The company I toil for has just lost its parent company. We’re adrift. We’re not going under, though- we’re still making money. We just need a new corporate identity (this will be the third, and hopefully final, name change in as many years). We’re a game company- and in this industry, names mean a LOT.
This new incarnation of the company will be “owned by the employees”- i.e., us. No really. Stop laughing. They mean it.
Anyway, an email was sent out two weeks ago- “suggest five ideas for a company name, and we’ll vote on it.” We all did so. To sweeten the deal, a “juicy prize” was to be given to the winning name’s creator (no idea what, but money is pretty damn sweet, in my opinion).
Then last Friday, we were presented with the new name. Apparently when management said, “We’ll vote on a new name”, they meant management would vote on the new name.
You could hear the sullen resentment begin to grow.
Then they told us the name.
Stunned disbelief erupted.
The new name, our new corporate identity, that which will define us… is the same as the nickname for a state here in the US.
NOT the state we’re actually living and working in.
We all left the meeting… just kind of stunned. We all had a “deer in the headlights” look. Once again, we’d been promised a lot, and gotten nada.
Today, the emails started. Nobody, with the exception of management, seems to like the name. In addition, we were told that the person who picked the name wished to remain anonymous, and wanted to donate the prize (presumably money, again) to a party for the company.
At this point, we realized that they had probably already picked a name when the email was sent out. The domain’s already been reserved- had been for a week before the meeting.
Okay, enough background- on to the rant.
Listen up, chuckleheads: We’re tired of being lied to. We were promised raises last year. That didn’t happen- fine, yeah, we know; money was tight. Then we were promised bonuses. That didn’t happen- no real word on exactly why, but the word “bonus” has become a joke around the office. We’re constantly hearing about upcoming projects- AFTER management’s decided to take the deal (so much for employees having input, eh?).
But now- you’ve blinded us with your blatant stupidity. We’re a fucking game company, fer chrissakes- we need a name that identifies us with fun and excitement, maybe with a bit of irreverence thrown in. Barring that, at least identify us as a company that makes goddamn games! This new name you’ve chosen as a fait accompli, merely identifies us as being from a completely different state- a state which is basically known for having lots of snow! I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but there ain’t a hell of a lot of snow in this area, dicknoses.
You’re circling the wagons, now; getting defensive. We’re not real certain just WHY you’re so fuckin’ attached to this new name- domain reservation is CHEAP; hell, I’ll pay for the new domain myself!
If you’re going to ask for our opinion, MEAN IT. If you want suggestions, USE THEM. QUIT FUCKING LYING TO US!
