We're All on Double-Secret Probation

So I’m listening to Attorney General Ashcroft last night, and I’m hearing: “blah blah blah specific and credible evidence blah blah blah terrorist attacks blah blah blah extra-heightened state of alert blah blah blah…” And I’m thinking, this is what? the fourth time since 9/11 that Americans have been asked to go on heightened alert? I think they’re running out of adjectives to describe the states of alert they want us on.

Next time they should just say “Double-Secret Probation.” :smiley:

That accounts for why I felt the urge to throw up on the guy who came to Dope-A-Ween dressed as an ATF agent, right?

So what are we supposed to do? Karate-chop random middle eastern people on the streets? Bring uzis to the world series games? Strip-search the New York marathon runners? What? I wish he’d divulge a bit more so we can focus in on something.

Last I heard, they don’t have any specifics, just that the signs are pointing to something getting ready to happen.

I think it’s clear.

We all need to hire three or four shirtless firemen to patrol our homes at all hours of the night…specifically when our husbands are at rehearsal and we’re alone and helpless in the bathtub.

I’ll second that, and add that, in the interests of showing support through celebrating the diversity of the United States, each fireman should be of a different ethnicity.



Wrong, wrong, wrong.

I’m not hiring anybody. I want Big Guvermint to pay for it.

It’s nuts out there. A coworker and friend (one and the same person) was removed from an aircraft. His skin is rather dark, and he sports a mustache. He speaks with an accent. He’s Puerto Rican, and I’ve heard thru a third party that he’s been getting the evil eye everywhere he goes… It’s insane!

Firemen, huh?? With hoses?!? :o

As for me, I’m hiding under my bed until this alert thing is over. I’m a little nervous, though–I brought a cup of coffee under here, along with some coffeemate and a couple of packets of equal. Either I’ve spilled some coffeemate or those damned terrorists have been in my house. [sub]and I have to pee[/sub] Maybe I should go the other way and run through the streets screaming every time a plane goes overhead. :eek: Though if jarbabyj and Esprix get their way, I might forego either of the above options. Always did love a man semi in uniform! :smiley:

My input is probably better placed in IMHO, but I’m just gonna stick it here since this thread is what moved me to speak.

This morning someone on my bus (city not school) said that there’s supposed to be “something big” happening at the World Series game in NY tonight. It’s my opinion that they aren’t going to strike something so obvious. But that’s just my opinion.

Someone explain to me why they are going to do something that should have such heightened security that they won’t be able to get away with something? Is it as simple as that “we can’t protect against everything”?

You are both so right. I haven’t been to a smorgasbord in far too long.

Even without this latest warning, I’d expect they’d have ultra security at the ball park tonight in New York. Any word on what they are doing, specifically?

playing baseball I hear
:: d&r ::

Well, the Diamondbacks are playing baseball anyway. I’m not sure what the Yankees are doing.

[sub]ducking and running even faster[/sub]

nuke a gay muslim spotted owl for uncle sam!

Did we give up when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?! HELL NO!!! And We’re not givin’ up now! WHO’S WITH ME!!!

I’ll trade you my hot little Asian for your big tall Norseman.

But the German’s did’t bomb…

I know but don’t stop him now, he’s on a roll

Let me see if I got this straight. We are discussing shirtless asian and nordic private-duty firemen with hoses patrolling our homes andspoofing Animal House at the same time?

:sniffs tear:

God I love this place.

So how do I sign up for the ethnically diverse firemen? I’ll take one Scott Bakula look-alike, One Ricky Martin, one Fabio and one Johnny Depp please.


I gotta love my timing. During the last alert, I was on a plane to Buffalo and flying out on another the next day.

This time, I’ll won’t be flying. I’ll just be driving to a convention of mystery writers and fans.

In Washington, D.C.

At a hotel next to Reagan airport.

[sub]Not that I’m worried, mind. Just amused. [/sub]