My Reason for Living and I have known each other for 11.5 years, married for 6.5 and have never fought. No screaming matches, no throwing things. I think because his parents were of the old european way of doing thing (Father/Man is always right regardless) he knows there are two sides to every argument. I grew up primarily in a single parent unit and from my widowed mother I’ve learned that women are always right. (Well, we are ) It’s a hell of a thing to change your mind from…really. It’s only been in the past few years that I’ve learned to bite my tongue and shut up.
I think some ( not all) couples, fight over the most ridiculous stuff ( squeezing the toothpaste, toilet seat debate…you know, stuff that really doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of life) and then ignore the stuff that is a huge issue, like how to spend the money, raise kids, household issues. We don’t fight over money because we know simply there will never be enough.
It is important to treat each other fairly and with respect. One of the best things I’ve ever heard about relationships came from a cousin of mine: Marriage is not always 50-50. sometimes it’s 60-40, 90-10, 30-70. Some days your slice of pie is big and sometimes it’s small. If it’s chronically on the larger work load end, then some discussions must be done.
Being married, also doesn’t mean you give up your right to think for yourself. I’ve witnessed many a marriage where the woman just parrots her husbands views, lifestyle and opinions totally and because a walking ad campaign for him. It’s really pathetic.
To end this, I think John Gray is a sap, catering to people who cannot think for themselves. He has a new book coming out called, " Men are from mars, women from venus and babies are from heaven." I read an excerpt of it and it looks like there is going to be a generation of kids running over their parents with his limp wristed parenting advice.