Without getting into too much detail about the MeanOldFamily, my cousin is a deadbeat. She has a deadbeat boyfriend, and they do deadbeat things, none of which involve raising their two children. Instead, my aunt (deadbeat cousin’s mother) has been raising them. Said aunt is between 70 and 75 years old, and the boys are 5 and 7. Not to be morbid, but the kids are very young, the aunt is fairly old, and, well, you get the picture. Plus it just ain’t right for her to have to be wrasslin’ around with a set of rambunctious little boys.
Cut to yesterday: I’m talking to my sister on the telephone, and then she announces she is in the process of trying to adopt the two boys. She’s not married, which is apparently a problem for some folks, but would make a great adopter, I believe. She’s 30 years old, and school teacher who inherited the patience gene that apparently eluded me. I immediately had about a gazillion questions.
My first and extraordinarily broad question was, “How are you going to do this?” She said, “The same way every other single parent on earth does it.” Oh. And then, “Well how do they do it?”
Apparently, I’d never given this much thought. Then came the blizzard of questions.
How will you date? Are you done with men forever?
Are you going to buy a house?
Are they going to call you mom?
What happens to your social life?
How does one go about finding baby sitters?
Are you going to trade in your car for a station wagon?
Do they get spanked if they’re out of line?
What happens if they have a non-holiday day off from school?
How do you respond to “Where’s Daddy?” questions?
Tell me! Tell me! Tell me! I had about 10,000 logistical questions, and the whole thing still seems baffling to me even though the woman is organized and is already getting all motherly on us. She’s looking into a home in a good school district, and recently purchased a lockable liquor cabinet. I guess I’ve just been on planet Mars, and am completely clueless about how working single parents manage this.
So, what’s the routine? Drive the kids to school, then go to work? Make the kids take the bus? Take a day off from work when they’re not at school? Drop them off with the grandparents? Are these challenges significantly different for singles, considering many households now consist of two working parents?
I suppose this post is rambling and disjointed, but if anyone can figure out a way to respond to the gist of my confusion, that would be great.