If we have a talking lawn mower and garbage can, does talking to them constitute relationship time?
I pee sitting down.
Ahhhhh. Relaxing. I don’t need to aim (and when it’s 5 bloody AM and my bladder just can’t wait any longer, I like not being able to aim), I don’t need to worry about morning wood, I don’t need to worry about peeing on the seat.
Frankly, it’s a non-issue unless I’m in a public restroom.
Fireman got upset because I told about his problem… So he’s making me Eggs Benedict this morning. Punish me more! 
And what if we had talking devices that barked orders to woemn?
Would it still be a good idea when it was the iron saying ‘Those clothes sure are wrinkly.’ or the vacuum cleaner saying ‘That carpet’s got so much dust on it I can’t tell what color it is anymore.’?
How come all the ideas are about ordering men around, or attaching the annoying voice to a ‘traditionally male’ household item/chore?
I live alone. I pee standing up, and the only time I’ve ever had streaks down the outside of my bowl was after a visit by a female friend one evening. (Still don’t quite know how she managed that.) My toilet lid stays down between uses because I think it looks tidier that way. My ex and one of her friends have often made comments about men needing to be “trained,” but Og forbid anyone say anything sexist to them. :rolleyes:
*It’s a beautiful day in the bachelor-hood,
A beautiful day for a bachelor… *
Cause women folk usually don’t need to be told. 
<angry male voice>
“Your husband’s cock won’t suck itself!”
</angry male voice>
If you’re aiming for the bowel, no wonder there’s a mess.
My ex would often leave the underside of the toilet seat wet. I think it was splashback from the bowl. Gross.
We kept the toilet lid closed all the time because of the cats, so the lid up / lid down issue didn’t come up. This was good, because I despise the selfishness of women who insist that the seat be left down for them. If it’s inconvenient for the guy, no prob, but inconvenient for the woman? God forbid such a thing ever happens.
I generally go while sitting down. I have annoying split stream / spray / stream-and-dribble issues, so sitting down means I don’t have to take the time to wipe up afterwards.
THANK you.
People who don’t aim are a pain to BOTH sexes, since men need to sit down sometimes too. The problem isn’t men, it’s jerks. Same people who don’t flush and that kind of thing.
Says pokey…
This shall be my new sig, should pokey allow it…pokey? pokey?
And it’s not as though women can’t pee standing up if they really want to.
There are even online tutorials to teach the ladies how!
Give it up, catsix.
I realize you’re trying to help, but the fact remains that the last stereotyped group available in America to make fun of is straight (probably white) men. Married men get it the worst, but the rest of us are apparently hopeless idiots too.
I’ll admit it for the record: we’re all hopeless idiots, and we just can’t get along without all of you empowered and superior “other people,” who don’t happen to be heterosexual American men.
We’re all useless losers, okay?
Please move on to the next dumb joke.
Don’t forget the bald guys. We still get to mock them as well.
It’d be pretty cool if it was a recording of Hitler instead.
an affirmative…
Piss uber Alles!
Sieg Heil!
I’ll admit it for the record, that you even think I find it acceptable to make sexist jokes against men really hurts my feelings.
I suppose I should not have posted at all in this thread, and I wasn’t going to until the jokes about other household items barking orders at men started.
I didn’t find it funny. I found it just as funny as most feminists would find an iron that tells them the clothes are too wrinkly or the oven that says ‘Get your bitch ass back in the kitchen and make me some pie!’
I don’t know what made you think that I feel ‘empowered and superior’ to men, but you’re quite wrong. I’m someone who wrote letters to Claire’s Boutiques to tell them I didn’t find their mockery of boys t-shirts funny, I found them awful. I was attempting to politely point out that joking about lawn mowers ordering men to cut the grass wasn’t funny by saying ‘What if the shoe was on the other foot?’
I’m really quite sorry that disliking sexist jokes against men makes me seem like a bad person. I apologize.
Good grief. I am the one that started the funny about other devices barking orders at men, so it is me you are upset with. I am sorry that offended you. I was just making a funny. Sorry you didn’t find it that way. Bows out of thread gracefully.
Now that’s a good sig line. 
I’d just like to state for the record that a toilet barking orders at me in German while I’m trying to aim is probably not going to improve the general cleanliness of the facilities - on the contrary, I’d say.
You got me all wrong. Believe it or not, I actually read your posts and, like I said, I realize that you’re trying to help. My “admission” of hopeless idiocy was intended for the children who think man-bashing is funny.
I’m just afraid you’re wasting your time, because nothing’s going to change any time soon.
Maybe I am too much of an idealist if I think I can change a damn thing.
I do know one thing though. If everybody believes nothing will change, and nobody tries, nothing will change. So whether I fail or not, I keep trying.