My mother knocked over a can of black paint that WAS oil based. She immediately ran to get a towel…and wet it with water. Fortunately we stopped her before she could wipe it up. :smack:
My dad had to use gasoline, because turpentine would have wrecked the finish on the floors.
Oh, she doesn’t restrict herself to jars and other containers. Bags with cheese, lunchmeat, tortillas, bread, beans, rice: they’re all fair game, and I can’t count how much of each I’ve had to throw away because it got all dried out and hard from exposure to the air. Luckily for her, she’s the love of my life, and I’ll forgive pretty much anything as long as she deigns to live with me.
Have you ever thought of giving her a Seal-a-Meal for your anniversary? 
If you suspect the top spinner thing on your dishwasher isn’t spinning, DON’T mess with the door-is-closed switch to get the dishwasher to run with the door slightly open. Water went everywhere.
LOL! I love this thread. It’s the kind of stuff you expect to see in a sitcom or SNL skit.
Lady behind me at a steakhouse. She wore a lovely mint green dress.
Me, age 8, shaking a bottle of ketchup.
My parents with a dry cleaning bill.
Same here. Drives me frikkin’ crazy because the chips are always stale, stuff in the fridge dries out, etc. Nothing like grabbing the multivitamin lid and having 500 pills scatter across the kitchen floor and your trying to leave for work.
It’s her only flaw but damn if I can make the least bit of sense of it.
I was a bartender at Houston’s, a medium/upscale restaurant here and there.
Another BT called that he was out of bloody mary mix. I was near the stack of mixers, so I grabbed a new bottle, filled his container and gave it back in seconds. I was in the process of saying “make sure you screw the top on tight.” when he started shaking the hell out of it to mix it up well.:smack:
The crowd was mostly theater patrons, finishing up drinks or dinner and then heading out to the theater. Dressed nicely, you can imagine the screams and rancor that ensued. I don’t think Bob ever spoke to me again.
Yeah, that’s sort of what it feels like when you do something like this stuff. “Okay, where are the cameras?” 
As a young lass I was trying to open a ketchup packet at McDonald’s and having no luck. So I took a much tighter grip on it and tried again. Not quite grasping the physics of packets at that age, I shot the entire packet across the back of the guy’s in the next booth light blue leisure suit. He was not amused.
This thread is like the story of my life. This happens to me so often it’s ridiculous. Oh, I got stir-fry sauce all over the kitchen again…must be Tuesday.
When we got married, my husband owned a powder blue leisure suit - I’ll have to ask him if he was ever assaulted with ketchup! 
My husband never lets me forget about the “bananas in Safeway” incident - I was trying to take some off the bunch, and somehow they went flying across the store. He says it was one of the very few times he’s seen me blush.
He owned a powder blue leisure suit, and still managed to get a wife?
I’m glad some people like this thread. 
Did I ever tell you about the time I almost drowned in a driveway excavation, got fishing lures stuck through my fingers AND finally tried jumping back into that flooded excavation pit later in the day?
I guess my little bottle cap experience pales to all that other kid stuff.
Guess what happens if you have a jacuzzi bathtub & put in enough water to cover the intakes but not the outlets and then turn it on?
Bathrooms are supposed to have water in them, but not that much and not everywhere including the ceiling & light fixtures. Since there are nozzles all around the tub, it fires in a 360 degree pattern of destruction. Bonus points are awarded for artful use of bubble bath soap.
While ironing a few months ago, I accidentally knocked a brand-new aerosol can of spray starch off the ironing board onto the bedroom floor. Unfortunately, it landed smack on the corner of one of my kids’ toys and punctured the can!
Now I know why these cans say “contents under pressure”!! :eek: Spray starch shot out onto the ceiling, curtains, carpet, bedding, my hair, my clothes…although the room smelled laundry fresh for days!
I think chocolate syrup has its’ own special type of molecular property that allows for enormous expansion once released from the bottle. I once dropped an open plastic bottle of syrup on the floor. Not only did syrup splut out the open top, but the bottle split down the side and syrup went everywhere. Not quite as bad as what happened to Red Stilettos mom, but I swear I’m still getting syrup out of the pores in the tile.
I would like to say this is a funny thread, but I can’t imagine this kind of thing (trying vigorously to shake something and have it splatter everywhere) ever happening to me. It never has before, at least. I check prior to shaking, always, and hold lids on firmly if shaking is required. knock on formica
(rachelellogram, psst: remember Karma…)
Hey, I knocked on formica!
I’m sure it’s one of those things that will happen to me someday. Law of averages and all that… hopefully not anytime soon, though. I really don’t cook much so it seems less likely, at least!