Well, trust my doctor to ruin even THIS for me!

The BBQ Pit
1

Okay, I had a vasectomy November 7. Fine. Rather painful, but I lived, and I don’t have to go through it again. Ever. So what am I railing about now?

Well, the follow-up to all this is to have the system clear out the “residual sperm” and then get a semen analysis after six weeks. After two “all clear” reports, I’m officially sterile. Until then, I not only have to continue using contraceptives, but I am under doctor’s orders to have at least three ejaculations per week until I’m declared both Okie and Dokie.

I mean, it’s not like I wasn’t before all this, you know? But now that I have to because my doctor told me to, I’m approaching it with all the seriousness of making sure I’ve got fresh batteries in my pacemaker. I mean, the pressure I’m under! The performance anxiety! I feel like my urologist is looking over my shoulder, keeping count of my sexual climaxes! Can we get back to just relaxing and having fun with Little Dave-Guy?

:wally: :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally

2

I see you already started working on ejaculation number 1 :eek:

3

Requiring you to have sex three times a week. Hmmm.
Did he write it on a prescription pad?
:wink:

4

And this coming from someone with the username Kinsey? :stuck_out_tongue:

5

Ah, he didn’t tell him to have sex three times per week. Just to get his rocks off. And that could include ol’ Rosie Palm and her four daughters.

Pity da Fool.

6

And that’s what I though he was doing when I saw this:

:wally: :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally :smack: :wally

Or do I just have a dirty mind? :smiley:

7

If your doctor had any type of higher functioning, he would certainly have recommended that the most efficient evacuation of sperm would take place under heavy and repeated suction, and would have written you prescription explaining as much to your SO.

8

What’s to complain about? “Honey, you have to take the next six weeks off from work. It’s a medical emergency.”

9

I just can’t stand the thought of getting anything down there snipped, even in the name of non-pregnancy. :slight_smile:

10

Be thankful you’re a guy and vasectomy is more than just a pipe dream. :stuck_out_tongue:

Ok, I know, it sucks to have orgasms turned into a chore, but I do WISH I had the problem of proving that my surgical sterlization worked.

:wink:

11

I’m confused. Why is having three orgasms a week a problem for you?

12

Oh you poor bunny. Alas, the extent ofo my sympathy is limited!

:slight_smile:

13

I think being ordered to changed the victory conditions in his mind, Matt. That’s tough.

14

Exactly. As I said in the OP, three orgasms a week is nothing new. But as JC said, doing it under doctor’s orders turns it into an imperative that takes all the fun out of it.

And, Kinsey, I wish my wife understood the doctor’s orders the same way you do. :wink:

15

Surely no all the fun?

You can do it, man! Be sure to post the tally; we’re all pulling for you!

16

DaveWoo - I have a cunning plan: why not pretend to yourself that your doctor forbade you to have any orgasms? I’ll bet that helps.

:slight_smile:

17

Teach the bastard a lesson.

Out of spite never have an orgasm again. Be a rebel.

18

Manduck:

      • we’re all pulling for you!
        Speak for yourself. (hands behind back)
19

You need some cheerleaders or something?

Dave! Dave!
He’s our man!
If he can’t climax
No one can!

Gooooooooooooooo Dave! :smiley:

20

…see, though, you’ve just gotta do extra.

Do it three times a week for the doctor…and then do it four extra times for yourself. Problem solved!