Wedding Vows I'd Love To Hear

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Love, honor, cherish…yep, all good stuff. But after years of being married, talking to married people, and just generally observing marriages around me, I think the best vow a couple could pledge would be “To let you turn on the furnace when you get cold, and the air conditioner when you are hot.”

I mean, truly, is there no greater expression of love and cherishing than this? Rather than…"it’s only (insert month here), we don’t need the (insert HVAC system here) yet (or still). Or, “the thermostat should be set at THIS temperature no matter what.” Or the more dreaded, “It’s too expensive, just put on a sweater/tough it out/open a window, honey”

What practical expressions of true love would you like to see as wedding vows?

2

I’ll do the dishes if you cook…

3

My husband promised, on our wedding day, to make fun of me as long as we both shall live.

Not practical, bur realistic nonetheless.

4

I didn’t even know the people at the time of their wedding, but…

He vowed to let her watch her soaps whenever she wanted, with no criticism or interruption.

She vowed to let him play with his model trains whenever he wanted, with no criticism or interruption.

That was his first wife. Last I heard, he was on wife number three. (I’m still frinds with wife number two.)

5

I rather like the OP’s temperature-related one, but I’d also like something like “I promise to always notice when you dye your hair.”

6

“To love, honor, and admit equal ownership of the family pet when they’re good and when they do something that requires cleanup…”

7

I always thought Max Von Sydow in the cheesy movie Flash Gordon had some of the best wedding vows ever:

Zogi, the High Priest: Do you, Ming the Merciless, Ruler of the Universe, take this Earthling Dale Arden, to be your Empress of the Hour?
The Emperor Ming: Of the hour, yes.
Zogi, the High Priest: Do you promise to use her as you will?
The Emperor Ming: Certainly!
Zogi, the High Priest: Not to blast her into space?
[Ming glares at Zogi]
Zogi, the High Priest: Uh, until such time as you grow weary of her.
The Emperor Ming: I do.
Dale Arden: I do NOT!

8

Never to allow lima beans to enter our home.

9

I promise to love, honor, etc as well as not steal the blankets, drink directly out of containers in the fridge, get water on the bathroom floor whilst showering, and accept the fact that everything in the house cannot be cleaned with Windex and long as you allow me to skip attending events that your friends or family schedule that conflict with sporting events that I deem important and agree that I get, at minimum, one blowjob a week.

10

Oooh, that’s a good one!

11

Beat me to it! And even though the movie was cheesy, I loved it, and just last Christmas bought the special edition DVD as a present for myself!!!:smiley:

12

When Jennifer Aniston married Brad Pitt, Aniston promised to always make Pitt his “favorite banana milk shake.” Pitt, in turn, vowed to “split the difference on the thermostat.”

We all know how that one turned out.

13

Toilet seat up/down.

14

Since I have no idea what I agreed to the first time and I didn’t realize that I would get poorer/sicker/worser all at once…

Must be registered to vote and VOTE. (or stop bitchin’)
To admit at least once a month that I may in fact, be correct.
Will promise to reset the car seat when done driving it 1/4 of a mile. (back, seat, rearview, both side views, armrest and seatbelt adjuster thingy are ALL changed)