Okay I need some serious help and suggestions. I always read about these brides going wacko and now I understand why. It hard to cater to both my family and my husband to be’s family. Anyway that is a different thread I guess.
Here is my problem: Our wedding is on July 26th and since my parents are paying for the wedding its at my home town, a very small town called Greencaslte (which makes the groom family have to travel 3 to 4 hours to get there they live in Ohio and my family lives in Indiana). I should have thought this before hand and didn’t find out until recently that this time is also Fair Week making it almost impossible to find cheap reception sites. We first picked the park because a) its only $25 and b) its lke 2 min. walking distance of the church. Well my fiancé’s mom brought up the fact that outside = dirty, hot, and sticky during this time of the year (even in the evening our reception is around 5:30 or so). Plus we are screwed if it rains (although I was going to rent a tent or something and put it up incase it was a rainy day). And since they all we be dressed up, none will want to stay and get all their nice clothes ruined (which I don’t blame them!) So we decide to ditch that idea and tried to find an indoor reception site (of course this is kind of last mintute changing).
Everywhere we called each place caters their own food so we would have to buy everyone meal (which we just wanted to have a good old cook out type of reception or something like that). Each place we called is like $300 to $600 just for the room :eek: My side of the family can’t afford it that is for sure (we are trying to have a traditional low budget wedding). Both sides of the family weren’t happy about the park location because alcohol is not permitted (which is one thing my boyfriend and I liked the most since both sides of the family have alcoholics and we didn’t want alcohol at the reception)
Anyway, I have tried our local Moose Loudge, Elk Loudge, banquet halls, and other places that offer reception rooms. Each too expensive or don’t have any openings. My mom has called the local VFW like 5 times and no one will ever pick up so there went my latest cheap reception idea.
I don’t want to go back to the original idea of having it at the park because I want my fiancé’s family to be apart of the reception party/celebration and if we do the park thing they won’t stay including his mother. I am at wits end! Any suggestions of places or anything would be very very very very helpful at this point and time!
Do you have any friends with a nice yard?
We had ours at a friends house on the rivers edge. They had a very large wraparound porch in case it rained, and we set up the food and the cake there.
If you can’t afford $300 for a reception site, you should probably scrap the tent idea-those things are ungodly expensive!
However, if there’s a porch, carport, or anything like that you can use I’d go for that. It may be a bit hot, but nothing they can’t handle-people go to outdoor summer parties all the time! You may ask the women to wear nice sundresses, and the men short sleeved polos under their jackets or something, so that they’ll be comfortable.
we had the park booked but then unbooked in. Can’t really change the date our families have already requested the day off and my mom has ordered the invatations. The local Moose Loudge does have a picknic ground which has a shelter house, lots of room, and a Big Barn/Shed like building there but I don’t know if it will accomodate everyone (I think there is going to be 75 or more people at our reception). But still that is an outside reception and I it’s a 15 min. drive out in the country so it still might be a burden to my fiancé family anymore than I already have by making the drive for 3 to 4 hours to get the the wedding
I realize that’s a little abrupt but sometimes drastic measures are needed. You are getting completely stressed out over what should be one of the happiest days in your life because, IMHO, your are trying to please too many people. The fact that your parents are paying for it actually puts a bigger burden on you as you still seem to feel responsible for pleasing everyone involved but you don’t have control of the situation.
Unfortunately I can’t use any examples from my own recent wedding to TheLadyLion to help you save money. We had a modest wedding by many standards but the catering bill alone was nearly $1,800 and we actually exceeded our planned total budget at that. We paid for it ourselves and that was our saving grace. We didn’t have to answer to anyone but ourselves. We made it a day of joy for ourselves, our loved ones and close friends.
Decide what your priorities are. This is your wedding, not your parents.
The simple truth is, if you try to please everyone but yourselves, you’re not going to please anyone, including yourselves. It’s your wedding, and while it’s certainly nice to try to be as accommodating as is reasonable, you need to keep in mind what the day is really about.
Why not have a casual reception and even wedding? Have everyone wear shorts and t-shirts and have it at the park, or have a normal wedding and tell everyone to change afterwards for a park reception. Or have it at someone’s house, as sidle suggested.
I would also suggest you tell your parents that you want to pay for your wedding and then have whatever you can afford. I speak from experience here.
Where is the ceremony? Is there nothing available there?
As to the reception itself, we had a pot-luck reception. I bought the cake, mints, and such. And everyone brought something. Since it was southern marrying southwestern, it made for an interesting mix. Even my sisters-in-law, coming from New Mexico, brought something. My mom made the punch, my uncle brough chicken, etc… It wasn’t fancy, but that was fine. I’ve had more complements over the years about this than about the actual wedding.
And remember, it’s your day. You can alway hold a “reception” sometime in the future. You don’t “have” to do anything.
And, if you have the reception outside, let the people know before hand. I don’t know what late July is like where you live, but I’m located nextdoor to Hell. The heat alone might keep some people from attending. Just a thought.
Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about making your guests drive a little ways to the reception. 10-15 minutes isn’t that big of a deal, especially since you’re not forcing them to do it immediately after they get into town.
You might check into local historic homes or museums. They often will host receptions.
But I do I love the idea of a casual outdoor reception. You could consider having a receiving line with punch and cake for about 45 minutes in the fellowship hall of the church, everyone dressed all nice. Then everyone sheds the fancy duds, puts on comfortable stuff, and joins you a few hours later for a picnic/BBQ. Instead of spending money on an expensive site, you could invest in some croquet equipment or a boulles set and horseshoes–the kind of stuff that people of any age could enjoy in the park.
Ultimately, though, go with what feels right TO YOU. Yes, there seems to be a “template” for how a wedding reception must be, but it’s not written in stone and frankly, people tend to remember and enjoy the ones that are a bit different.
Stick with the original plan. I’ve been to outdoor receptions and they were fine. A tent, some tables and chairs, plenty to drink is all you will need. Really the grooms family should not have ANY imput into the reception. Especially if they aren’t paying for it.
Do the Moose lodge. That way there’s some shelter.
15 mins is nothing to drive for a reception (we were pushing the limit at 40 mins between wedding site-church ruins out in the middle of nowhere-to reception house, and no one complained!)
They’ve been outdoors in the summer for a party, and they’ll do it again. Don’t worry about that.
I would ask them to dress for the weather though. If you want people to look nice, ask for sundresses and such instead of shorts.
Check the web-you may be able to order some paper hand fans, maybe even with your names and date, for dirt cheap.
Make sure that you’ve exhausted every free possibility first, though. Can you have it in someone’s house? Candles, free greenery from the trees and bushes outside, lots of tulle (very cheap!) and strings of white Christmas lights will go a long way towards transforming any ordinary place.
High School/grade school gym.
Old movie theater lobby.
Drive in theater concession stand.
A local bar or restaurant that normally opens later.
Vacant store.
Barn.
Warehouse.
In other words, don’t think of places it has been done, think of places it COULD be done, but no one has ever thought of doing it there. Someplace off-the-wall odd will make it fun and memorable for everyone who attends…
“…and she had her reception in a bowling alley!!! Imagine that!”
"How was it?’
“Great! And I bowled a 240 on the groom’s team!”
kremit334, are you in Missouri? I live really close to a Greencastle, surely there aren’t 2 of them are there? haha
Anyway, I just wanted to put in another vote for having it at somebody’s house. You can get a few kegs, a big tent, and cheap catering. Probably you can also do a lot of the catering yourself!
many firehouses have a large activities room that they will rent out for meetings and receptions. don’t recall seeing them on anybody’s mention list yet.
making it almost impossible to find cheap reception sites. We first picked the park because a) its only $25 and b) its lke 2 min. walking distance of the church. Well my fiancé’s mom brought up the fact that outside = dirty, hot, and sticky during this time of the year (even in the evening our reception is around 5:30 or so). Plus we are screwed if it rains (although I was going to rent a tent or something and put it up incase it was a rainy day). And since they all we be dressed up, none will want to stay and get all their nice clothes ruined (which I don’t blame them!) So we decide to ditch that idea and tried to find an indoor reception site (of course this is kind of last mintute changing).