“It’s aces, I think one of the karaoke groupies must’ve driven me home. Poor kid, she didn’t look much older than a college baby. At least, I hope she was old enough to be in college.”
Ugh. Head pounding, mouth dry, eyes blurry. Must be morning.
“Hey Sue, ya got any aspirin behind that bar? I haven’t seen that big gorilla you call a bouncer around, lately. If any of these punks in the lunch crowd give you the business, come send 'em over here. I’ll tap 'em one on the chin. And don’t let 'em get fresh with you, baby. You’re better than that.”
I am the likeable high school science teacher. I have won the state’s Teacher of the Year award 3 years running because I teach science so it is FUN! I am the wrestling coach and I tutor the Jocks so even they get good grades. All the girls who take my class have a crush on me and the football players think I am COOL. I live in the loft above Coldfire’s bar and date the very sexy high school nurse. I padded the floor as to not disturb the bar that often. I don’t talk about my past and when it comes up I quckly change the subject. I respect Baloo for his attempts. Nobody know where I come from but everybody likes me they just think there is something odd about me.
I just wanted to drop off some potato salad for the picnic. Don’t worry, it’s only been sitting in the summer sun for a couple of hours. Should be just fine!
BTW, I’m looking for a golf pro for the golf course. Doesn’t pay much but I’ll pick up your tab at the bar once a week. After attempting to give lessons to BratMan007, Odieman, ChiefScott and Mullinator, you’re going to need a few drinks. (Guys, that means you’re allowed on the course, but ONLY for lessons with a trained professional).
In my time off from the rigorous NBA schedule I play a lot of golf. As a result, the wildlife population of our fair burg seems to be rapidly diminishing. If anyone wants to be a bird watcher I suggest taking up another hobby.
Did I also mention that I own the local gym: Mikey’s health & fitness center. But it’s not a good place to meet me. When I go there i’m not there to make friends, i’m in my focused workout mode. I suggest ALL YOU GUYS FROM THE BAR LAST NIGHT come to my new gym and burn off all those “Guinness beer calories.” C’mon over! I’m waiving the initiation fee and membership fees for the dopers, the first 6 months are free!
As the strains of “Good Old Summertime” are carried away by the breeze, the Dopeville Men’s Chorus assembles around the town’s Acknowledged Beauty for “The Girl On The Magazine Cover” from “Easter Parade.”
* The girl I love
Is on a magazine cover
It seems they painted her
Just for me.
I’d fall in love
If I could ever discover
A little girl quite as nice as she
If I could meet
A girl as sweet
I’d simply claim her
And name her my queen.
For if she ever came
I would love her the same
As I love her on the cover
Of a magazine.
I’m the quiet, young lady that people see around town but nobody actually notices. No one is quite sure who I am or what I do.
I work in the Doperville City Hall, invisibly keeping things running and spend my nights in a shadowy corner table at Coldfire’s bar, trying to work up the courage to audition for Shayna’s group.
Chrisbar
OK, the Dopeville Volunteer Fire Department Band is tuning up in the gazebo, the day is cooling off and everyone is gathering in the park for our first annual picnic. Everyone pick up your sheet music and join me in the Dopeville Town Song, with apologies to Comden and Green
In Dopeville by the sea,
Where love and laughter live eternally!
In Dopeville by the hill,
Where gondolas go gliding by the mill!
Tropical nights—Festival lights!
Strudel for two at the midnight bullfights!
In Dopeville, lovely Dopeville,
Where the flying fishes play!
Where the schnitzel is high as an elephant’s eye
And the skies are not cloudy all day!
Come to Dopeville with me, Liebchen!
By the sea—
Olé!
In Dopeville by the sea,
Where all the world’s in love with gay Parée!
In Dopeville on the shore,
Where Geisha girls keep coming back for more!
We’ll live in style,
Gold by the pile—
Goulash for two as we barge down the Nile!
In Dopeville, lovely Dopeville,
Where the corn and 'taters grow!
In our sweet home sweet home all the roads lead to Rome,
So my darling, lets hurry and go!
Come to Dopeville with me,Liebchen!
By the sea—
O-lé!
Following an undercover investigation, we have learneed that Coldfire’s has been peeling the labels off the liquor and beer bottles it sold during its grand opening and is glueing them on cheep swill imported from Tiwan but still charging top shelf prices.
Following an undercover investigation, we have learneed that Coldfire’s has been peeling the labels off the liquor and beer bottles it sold during its grand opening and is glueing them on cheep swill imported from Tiwan but still charging top shelf prices.
Muttering “damn golfers…more like damn bird-killers” under her breath, the sweet old birdwatching lady makes her irritable way out of the bar, sans absinthe.
This has made her not only pissy, but also in the mood to cook. She stops at the bait-shop on the way home.
“Mojo, I need some nice, fat nightcrawlers. Maybe some crickets. <those will go nicely in the “macadamia” raisin cookies for the picnic> Do you have any blue quill duns - I’m thinking of flyfishing.”
I don’t talk about my past and when it comes up I quckly change the subject. I respect Baloo for his attempts. Nobody know where I come from but everybody likes me they just think there is something odd about me.