Well, middle class was fun.

Two years ago, everything was fine and dandy. Husband and I bought our first house, we both had decent jobs, life was peachy.

One year ago, husband started having major panic attacks whenever he left the house, resulting in the loss of his job. He’s a bit better now, but he still hasn’t been able to find a new job; they’re scarce in our area, and he’s limited by the fact that he’s in his 50s (he’s 18 years older than me) and in poor health.

We managed to dance on quicksand and hang on for the last year, but it’s time to sink. We’re filing for chapter 7 bankruptcy, but we still have a ton of hoops to jump through and the lawyer won’t file the papers until we pay him completely off - a matter of another $1100 or so. Meanwhile we’re being foreclosed on, the deed of trust sale is scheduled for the 9th, and we have nowhere to go and no money to get there. The only bright spot is I know we won’t be living in our car, because we’re losing that too.

We’re applying for public housing, which should make for some fun and awkward moments when the crack-addled spouse-beating drug-dealing stereo-thumping drunk-in-public neighbors find out I’m a police dispatcher. I’m hoping against hope public housing lets me keep my cats.

The only thing that’s keeping me going at this point is the cherished belief that, like the massive intestinal back-up caused by gorging on triple-cheese pizza and beer, this too shall pass. We’ve made some mistakes and we’ve had some bad luck, but I’ll be godsdamned if I don’t find some way to get us all through it.

sigh Just needed to vent a little…

Hang in there, **Malitharn. ** Vent all you like; we’ve got big shoulders here at the Dope.

Damn. Vent away. I’m sorry this is happening to you.

So sorry to hear this. Please do vent and keep us updated on your situation.


I am very sorry to hear that. How awful to spend a lifetime building a life only to have it crash around you.

Vent away; life is tough and it sometimes only gets tougher.

My husband and I have survived a bankruptcy, and the world didn’t end. I didn’t think life would turn out the way it has for us, either (let’s just say I’m not living in the house I thought I’d be living in at this age). But it could be worse. Hang on to each other; make it through.

I’m so sorry. Keep hanging in there and vent to your heart’s desire. The Dope is always good for a catharsis.

On another note though, I’m not sure where you live, but something you might consider versus living in public housing is finding a way to procur a travel trailer. If you live in one of those (mine is a '79, but was really nice back in the day), it can pretty much accomodate all modern conveniences and you won’t get charged any taxes for it as a homestead. At least, that’s how it is here in Texas. Also, it’s a much cheaper way to go than anything else I’ve ever done before (like in a garage apartment) or since (with a roommate).

Oh, and there’s seems (to me anyway) a huge freedome in hitting absolute rock bottom. After I went through bankruptcy, there’s no where to go but up and I don’t have to worry about anything damaging my credit. And I was anal about it before, so one less thing to stress over has been an immense improvement.

Best wishes and hugs.

I know he has commitments etc, but I still think your lawyer could be a bit more understanding and allow some options for payment.

Cicero apparently lives in a world of candy trees and marmalade skies; where all women are gorgeous and put out on the first date; cats live with dogs; and where everyone rightfully trusts used car salesmen.

Quite the contrary. I cannot understand the need for the sarcastic undertones.

Vent away. That’s what we’re here for.

I’m sorry that this is happening; I know it’s hard to keep it together sometimes. I know a few people for whom bankruptcy has been a good thing.

Been to the brink of all that myself, Marlitharn. The pain you are going through is probably pretty intense for you.

As someone who has walked in your shoes a bit, I will offer you the one thing that no one seemed to be willing to offer me at the time (although I would have given my last nickel just to hear the words): It will get better eventually. Hang in there & just keep moving forward a bit each day.

To some those words will seem trite. Hope is invaluable, though, and it costs so little for someone to at least offer it.

Be well. Come back as often as you can. You are among friends.

Sorry to hear your news! Sending supporting thoughts your way.

(My last day of work is a week from today - then I’ll be looking for a job! [OK, I’ve already been looking, but then I’ll be needing to find a job])

He’s a bankruptcy lawyer. One would think a little flexibility in the billing department would be de rigeur for this sort of thing.

[[[Marlitharn]]] (yes, I give square hugs).

You may not see the light at the end of the tunnel yet, but it’s there. Good luck.

Jeez, this is my nightmare.

Been there,

It sucks.

It sucks hard.

Remember though…

You are not a failure. You are not a bad person. You are not loser.

You’d think so wouldn’t you. And yet, here we are. The lawyer I used for my bankruptcy years ago wouldn’t do anything without his fees and wouldn’t accept anything less than the full amount - no payment options. As I recall the divorce lawyer I used at that time was the same way.

Umm. No. And if you think about it, I’m sure you’ll see why: 100% of his clients have problems with paying their bills. Why should he assume that the bill for HIS services will be paid any more promptly than the existing debts?

My brother went through a bankruptcy. The lawyer he used not only required that his bill be paid in full before he got to the filing papers part, but he asked for a largish amount (a few hundred dollars) be brought to the first session in cash so at least his time counseling them would be paid for, even if they didn’t decide to go ahead and do the bankruptcy.

I can fully understand why they would or could do this, but it is hardly one size fits all. Being an advocate in bankruptcy would mean you would come across situations where folks have little available cash.

Anyway, sorry to hijack the thread.

When the papers are filed it affects all creditors the debtors owe money.

The lawyer would have to go through the court to get paid.
He could not ask for payment from them.