagnaaliquautenimadminimveniamquisnostrudÜbung.

Loosely translated it means “The longest German word.”

13

Three of these are weirdly plausible.

14

The 1975 Chevrolet Impala was voted Best Car In All Of Eternity by the Coalition of Pre-teens Spilling Ice Cream in the Back Seat.

15

I stand on my head while showering. For reasons:)

16

Benjamin Franklin advocated eating a teaspoon of mucus every day.

17

Joe Walsh is terrified of Fairbanks Alaska. He thinks it will be the last place he ever goes and he will not be able to turn his pretty head and walk away.

18

Sorry, I can’t hear you. Had pea soup for lunch.

19

I killed a man in Reno because he complained about my snoring.

Manhole covers in Switzerland are made of gold.

The world’s record for eating leeches belongs to Margrethe Svensdotter of Iceland, who defeated reigning champion Chao Shui Zhi in 2017 at Florida’s Broward County Fair.

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*The average cat only has 2.7 lives if you exclude statistical outliers.
*The paramecium was invented in Paramus, NJ.
*One in every 3618000 snowflakes is five-sided.