Mr. Rilch is a movie electrician, and recently got hired on a movie that will be shooting on location back east. He had an estimated departure time of early July, or so we thought. Yesterday we found out the start date had been moved up a bit. No problem, and then he got a call today to help with the load-in on Monday. Sure, he says.
North Carolina?
He has to be in North Carolina on Monday?
:eek::smack:(
But I keep telling myself, it’ll only be a little over three months, he intends to come back, and barring way-out circumstances, he will come back. There are many people who can’t say that, because the people they’re saying goodbye to are going on active duty. I can deal with this.
My Aunt Vicky is from a fishing village; when Uncle JM, a merchant captain, asked her to marry him, her answer was “the sea is a jealous woman, and she’s already taken a brother and two uncles from me. So if you want me, you have to stop seeing her.” He moved to inland jobs.
She tells how women in the village would have their routine, their hours, their entertainment… and then there would be times when a friend would call and the answer would be “can’t, I’ve got husband.” When your man’s job requires him to be away for 9-month stretches, the times he’s in mean having a completely different routine. Suddenly, expenses have to be negotiated, there is someone else disciplining the kids, you’re not the only one shouldering everything but also not the only one making decisions.
You’re in the opposite situation, you’re used to having Mr Rilch at home and now he won’t be. The next three months are going to be different. But I think it can make your relationship grow, too, and that different isn’t either always bad or always good, it’s what you make of it. Good luck!
Eh, we’ve done this before. Lack of physical contact is the only thing that really can’t be compensated for (and we don’t cyber- or phone-sex; just not comfortable with it). Also, we have a roommate now (female), so I won’t be totally alone.
It’s just the abruptness. We can’t do any “one last” things we were planning on. In fact, I might not even be home when he leaves; I have a cleaning gig during his ETD, and who knows how long it will last or how long he can stall. And I have to worry about him being safe on the road during what will basically be a hellride.
I’m sure I’ll be okay when it all settles down. And it’s times like these I thank Og we don’t have kids.
You can deal with it, and you will. It’ll be easier at times than others.
To be honest, sometimes I find when my husband is away on business, it’s quite good for me to have some ‘me time’. We often get so busy in our daily lives and when our usual schedule gets disrupted, it can be an opportunity to reflect and think and maybe move things in a slightly different direction. My husband has often come home to me saying, ‘I’ve decided to take a night class’ or something like that.
You’ll get used to it, if only because you don’t have a choice. My partner interviewed for a job on Thursday last week, was successful and started on Monday just gone. The job is in a different country so we were quite abruptly separated at the weekend. Still, we’re in contact by phone and email so it’s not like we are completely cut off, and we can plan all sorts of things to do when he is home again. It’s not the end of the world, just a temporary bip.
When Mr.Moon and I were traveling on business we thought that the person away would have the hardest time. After all you’re away from everything comfortable and normal in your life in addition to being alone. What we found in reality was it was way more difficult to be the one at home. When you’re away working everything is different so being alone isn’t quite as hard. When you’re the one left behind you keep expecting your other half to be there or to walk in the door, and the bed is awfully empty.
Okay, it’s starting to come together. He’s mostly packed; we’ve arranged for bill-paying issues; he’s coordinated (and financed) for the road trip. He’ll leave tomorow afternoon. I’ll be okay as soon as I hear that he’s safe and sound at the location (not the load-in site). It’s the highway driving on such a tight schedule that I’m worried about. But on the bright side, he won’t have to deal with July 4th traffic! (Which he would have, on the old schedule.)
Just saw him drive off. Oh yeah: he had to push back another half-day. He says without my help, he wouldn’t have gotten out of here until this afternoon. Now I just have to worry about him being safe on the road. When I hear from him that he’s gotten to the location (not just the load-in) I can breathe easy.
Also, I may be getting the better end of the deal here. He’ll be without my scalp massages and foot rubs for three months; meanwhile, I will not have to pick up his dirty underwear.
Charlotte. But that’s just for the load-in. Tomorrow the crew will drive up to Pittsburgh. (I don’t get it either–are there no rental houses closer?) I will definitely fly out at the end, and drive back with him. Hopefully squeeze in a visit before then, too.
:eek::smack:
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