Actually, I might like some of those giant doritos.
Hair dryer: “Do not use while sleeping.”
Electric eel tank at the pet store: “Do not put your hand in the electric eel tank.”
When those warnings start showing up on collections of Charles Schultz cartoons, that’s when I’ll worry.
Before I upgraded to using one of the shiny mylar windshield sun screens I had a cardboard accordion-style shield with the big sunglasses printed on them. The warning printed on it said, “Do not drive with shield in place” (or something to that effect). Any moron who doesn’t already know this probably shouldn’t even be driving in the first place.
Then again, it may not :dubious:
Mentrual relief medications that “shouldn’t be used by anyone suffering from prostate problems”
and a warning in the owner’s manual for our jacuzzi: WARNING! WATER ATTRACTS CHILDREN!
Whew! Thank god they put that in. I certainly don’t wanna attract any of those!
Yaknow, if they marketed a product called “Soylent Brown” that had that warning on it, I’d totally buy it just to show off. 
This shows up on packages of Peanut M&Ms, too. “May contain nuts.”
I figure they’re just covering their bases. In case they accidentally send out a package that doesn’t have any nuts, they won’t get sued.
There is of course the classic disclaimer on Kenner products Batman/Superman costume capes “Warning: Cape does not enable wearer to fly.”
A medicine that says it may increase risk of uterine cancer in women. It then adds “does not pose a risk in women that have had the uterus removed. They needed to add that last bit why?
This should be in my other post of should be warnings, but this is on the same product. I think they need to add this disclaimer “Product does not make you bullet proof.”
Were they trying to warn people who were avoiding pork, or people who were expecting it? I fear no one will know for sure.
I remember when I was a kid reading “There’s only one Ritz” on the side of the cracker box, and being bitterly disappointed to fine a bunch of little Ritzes in there instead of one giant cracker.
The little utility knives that you used to be able to get from MIT Lab Supply had a warning on the side that said
In all seriousness, there’s probably a law requiring any product that contains peanuts to put a warning label on the package, no matter how obvious it is that there are peanuts inside. It’s easier to write a blanket law like that covers everything, then try to come up with exceptions for jars of peanut butter or bags of peanuts that might inadvertently exclude something not so obvious.
Boy, there’s a law suit waiting to happen due to a poorly-written warning! What they should have said was, “Cut off legs of children and pets prior to burning.”
Sometimes the juxtaposition is just funny. My favorite matchbook (which I saved) said:
WARNING!!!
Contains advertising.
Keep away from children.
Apparently not. I happen to have in my home right now a one pound bag of Hoody’s salted peanuts and a five pound bag of Hoody’s unsalted peanuts. The one pound bag has a warning that says, “Manufactured on shared equipment with peanuts and other tree nuts.” The five pound bag has no warning at all that I can find.
My guess is that the peanuts have their own roaster and some of them then go on to be salted, where they may mingle with other nuts. I suppose that some people may not be allergic to peanuts (being legumes) but may have a reaction to pecans or brazil nuts.
The stange thing is the “peanuts and other tree nuts” part. Hoody’s couldn’t be implying that peanuts belong in the tree nut category, could they?
Sorry for the double post, but I guess that warning could be worded that way so they can put it on all their salted nut products rather than do a different one for each product.
Then again, all I’ve ever seen around here from Hoody’s are the roasted in-shell peanuts. I would never have known they do other nuts if it weren’t for that warning.
That reminds me of when Apple first released the iPod Shuffle, at the bottom of their webpage was a small disclaimer warning:
“Do not eat iPod Shuffle.”
The lid of my top-loading washer says, among other warnings:
Apparently the manufacturer has never heard of laundry detergent or grease-cutting stain removers. :smack: