Weird product warnings revisited! Add your gems to this treasure.

If Apple can perform the miracle of shrinking a digital music player to the size of a couple of sticks of gum, surely they can make it chewable, too!

I really REALLY want to know what prompted this disclaimer…

“Do Not Eat Frozen Pizza”

That would explain all the obviously peanut-based products that say “Contains peanuts.” It still doesn’t excuse the silly sort of waffling that leads to labeling something with “Peanut” in the name with “May contain nuts.”

Reminds me of my local Tim Horton’s coffee shop. The lids always say, “Caution! Contents may be hot!”

They’d damn well better be, 'cos I didn’t ask for iced.

Because, despite the name, peanuts are not nuts. They are legumes. Some people have allergies to peanuts. Other people have allergies to nuts. One of my co-workers is just fine with peanuts, but if he gets anywhere near a pecan or almond he can’t breathe.

The warning on the peanut package is for the benefit of those like him, who may not be aware that the peanut packing line may have some residue from the batch of walnuts that was processed a few hours earlier.

Obviously, the nephew goes to a school that is run by the same people who ran the dining hole at my college.

What are we supposed to do with it, then? I’ve been doing this wrong for so many years…

Any beef, chicken, turkey, or fish cooked in my kitchen has probably been tested on animals. The animals insist on it.

Once when I was a TA, I was asked by one of my students if I had taken the test they were studying for. I said, “No, we don’t test our exams on animals”.

And LHoD and freckafree, can you save me a window seat? I laughed myself to tears at both of your posts.

Probably the word “apple” + a newly literate moron…