I thought we got a free continental breakfast after 1000 posts? [sub]Still waiting on mine…[/sub] 
We do but it’s based on GMT.
I don’t want a masseuse. I want a masseur. And I want him to be 22, with dark hair, strong forearms and hands, clean-shaven, tanned . . .
what were we talking about?
Ok, address please?
See, after a mere 5 posts you’ve already had your first whoosh! Is this place great of what?
Re: The breakfasts. My masseuse serves them to me. You guys not getting this kind of treatment?
Sorry, you’ll have settle for a Dutch guy named Coldfire. (His hands are gentle yet oh so rough.)
You are SO gonna get a clog up the butt for that…
Sorry, that perk doesn’t happen until your 5000th post.
Also known as the “deluxe” package…
<Kirk>Binarydrooooooooonnnnnnnnne!</Kirk>
<Nelson>Ha Ha!</Nelson>
Don’t mislead the poor kid, you can only say fuck in this forum.
I hesitate if I would tell this to an innocent newbie…
Oh well… It shall be discovered anyway before his free month is over.
P_T…
There is currently no other US based message board where you can admire the shining presence of this brilliant red star.
I know it shall take a while for you to overcome the shock, yet as you can witness yourself, all the others have and remained alive.
Salaam. A
Incorrect.
Well, you see if you didn’t take advantage of the offer between post 1,000 and post 2,000 you lose that Straight Dope benefit, however, you are still eligible to be slathered down with lard by an old hairy Armenian (I’m told she’s a very nice person).
A masseuse? A continental breakfast? I’ve not seen either.
Maybe the masseuse skipped town with my breakfast. The bastard!
It’s worth the bucks just to occasionally watch Lynn Bodoni (She Who Must Not Be Fucked With) do the lockdown boogie all over some poor sod who didn’t read the rules.
All I know is, that when I reached 2000 posts, burly men bearing beer and cookies appeared at my front door for a two week bacchanal. I just now am able to walk again. Oh, and my breakfast was a hot breakfast buffet with a chef who made belgian waffles to order. So there! 
Welcome P_T_. You are being drawn into an addiction that will permeate every fiber of your being. You will writhe in agony whenever you can’t get your “Dope Fix” on time. MWWWWWWWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Another victim for you Mistress Lynn Bodoni.
Oh, I almost forgot. FUCK!
The blowjobs are great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great.
1, 2, 3, 4, 5…
Blowjobs.
Didn’t Handy get “the boot” shortly after 15,000? :dubious: