I’m not going to make this about my own bathroom habits, but obviously if you gotta go, you gotta go. But just as you describe the event as your “morning constitutional,” it is for many a function that takes place on a rough schedule even if you wouldn’t set your watch by it. As a generalization, women poop at home. Sure, it’s a mental thing – what else is the concept of “privacy” but a mental comfort level? Although I haven’t conducted a study or anything, I would guess the “privacy” motivation is made up of knowing the event may be smelly, audible, take a bit of time, and leave the bathroom smelling bad. Plus, IME many women don’t like people to even know when they perform bathroom-related bodily functions: We’re raised not to burp or fart in public, and it gets ingrained that some things you take care of inobtrusively.
A man – not speaking of you personally (how would I know?) but I’ve seen it happen many times – will be at work, get up, grab the newspaper, and just march down to the bathroom. He could just as well be carrying a flag that say’s I’M GOING TO POOP! I’m not judging that – who cares? – but IME women never do that.
It happened to me once when I was about 5 or 6, at my grandmother’s house. The little guy was just sort of lined up with the seat/rim gap at that age. Since cleaning up after myself was beyond me, I called my mom. And boy, was she pissed (ba-dum tish!). These days it hangs down into the bowl, so I don’t think I could make it happen unless I tried.
Re: office pooping- I’ve learned that if I don’t respect the signals my body sends me (like “hey buddy, get your ass into the bathroom NOW!”), I’m all thrown off system-wise. Work, home, driving down the highway- when I’m ready to get rid of it, I’m off to find the facilities.
Re: pants around the ankles- it’s along the lines of how guys sit on anything- in the car, on a couch, whatever- as compared to women. Women sit with their legs together, more or less; guys spread. We can’t spread with our pants around our knees. Even if I could, I’m not sure I could get the required… leverage, I guess, to make things happen on the bowl.
Yep. I’ve had this experience exactly once as well. It was, of course, at work. I got myself good – completely soaked my pants and underwear. I then had to use some major ninja-like skills to make my way from the bathroom, into my office to get my car keys, back out of the office and into the parking lot, and change into my backup clothes (I always keep backup clothes in the trunk) – all without anyone realizing that I was, for all intents and purposes, pee-soaked.
It wasn’t until a couple of hours later that someone said to me “Hey, you weren’t wearing jeans before, we’re you?”.
I poop at work, but read discreetly whilst in there. My eBook reader fits in my pocket, so I’m not striding towards the facilities with a paperback under my arm, whistling jauntily…
I don’t let my pants drop to around my ankles. I do NOT want that much of my clothing on public stall floors. I’ve seen pee and “other remnants” on the floors in front of the toilet entirely too often. The only thing worse than getting my own pee on my pants is getting the previous pooper’s pee on my pants.
At home I take my pants off and hang them on the hook on the door.
Me too. When I sit down at work (reading material in hand) I find myself aiming directly at that the space between the bowl and the seat. Can’t they make a toilet for the, ummm, less dangley man?
Consider your ignorance fought. That’s what’s great about these boards. You find out all sorts of disgusting stuff.
I, too, have done the gap pee. Every single time it has been at home.
Except once. I was at a friend’s house. I had to sit on his furniture for another couple of hours and then sit in someone else’s car for an hour. It was pretty much a horrible night.
A lot of toilet seats in this part of the world don’t have that gap. All that happens then is that you spray the underneath of the toilet seat. At least it doesn’t go on your pants.
I’ve found the problem only happens on one specific toilet at work, the one in the handicapped stall, which I don’t use unless absolutely necessary. It is just enough higher, or the seat is a bit elevated above the bowl, so I point right at the gap unless I pay a lot more attention to where I am aiming than I want to. Never happens in the other stalls or at home.
Hesitant TMI…in my case it has to do with, um, outflow valve aperture ergonomics. If the knees are together, the semi-plastic extruded material exits with significantly more secondary contact with the surrounding cheekular barriers, making for a messy wiping operation.
