A lot of you have probably seen me in some threads talking about I’m 20 and not moved out and not sure if I was ready, problems with my anxiety, etc. Well, I graduated last month (never left home for school) and found a job a few days later. I finished moving stuff on Sunday and started work yesterday. My parents left on Monday back home which is 80 minutes away.
Work is okay. I have all the usual stresses of a new job and trying to learn it, wondering if I’m doing good enough, realizing this is the big time and I can’t blow it, all that stuff. My coworkers are all really nice and less than ten years older than me. We all share a room, which is good, because I have lots of questions and most of my socialization comes from them right now.
I am feeling pretty lonely and homesick right now though. I’m not sure if all my stuff from home is helping me with it or making me sadder. Most of the advice about homesickness is geared towards college kids, most of whom live in dorms and an environment conducive towards making friends. Plus if you get really upset, you can skip one class to call Mom. Ain’t so easy at a full-time job. And the whole anxiety disorder isn’t helping. The last time I got cut off from people I went nutters, and I hope it doesn’t happen this time. I have one friend here right now (the rest some back to school in the fall) so I can call her, but I don’t want to impose and/or become dependent.
So, uh, yeah. Doper hugs and support? Advice? What did you all do to stave off the loneliness and homesickness?
it’s normal to feel homesick the first time you’re out on your own. You’re close enough to “bring laundry home on weekends” - a staple for young 20 somethings who’ve moved away but are still within spitting distance of mom and dad. Heck, I did it for 6 years until I moved into a place with a washer and dryer. And you can bring Sunday dinner leftovers back to make a lunch or two out of.
You’ll get used to the lack of family noises; in the meantime, call your folks just to say “hi” once to twice a week.
(all this is of course assuming you have a decent to good relationship with the 'rents)
laughs I’m really close to my parents, which exacerbates the problem. I’ve been talking to them around 3 times a day now, which seems really pitiful. Once as a backup to the alarm clock in the morning, once when I get home from work, and maybe once more before bed. Shush, I never had that going to camp time where I defeated separation anxiety! This is one of the problems - never learning to let go.
And yes, the laundromat/restaurant/bank of Mom is open on the weekend, trust me!
Well, calling them 3 times a day isn’t any good. Slowly wean that down?
A buddy of mine got a job in Maryland selling Mercedes-Benzes. He calls home at least once a day, usually on his ride home to work. I’m opposed to the idea for three reasons: 1) cut the cord, dude, 2)you’re calling when you’re driving home? Are you 7 different kinds of stupid?, and 3) you may not have a lot of people out in the area now, but you DID move ther with your live-in girlfriend.
I agree - 3 times a day is a bit much - but it’s only your first week. Try once a day for starters, then every other day, then twice a week, then just on Saturdays to let them know you’re on your way to their house, and can you pick up anything along the way. They’ll appreciate that, even if they say no thanks.
I also think that as you get more accustomed to your work duties, and as you build more friendships in and out of the office, you’ll find you have less and less time to call the folks.
as for getting a cat, check with your landlord first, but furry friends do wonders for homesickness.
I think it’s great that you had the kind of relationship with your parents that makes you miss them. It’ll take some getting used to, and there’s no shame in cutting the cord in increments instead of all at once.
Have you thought about inviting co-workers over for beer and board games?