Well, at least I am not Nedra Sanders Evans Clark Broccoli . . .

I was paging through my bound editions of Variety Obits (in my gracious library, wearing a smoking jacket, as my butler, Tibbles, brought me some digestive biscuits and port), when I came across the horrible story of Nedra Sanders Evans Clark Broccoli. If one believes in karma, she must have been murderin’ Kate Bender in a previous life:

Jiminy Crickets.

Eve:

I remember reading this and thinking ala Thelma Ritter - “that’s got everything but the bloodhounds nippin’ at her…uh” Poor thing - it really was tragic.

UT

There are some human experiences, UntouchedTakeaway, that do not take place in a vaudeville house - and that even a fifth-rate vaudevillian should understand and respect!

Unbelievable. I am really surprised that she apparently managed to stay sane through all that.
If it’s any consolation, it appears that her adopted son Tony and daughter Tina are still alive. Thank Goodness. I was kind of expecting that they too would have died horribly after all that other stuff.

If Nedra had lived, they would be dead. It’s a mathematical thing.

I’m relieved to see that I’m not the only Doper who reads obituaries.

I check out the birthdates of folks who died at 99, to see how close they made it to their 100th. One time I saw a guy who died TWO DAYS before his 100th. The obituary was a standard one, except for the last line, which made it immortal, to me anyway.

“The party scheduled for his 100th birthday will go on as scheduled.”

And although I never read it myself there is always Tom Lehrer’s mention of Alma.

“Last December there appeared in the newspaper the juiciest, spiciest, raciest obituary it has ever been my pleasure to read.”

Seriously. I’ve been giving serious thought to never leaving my apartment again and I’ve never been stabbed, lost any children or parents or husbands.

If i may, “Didn’t have the looks of…Bing Crosby?” Really? I just looked at tons of images of both men. I’d consider them more or less equally matched in terms of looks.

In another thread there was a discussion of Sarah Knauss, the person with the second longest documented life ever, and the longest-lived American. She was born in 1880, and died on December 30, 1999. All I could think was, “What, you couldn’t wait two more days so that you could actually see the turn of the millenium and be alive in three different centuries (as measured by the actual numbers: 1800’s, 1900’s, 2000’s)?”

As soon as I saw the thread title, I thought, “She must have been married to Albert Broccoli.” What a tragic life.

Hmmm, I wonder if they have any papers or letters? Might be a book in this:

The Nedra Sanders Evans Clark Broccoli Story: Oh, Come On, Already!

or

The Life of Nedra Sanders Evans Clark Broccoli: Oh, Fer Chrissakes!

No shit … talk about not being able to catch a fucking break:eek:

The Nedra Sanders Evans Clark Broccoli Family: Another One Bites the Dust

Eve:

I’m sorry if I came across as crass there - it was not my intention. As I also said, I really do think it was tragic.

I suck.

Very truly yours,

UT

No, no–I was quoting Bette Davis right back at your Thelma Ritter!

Her story reminds me of that of Kirby Kyle, the baseball player in Woody Allen’s Radio Days. Unlike Monty Stratton, who lost only part of a leg,

What sadness she had to endure in her short life. It seems she had some happiness though, as evidenced by her smile in the last pic.

I always thought the name Albert Broccoli was made up. Who could possibly have a vegetable for a last name?

We actually had a thread about just that question: http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=557397

I got to know some of the Broccoli family when I would pick up and drop off legal documents relating to James Bond back when I worked for the studio.
Their offices are/were very low key - modern, sleek but small and everyone who worked there was friendly and very down-to-earth, unlike some of the other smaller production companies I had to deal with.
Then again, they pretty much lived off that franchise and were very, very protective of every facet of it. They know they have a franchise that is a gold mine and don’t need to do anything else than come out with a new Bond film every couple of years.
Be sure to catch the newest Bond film, “Skyfall”, when it opens in November!

Thanks Eve.

I used to feel sorry for myself. Now I feel sorry myself and guilty.
Thanks a lot.

Yes I’m happy to report that my sister Tina and I are very much alive!

My heart fluttered seeing this zombie thread, there on the front page! My first thought: “Is Eve returned? Please, please, please be so!!!”

Alas, it is not so.