I was loaded down at Krogers with a basket full of groceries in my left hand and a 18 pack of Bud in my right. Made it all the way to the self check out and hefted the beer to put on the shelf. The whole side ripped out and beer cans went flying everywhere. :eek: There were a few that had rolled six feet away where the attendant was standing. <sigh> I couldn’t just whistle and skulk quietly away. I had to own this mess. All 18 cans worth.
I still had the cardboard handle and a big strip of cardboard in my hand. I showed that to the attendant and explained I hadn’t dropped that beer. The carton ripped away from the handle. Probably because the cooler moistens the cardboard. A 18 pack of Bud in the cans weighs 12 lbs. I always clamp a death grip on those big bastards. 1
I guess I was tonights entertainment. Should have sold tickets and popcorn. Can’t help but shake my head and laugh. Never know what will happen when you get out of bed everyday.
I’m set for beer for a couple weeks. Hopefully there will be a different attendant working the next time I shop.
I usually have one a night after work. If I’m really stressed I’ll have two. I make a 18 pack last a full two weeks. Buy 2 of them a month. Beer can add on the pounds pretty quick so I’ve cut back in my middle age.
As long as none of them fell on a on a protuberance and ripped open on the side it’s not too bad. Gathering closed cans in much less embarrassing than chasing a jet-slit powered rolling can.
I’ve seen cardboard get pretty soft in those coolers. I’d guess the pack I got was already torn and I didn’t notice. 18 cans is a lot in a flimsy cardboard container.
They sell a 30 pack. I don’t buy those. Too much weight and hassle lugging that monster from the back of the store. I don’t need that many at one time anyway.
You’re right. They shouldn’t tear open just carrying by the handle. Two of those cans hit my foot. Didn’t hurt me. But it’s still not a good thing.
They have this newfangled thing called a “cart” that supposedly you can set your purchases in and roll to the checkout and then out to your car, reducing the strain on dampened cardboard…
I suggest getting the 30 pack from now on. The handle on that bad boy is more robust than the 18 packs. It’s reinforced and makes it a bitch to tear into though. Get the 30 pack - it’s better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it. Plus the added bonus of being more economical. Christ, I drink too much.
Just do what my teenaged son did, when the same thing happened to him except with a 2-liter of soda, dropped and exploding… have your mom with you so that you can slink quickly away and leave her standing there looking like she did it.
When I was a kid there was a craze on “throwdowns” which for those not familiar are tiny fireworks each about the size of a big pea which, if you throw them against a hard surface, go bang.
[this story is going to get relevant in a second, I promise ;)]
A bunch of neighbourhood kids pooled their money and gave it to me - because I was the oldest and the quickest on a bike - to go to the local toyshop and buy a heap of throwdowns. The guy in the shop gave me a paper bag to bring them home in.
On the way home there was a catholic church and school. I guess the local priest, one Father Carroll, had been getting harassed by kids with throwdowns all week: he did have a bit of reputation amongst kids at the school as a hardass (I didn’t go to the school).
So as I’m riding past the church the bag rips and about $15 dollars worth of throwdowns hits the road and goes off. BLAAAM! Bearing in mind this is the late seventies, that was approximately one zillion dollars worth, by children’s standards at the time.
Out comes Father Carroll from his residence, and gives me a thorough chewing out complaining about kids harassing him, sick of it, good mind to let the police know what I’d done, yada, yada, yada, assuming I’d done it on purpose.
I was almost in tears knowing that I’d just cost all my friends several weeks’ worth of pocket money and they were going to be mad as hell, and so I let loose at Father Carroll telling him I hadn’t done it on purpose and everyone was going to be mad at me and I hardly even knew who he was. I saw him look at the paper bag and look at my upset face and he knew I was telling the truth but he would also lose face if he admitted it. So he gave me one last telling off before stumping off.
In one trip to the grocery store, I managed to knock over a package of cookies in the bakery, and spill clementines all over the floor at the self checkout. I was tipping the box to find the barcode. I put some of the blame for the clementines on the packaging, but the cookies were all me. Not a good day.
If the store uses a cooler that moistens the packaging to the point of failure, you were robably not the first, not last to discover the miracle of self-opening 18-packs.
I suppose buying (dry) room temp beer and cooling it yourself is out of the question…
It’s clearly a message from God that you should not be buying bud in any quantity. Here’s what you’re going to do. You’re going to repent. Repent hard. And they you’re going to mend your ways, and start buying better beer. Good luck!
Can’t help but shake my head and laugh. Never know what will happen when you get out of bed everyday.
