We're being invaded!

I’ve had multiple Jehovah’s Witness visits recently, which I thought was weird. Now I know why:

They’re coming for us en masse.

I’m frightened. There is no crazy-repellent in my earthquake kit. Stop ringing my friggin’ doorbell over an over because you can tell I’m home. I finally put on my brace or grab the crutches and slowly, painfully, hobble to the door only to have you hand me more bible paperwork. Jesus doesn’t like it when you torture crippled people!

Oooh, I feel for you.

Can you get anything scarily satanic looking to hang on the door? Would that scare them away or increase their efforts to save you, hmm.

I’m truly sorry y’all have this descending on you, but be a dear and keep it out there, m’kay?