Gosh, is it Friday already? You know what that means!
Last night’s “Tahiti Night” was a roaring sucess. (Kn*ckers, are you up for this after your smashing performance last night?)I’ve already got the place cleared out, and now all I have to do is roll out the good furniture for tonight’s Pajama & Martini Party! Yup, it’s a party a minute at Skerri’s.
Can someone recommend a good carpet cleaning company? (Until I get that stain out, I’ll have to keep some sort of barricade up…)
Just so everybody knows, it was not the bear (this time) that peed on Skerri’s carpet last night.
[Bolding my favorites]
Could you play some old Tears for Fears? I just saw “Pale Shelter” on VH1 Classic and I’ve got the jones for some TfF now.
I was thinking of getting a part-time job at an independent radio station because I want to hear what I want to hear, but if you’re playing great stuff like that, I’ll listen to you all the time! Even while I’m auditing plnnr’s books for that “Boobs for Taxpayers” scam he’s got going!
Ya know, plnnr, I’ll sweep the whole thing under the rug if I can get a nice set of D-cups. 
I’d be delighted - I was so glad that my rendition of “Cocomo” was such a hit, last night!
Remember, Dopers and Dopresses, you can fill all your pajama needs at Knyckers Fine Lingerie! And in honor of Skerri’s Pajama & Martini Party, all sleepwear is half off! That is, the price is half off. Though tailoring is available upon request.
Well now, no big town is complete without the local motorcycle shop. We sell all brands and all the local bikers like to hang out here. We are not always open on the weekends since we like to ride, and once a month we do a safety class for the new riders. I’m gonna need a few sales people and a mechanic or two even though I do both. Any and all gear you could want is here from jackets and helmets to bags for your trips.
I’m also gonna open a metal shop/bar for the metal bands to play in. Not to take away from the other fine establisments but a metal bar is unique. Here you can find all that hard to find metal from around the world. We are only open late at night after the bike shop closes down.
Also, and since this shouldn’t take too much of my time I’ll be the local map maker, I can have maps for any occasion and all the local buisness will be listed of course. The good motorcycle roads will also be highlighted.
Lastly in my spare time I will play trombone for any band that happens to need one. I’m not picky so I’ll play Jazz, orchestra, or whatever.
reads all 7 pages and rethinks the idea of becoming the town Banger
You want to send me down to that den of iniquity? Well, if you insist…but this is going on the corporate credit card.
What?! You know she’ll kick me out if I don’t at least try some stuff on!
(This trip to the lingerie store might take a while. Like, all weekend. Because I’m not going out of town until Monday or anything. Nope. I’m trying on sexy bras.)
Sorry 'bout the prolonged absence, but Otherville was having an excellent music festival this weekend - fifteen garage bands from Finland, Sweden, Norway, Latvia, and Estonia - so I haven’t been around to respond to applications. I tried to get Lsura to come, but she said something about having to re-submit her thesis proposal, which I totally understand.
Anyways…
ScorpioStem, since you’re a highschool student, would you be willing to fill some of our early morning time slots, say maybe from 6-8 A.M.? We could really use an energetic young voice to kick off the morning; plus, that punk music will get everyone out of bed much quicker than some of the stuff played at our…ahem…other radio stations.
Mr. Visible, we’d love to have someone carry us through the wee hours of the night. If you and ScorpioStem could make it in sometime this weekend for an intense training session (well, as intense as community radio can get), we’ll get you guys on the air this week.
Oh, and make sure to brush up on your leftist political ramblings and your snide dismissals of “popular” radio - the hallmarks of any self-respecting community radio host!
(glaring over the top of her hornrim glasses and down her prim little nose)
Yes, well, while you were paying your fines the other day, I noticed you wedding ring. Sir, would your wife appreciate knowing that you’ve been flirting with librarians? If I were her, I wouldn’t put up with such nonsense. Fiddle dee dee!
Treviathan,
Unfortunately classes at Dopeville High begin at 7 in the morning. However, I could take the spot from 3 to 5 if it would be ok with you. I am definitely up for the training this weekend and I look very forward to meeting you.
Skerri,
Are you in need of any bands for opening acts in the near future? The Whelks are not booked for very many shows right now, so please contact me if you are interested.
ScorpioStem, we can always work something out. At Skerri’s, we’re very accomodating. (You just have to promise not to do anything illegal, since you’re still in high school.)
Now, who wants the first martini?
Me! Dry dry dry, dirty, two blue cheese stuffed olives. Tanq Ten is my gin. Should I just mix it myself?
Heh heh. No, but you’ll have to do the olives. I’m ridiculously allergic to bleu cheese. 
Snazzy pjs you’ve got there, bristlesage.
Well, I decided to give my, er, staff the night off. I’ve got these green satin lounging pajamas that have to be shown off. I’ll mosey down to Skerri’s for the evening’s festivities…
Local drunks congregate at nearby watering hole.
Governor calls out militia to quell rebellion.
pllnr scandal rocks local red light district.
Doperville Gazette Special Supplement.
Chronic PJ Shortage: What you can do to help.
Hey, thanks. I made them myself because I’m avoiding Knyckers’s place due to the libel suit against pllnr. (She is entangled in the whole mess, you remember.)
I think I’m ready for my second, if you would, ma’am. I just have to be careful not to give away any quiz answers or crossword puzzle clues…
Who said I’d be modeling any shorts??? It’s true I may be trusting but I know a lech when I see one. However, if Ruewould wear a ** skirt **I might reconsider.
However, I will deliver your package since Rival Town doesn’t seem to have a post office. Maybe I could open one there if my application here falls through. Or maybe I’ll open a delivery service! Oh, so many things to think about!
Oh, and Swampbear…um…I was hoping you were the big, hairy one. 
This is getting interesting…
anya marie, as of tomorrow morning you will be doing the AM drive show. I like your style, young lady, and your musical tastes are impeccable. We’ll show those NPR geeks a thing or two when the ratings come out. 
Oh yes, and after your shift, why don’t you run by the town hall and see if you can make…uh…friends, yeah, that’s the right word…with the town manager? Maybe he can tell you a thing or two about his uncharacteristic silence the past 12 hours.
widdershins, are you still happy with the overnight shift, or would you like to move up to afternoons?
Hey, I’ve decided I will open a delivery service since I’m a little peeved at Rue’s lax ways (not to mention the way he keeps staring at me.) So I’ve got me a little place just off of Main Street, a ten-speed bike and a Radio Flyer. So remember my slogan, “When you really, truely want it to get there, trust Tikki!”
I am also announcing my junk mail pick-up service 4 times a week. North side of town on Mondays, East on Wednesdays, South on Thursdays, and West on Saturdays. Just place your junk mail in a bag and leave it on your porch or hanging from the flag of your mailbox.
By the way, Plnnr when you have a moment between extortions, could you please look over my proposal for my 30-foot-high junk mail forest out on Lake Dope. I’m really anxious to start work on it.
I think my critter training skills might be of use to a certain Cougarfang. It’s just a suggestion.