We're changing the company name to... What the fuck?

The company I toil for has just lost its parent company. We’re adrift. We’re not going under, though- we’re still making money. We just need a new corporate identity (this will be the third, and hopefully final, name change in as many years). We’re a game company- and in this industry, names mean a LOT.

This new incarnation of the company will be “owned by the employees”- i.e., us. No really. Stop laughing. They mean it.

Anyway, an email was sent out two weeks ago- “suggest five ideas for a company name, and we’ll vote on it.” We all did so. To sweeten the deal, a “juicy prize” was to be given to the winning name’s creator (no idea what, but money is pretty damn sweet, in my opinion).

Then last Friday, we were presented with the new name. Apparently when management said, “We’ll vote on a new name”, they meant management would vote on the new name.

You could hear the sullen resentment begin to grow.

Then they told us the name.

Stunned disbelief erupted.

The new name, our new corporate identity, that which will define us… is the same as the nickname for a state here in the US.

NOT the state we’re actually living and working in.

We all left the meeting… just kind of stunned. We all had a “deer in the headlights” look. Once again, we’d been promised a lot, and gotten nada.

Today, the emails started. Nobody, with the exception of management, seems to like the name. In addition, we were told that the person who picked the name wished to remain anonymous, and wanted to donate the prize (presumably money, again) to a party for the company.

At this point, we realized that they had probably already picked a name when the email was sent out. The domain’s already been reserved- had been for a week before the meeting.

Okay, enough background- on to the rant.

Listen up, chuckleheads: We’re tired of being lied to. We were promised raises last year. That didn’t happen- fine, yeah, we know; money was tight. Then we were promised bonuses. That didn’t happen- no real word on exactly why, but the word “bonus” has become a joke around the office. We’re constantly hearing about upcoming projects- AFTER management’s decided to take the deal (so much for employees having input, eh?).

But now- you’ve blinded us with your blatant stupidity. We’re a fucking game company, fer chrissakes- we need a name that identifies us with fun and excitement, maybe with a bit of irreverence thrown in. Barring that, at least identify us as a company that makes goddamn games! This new name you’ve chosen as a fait accompli, merely identifies us as being from a completely different state- a state which is basically known for having lots of snow! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there ain’t a hell of a lot of snow in this area, dicknoses.

You’re circling the wagons, now; getting defensive. We’re not real certain just WHY you’re so fuckin’ attached to this new name- domain reservation is CHEAP; hell, I’ll pay for the new domain myself!

If you’re going to ask for our opinion, MEAN IT. If you want suggestions, USE THEM. QUIT FUCKING LYING TO US!

That’s what you get for workin’ for The Show-me State, Inc.!! (or * The Garden State, Ltd., or * America’s Wang Co.)
Seriously, what state???:confused: :confused: Alaska?

All I can think of is “Big Sky.” Is that it?

Heck, when Price Waterhouse merged with Coopers & Lybrand, and we all waited anxiously for our new name, imagine our dismay when they came back with PricewaterhouseCoopers. As one newspaper said, if weren’t the best name in consulting, we were certainly the longest.

Wow, that name sucked. Good thing they’ll hopefully be changing it soon when they go public.

(full disclosure: I no longer work at PwC)

So, what’s your company’s new name?

I’d rather not say the company’s name… I can foresee that causing problems for me… :slight_smile:

Buckeye Corp?

Magnolia, Inc.?

America’s Vacationland, Ltd?

I’m guessing…

Lone Star?

Can you tell us if we’re close?

I think Glaxo is a bit more impressive - aren’t they Galxo-Smith-Kliene-Wellcome now?

Oh what the hell. None of the employees here are happy with the choice.

Legomancer got it in one. I had to check his profile to make sure he didn’t work here… kinda scared me. :eek:

Lightnin, speaking as a computer game afficionado, that IS a poor name for a game company. Unless, perhaps, you’re working on Bassmasters 3000?

Check the Suits’ bios. I bet you’ll find at least one stuffed shirt is either from Montana, or went to school there.

Then you’ll have the guilty party(ies) identified.


victory dance

Well, it’s a damn sight better than those pieced-together-out-of-unrelated-syllables names like Acela or Verizon or Accenture.

Damn, I was kinda hoping for Compuglobalhypermeganet, myself.

Actually, just GlaxoSmithKline, or GSK. The Wellcome name had become something of an albatross ever since scandals over the pricing of HIV drugs back in the late 80s-early 90s.

How about… Flancrest Enterprises!

After I read the thread title, I got the sense that “What the Fuck” would be a great name for a company…



Uh, not to nitpick, but I happen to live in Montana (which is not officially nicknamed “The Big Sky State”, although it is sometimes referred to unofficially as “Big Sky Country”), and we don’t have bass up here.

We have trout.

Get it straight. :p;)

I was hoping the name would turn out to be “Famous Potatoes.”