Welp, looks like I'm going to jail

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Just got this voice mail. It sort of sounded like Stephen Hawking. It apparently didn’t wait for the beep as I missed the start:
*… the headquarters which will get expired in next 24 working hours. And once again expired after that you will be taken under custody by the local cops as there are four serious allegations pressed on your name at this moment. We would request you to get back to us so that we can discuss about this case before taking any legal action against you. The number to reach us is XXX-XXX-XXXX. *
*:eek: *

So now I’m just hanging out waiting for the local cops to arrive. I did take a shower.

:cool:

2

I wonder if it will be one of the fun jails with a tennis court. Keep us posted if you can.

3

Be sure to pack several pairs of clean underwear too.

4

On your first day in, shiv a guy. The biggest guy you see. You’ll likely be beaten without mercy, killed and your entrails strewn across the yard. But what a story for your family!

5

Oh, no! Not the local cops!

Just remember, they’re more scared of you than you are of them.*

    • Some conditions may apply.
6

I’m hoping for card games, hard boiled eggs and learning banjo.

7

Well then you can go an extra day w/o having to worry about dropping the soap.

8

Wishing you the best in turning your life around and down a better, crime-free life.

In the meantime, tell Big Tony I said Hi.

Regards,
Shodan

9

Now that you’ve got Nora back, Victor, I’d suggest you focus on curing her, so you can quit this life of crime.

10

Make sure Aunt Bea knows how you like your bacon to go with those hard boiled eggs.

11

Call them back. Tell them they’ll never take you alive, see…

12

You mean you ain’t calling the number? Dude all they want is a couple money orders and your bank info. Easy- peasy, no time served!!

13

Don’t past go. Don’t collect 200 dollars

14

“Welp”? :confused:

15

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16

Better hope for such luck! OTOH, he could end up in an Arpaio-style tent city jail in 150-degree heat (if summer) or -150-degree cold (if winter) with nothing more than a grungy pair of pink underwear. But at least the hard labor will help keep him warm.

17

I hear it’s pretty much FPMITAP.

18

Huh. Just last week I got this: “We found that there was a fraud and misconduct on your tax which you are hiding from the federal government. This need to be rectified immediately so do return the call as soon as you receive the message. The number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thank you.”

Since I have carelessly neglected to call back, I’m waiting for the situation to escalate. Maybe we’ll be cellmates!

19

If they have wifi, I will!

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20

If you think you’ll have to smuggle your phone in, get rid of the Samsung Note 4.

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