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All good advice. The problem is that a lot of the clutter in the garage is heavy, and I am now officially an Old Fart. For instance, know what that precariously poised garbage bin ready to fall on my car is sitting on? It’s sitting on the rear bench seat of a long-dead Dodge Caravan minivan. Why do I have it? Because the Caravan died before I had a chance to put it back. It is of course of no earthly use to anyone, but there it sits.
In happier, younger days I could summon a dumpster and throw all that shit into it, as I did in my former house. But today I would have to summon both a dumpster and muscular Burly Men to lift things that I can no longer lift. Eventually it just becomes easier to ignore the problem and concentrate on Caesar recipes, vodka martinis, and rum.
In the USA we have services like 800-got-junk.
One call and they will drain your garage back to the studs while you watch or just make a pitcher of caesars.
Hey, we Canucks aren’t primitives! We got this here stuff in Canickistan, too! I’m just too damn cheap to pay for it until – like everything else in my life that I don’t wanna do – it becomes an urgent necessity.
Your Ukrainian handymen might be able to give you a deal, on account of you’re such a good customer.
Oh, thank goodness! I was afraid you’d run out of rum again!!!
Oh, I expected you have similar. But I didn’t want to post a url or whatever for some outfit you couldn’t use.
As I think I mentioned elsewhere, my Ukrainian handymen are increasingly focused on major renovation rather than handyman work so they’re becoming more exclusive and expensive – the Rolls-Royce of handymen, so to speak.
The last time I needed them it was to replace three smoke detectors and three light bulbs, which I would normally easily do myself except I dare not get up on a ladder any more. They sent a flunky to do the work, which he accomplished in about 20 minutes, and for which they charged me an amount that I don’t exactly remember but something like $250. When I expressed surprise at the amount, the Ukrainian brothers pointed out that he was an experienced licensed electrician and that’s what he gets paid. So that’s what my Ukrainian handymen have become – they’ll happily change a light bulb for me, but send out a professional electrician to do it and charge me accordingly.
The ready availability of unlicensed immigrants to do work for third world wages here in first world countries has sure been a blessing for us. If not always for them.
This isn’t the leopard eating thread, but there’s an obvious connection.
Actually, it is. I worked in that world for a while.
If in your home country you’re considered rich if you earn $3 / day & you come to US where you earn (for us) a paltry minimum wage & you can manage to save & send home just $1/hr your family lives like kings. The downside is you don’t live with your spouse & you don’t get to see your kids grow up & those trips back home are few & far between because a couple hundred dollars in travel cost is exorbitantly expensive when you’re only making minimum wage.
Unofficial Last Words: “Kevin…!”
Oh, look! An earthquake in the Caucasian Hood Mountains…
