Welcome to the land of Hyperbole!

You all know me well by now. You should know that I have over 50 years of electronic message board experience. I have posted to over 65,000 different message boards, in 96 different languages, all of which I am fluent in.

For those of you who don’t know me, I have the looks of Adonis, the brains of Cecil Adams, and more money than Bill Gates. I can walk on water when necessary.

This thread, along with hundreds of thousands of others that I have started, is the very most pointless rambling to ever cross the boards. Why, I don’t think that it could be bested in 500 years.

And now, I shall set this garganutan story to rest. 5000 words is enough for anyone.

We are not worthy.

::::humbly bows and takes his leave:::::: Milord

Correction…

He is not worthy.

I just don’t care… :wink:

Whoops, looks like I posted the OP under my sockpuppet name.

Well, after cruising the 10 seas for more than 15 years I shall be welcomed by 1,000 naked willing woman upon my return to my beloved United States (When T. Jefferson and I wrote the Contitution, little did we know it would last for more than 400 years!).
Ah, like a field of wild flowers their eager young faces await me. And as I make love to the first ten within 16 second of debarking, the remainders’ lamentations rise to the sky like a million banshees as they each await their appointed turn.

(Your thread (and OP) should called Land of the Exaggeration vs. Hyperbole, both my baseball bat-sized dick and I believe.)

snort

snicker

bites lip to keep laughter in

fails BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for the best laugh I’ve had in a week, Chief. And that’s no exaggeration. :wink:

After the amount of time Chief has spent on that little barge, I kinda think he may have reached a sufficient delusional state to actually believe what he wrote.

You don’t believe li’l ol’ me? Bats eye lashes

BTW, Mully what are the posted odds of my getting laid in Norfolk now?

Batting your eyelashes? Is that like licking your eyebrows? (wait for it…)

This is unquestionably the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

snickering

No no no. Batting eyelashes is MY job around here. Not yours, Chief.

And FTR? NO, I don’t believe you.

Pooterhead.

Odds of Chief getting laid in Norfolk if:
he is greeted by 1,000 naked willing women - 1 to 1000
he is greeted by a commanding officer - 250 to 1
he is greeted by no one, but has an extra $50 he found in his foot locker - 20 to 1
he stops at the supermarket on his way home - 2 to 1. It’s tough to pass up a sailor fondling the produce.
he drives straight home to the newest copy of the JC Penney catalog sitting in his mailbox - Even money.

MPSIMS is definitely the right board for this thread.

Uhh, Chief, I think that the official SDMB designation is “putz”. Abbreviated :wally.

Chief expounds:

and:

Oh, the imagery! Oh, the responses!
A) Careful, Chief, you’ll put your eye out with that thing.
B) Headline: Former Italian Toilet Stomper Finds Novel Way to Self-Inflict Black Eye
C) Wow! Playing with that really could make you go blind!

I’m sure 10 in 16 seconds would debark just about anything.