Welcome to the Effin' Board?

Ms.Crick just related to me this evening that she finally made a post on this board a few days ago. Thinkin’ she was about to regale me with an amusing tale of vivisecting some fool over in GD (skewering imbeciles being one of her more refined talents), I made the mistake of asking fer details.

Seems she just decided to share a light-hearted anecdote (told on me, no less), and, to hear her tell it, she was immediately called-out and accused of bein’ a ‘schizo’.

I’ve just gone back and read through the alleged offense (in MPSIMS, ‘What’s the strangest thing that’s happened to you in the last year?’), and it looks to me like Mr. Coldfire had his tongue in his cheek. Ms.Crick, on the other hand, is having nothing of that thought of mine.

I know ye’ve all seen some odd shit on this board of late, but how about a little civility fer a known quantity? What in the sweet screw do ye figure might be ‘schizo’ about the other half of the equation (patiently explained any number of times here) finally chimin’ in?

Get yer finger off yer bleedin’ hair trigger there Coldfire. (And it might do ye all well to be nice to the lady should she decide to return. She’s got enough degrees to wallpaper a small room.)
Dr. Watson
“Unconvinced, but gallantly defensive.”

Sorry to hear that, Crick.
Coldfire is usually a pretty cool dude. I didn’t respond to that thread because it looked to nice, and I didn’t want to offend anyone with some of the twisted things that have happened to me over the past year.
After reading the thread, it didn’t seem that it would fit.
Anyway, I’m sure your lovely wife kicks much ass, figuratively speaking. And that in the future things will go smoother.

how did it start? well i don’t know i just feel the craving. i see the flesh and it smells fresh and it’s just there for the taking…

Oh dear - have you tried explaining to her about Phaedrus and his multiple identities? Coldfire didn’t mean anything by it, honest.

Tell her it was a good story and some of us read this stuff without commenting, just because we have nothing clever to say at the moment, but it doesn’t mean we didn’t enjoy it.

Oh - but this is the Pit. Tell the ratbag to piss off.


You are right, your wife is mistaken. To quote myself, from that very thread:

I thought the smiley would have been enough of a giveaway to tell ANYONE who read that response that my tongue was planted firmly in my cheek. But, to emphasize, YES it was a joke, referring to the inferno of multiple usernames that we have been experiencing the last few months.

Had I seen the explanation of your username somewhere, the joke would not have been made - obviously.

I really enjoy your posts, and I think the story your wife related was a hoot. But if she reacts to the quoted joke in a manner like you described, I think it is pretty obvious just who has got a hair trigger here - with slightly more than one finger on it.

As for degrees, however irrelevant, I’m sure I could match those. What’s your point in mentioning that here?

And why doesn’t your wife adress me directly?

Anyway, the case is settled as far as I’m concerned - it was a joke, no harm intended. If harm was inflicted, I can hardly be blamed, IMHO.

But then again, neither can a person be blamed for having a poor sense of humour.



"You know how complex women are"

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)

This is not directly in response to the OP, just to a lot of this going on on the board.
So, just for the hell of it, how many degrees would it take to wallpaper a small room? My biggest degree is about 2 feet by 18 inches. If the small room is 8 feet long and 7.5 feet high, I would need twenty degrees of that size to cover just one wall (correct me if the math is wrong–no degree in that!).

I know lots and lots of people with multiple degrees. I myself have a BA (double major in non-eat fields), an MPS, and an MAT. I’m also ordering a lovely fake Doctorate in Divinity. But unless any of those degrees relate DIRECTLY to what we’re talking about (and sometimes even if they do), I generally have to say

WHO THE FUCK CARES? (Okay, my gramma is proud of me.) This is just the old appeal to authority fallacy–I know, because it’s one of the things I wrote about in my graduate thesis, so that proves that I know more than you!



Oh, well. We can always make more killbots.

While the appeal to authority is a logical fallacy and a reference to oneself as having acquired multiple degrees is vainglorious puffoonery (I have 360 degrees–every time I look at my compass on a hike), I think that it is generally acceptable to boast about the prowess and accomplishments of one’s mate.

That said, Watson, I hope Crick can re-read the thread with her humor turned on. Coldfire’s post didn’t look like anything but good-humored, gentle, leg-pulling to me. She tells a good story; I hope she sticks around. If she needs to find out what snide savagery looks like on this MB, have her do a search for NewtonsApple or his current apparition.


Perhaps your wife should get her own identity instead of poaching yours? If she’s posting under her own name (say, Watson&Crick) then everyone would know there are two different people. JMO.

Just for the record, Ms.Crick and I are not married, nor do we live together (one divorce is enough fer this lifetime, and my kids keep the house well defended against intruders). We share a screen name out of convenience, and because we thought the coincidence of the names was too humorous to ignore.

Obviously the ‘Unconvinced but defensive’ bit earned me a cuff on the head, but as I said, I wasn’t convinced there was any slur intended. I think she was misinterpreting, and I’m sure that after reading all of yer responses she’ll come around. But, as is so often observed, “You know how complex women are,” so I’ll let her speak fer herself on that. But I’d scarcely qualify fer ‘White Knight’ status if I didn’t at least pretend some irritation on her behalf, and I honestly do think that folks have a tendency to fire before they see the whites of the enemies eyes around here.

As to the mention of her academics, certainly her credentials in the humor department could use some polishing, but I thought it might encourage folks to see a new member who could actually help out rather than just adding to the already groanin’ weight of the moron population around here.
Dr. Watson
“Just doin’ my duty.”

Well Watson-
Tell Crick we appreciate her comments and no harm was intended. Hopefully she will come back so we can all enjoy her company as you do.


“Mother Mercy, can your loins bear fruit forever?/Is your fecundity a trammel or a treasure?”
-Bad Religion

OK mate. Flame forgotten :smiley:


"You know how complex women are"

  • Neil Peart, Rush (1993)