Were you dating someone else when you met "the one"?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Wow. I’ve been aware of my husban’s existence since I was in 11th grade (I didn’t like him). Over the next few years, his path and mine crossed occasionally, and yes, for some of those path-crossings, I was dating other people.

Fast-forward a couple more years. I’d broken up with the guy I had been sure was The Love Of My Life, six months prior. I’d been uninterested in seeing anyone. Just by chance, my path crossed with hubby’s again. This is because he was dating a friend of mine. I got to know him a little better than I had before. We had both matured some. He’d been married (very briefly), and was legally separated. There was no commitment between him and my friend that he was dating. I started to find him, well, attractive. I was not interested in anything serious or complicated, but kind of needed a rebound-guy.

For two years, we told everyone it was a fling. :wink: I guess it stopped being a fling after our first child was born, almost three years into the relationship. A year and a half after that, we got married. We’ve been married just over 18years, and I honestly couldn’t imagine being with anyone else.

He’s not perfect, but he’s perfect for me.

PS on the girl he was dating when he started dating me: During the time he was dating both of us, she kept telling both of us “Don’t talk to me about it; there are things I just don’t want to know”, so we kept it very low key. But when her grandmother saw him and me together at the local snow-cone stand, my friend blew a gasket. She wrote me a letter calling me ten kinds of a bitch, and saying she’d never speak to me again. And she broke up with him. A few months later, she contacted him, and said she’d like to be friends again. He said “Fine, but you’ll have to apologize to norinew”. She said “no way”, he said “Have it your way. See ya”. That’s not exactly when I knew I loved him, but it was the start of knowing it.

22

When I actually met “the one,” I was a brand new college student and was playing the field a bit - really the only time in my life that I’ve done so. I met him as a friend of a friend at a club - I thought he was beautiful, but a bit aloof and arrogant. (He still is.)

Five years later I’d graduated from college and was living with a boy I loved deeply and had been dating for almost two years. I was also playing in a tabletop role playing game being run by “the one.” He was still beautiful, and I soon learned that he was also wickedly smart and very chivalrous. I fought it every step of the way, but I fell for him anyway. Within a month I’d broken up with my boyfriend, and a month after that I moved in with “the one.” He proposed to me this last Christmas.

Apparently this sort of thing runs in my family. My grandmother was at a dance with her fiancé when she turned to her best friend and said “I just saw the man I’m going to marry.” Her friend replied, “of course…he’s right over there,” but my grandmother’s eyes were on another man - a man she’d never seen until that night, and with whom she hadn’t even spoken yet. She dumped her fiancé and married that other man two weeks later, and they remained married until the day he died thirty years later.

23

Yes, when I met my fiancee, um… I guess I’ll refer to her as “Ate the Bluetooth” because any “Swallowed” nicknames are bound to sound smutty… So I met ATB when we were both dating other people (although she wasn’t dating who I thought she was dating). It did not contribute to our respective break-ups though.

I met my fiance through my sister. My sister is a lesbian and an athlete, and ATB is quite a fair athlete too. She keeps her hair pretty short because it’s so curly. Not “Felicity” curly, but “Sideshow Bob” curly. It’s a huge nuisance playing sports, unelss it’s short enough for a dandy faux hawk. So when I met my fiancee, I actually thought she was dating one of the girls on my sister’s team. :smack:

In truth, she had a live-in boyfriend.

I remember thinking “Wow, she’s awesome.” and then leaving it at that, because she’s gay (she’s not) and dating that girl (actually dating that guy). And I went on to meet this other great girl that I dated for a few months. Apparently, at the time I first met ATB, she was having problems with her relationship but was soldiering on, trying to resolve it in couples’ counseling.

Meanwhile, I ran into the girl I thought ATB was dating and asked about her, “So how’s ATB? Still rowing together?” whereupon I got the strangest look and was told “We’re on a break.” Now, what the girl meant was (due to a personality conflict) they had taken a break as rowing partners. I took it to mean, a Ross-and-Rachel break, thus confirming my suspicions that ATB was gay and would never be interested in the likes of me. Nevertheless, I really, REALLY wanted to see ATB again. Even though I knew we could only ever be friends, what with her being a lesbian and all :smack: .

Then I ran into her… during Gay Pride :smack: when I ventured out with my sister and some of her friends as their “dutch boy”. And with the all the smoothness of Reeves playing bumbling Clark Kent, I went up to her and blurted out: “Oh, hi, Ate the Bluetooth! Wanna play squash on Thursdays?”

And so we had a standing date, every Thursday, to play squash. And I learned she wasn’t gay :slight_smile: , and I learned she had a boyfriend :frowning: , and I learned they were “on a break” :dubious: … then one day she asked me out on a date! :smiley:

24

I don’t normally dig on the smileys, but that was delightful.

25

Yeah, it’s a little smiley heavy. Don’t use 'em much, but it really seemed to be the most appropriate way to express the highs and lows. Heh!

26

I had been single for a couple of months, and he had been single for about three weeks when we started, erm, dating. (Much more casual than most people’s concepts of dating. A lot like a friends with benefits relationship, but we hung out a lot and had a regular “date” night.) We had, however, met at a time when the both of us were still with our exes and put away whatever inclinations we had with the assumption that we could be friendly acquaintances unless circumstances would arise that would cause us to both be single. I didn’t go out of my way to cause it to happen, and neither did he.

That said, if you’re involved with someone and the pull to try someone else is so strong that you’re considering breaking up or cheating on the person, think hard about your actions. The relationship you’re in may not be the best if you’re tempted so strongly, but at the same time, the dreamboat in the distance may also be a fluke.

27

Eh. Not really.

I’d been seeing a couple of gentlemen casually for some months, but neither situation was even marginally serious. I was a good 8 or 9 months post my last serious relationship before I met my sweetie.

However, I knew within 10 seconds of meeting him I was going to marry him. It was the creepiest damn thing. Freaked me out but good.

28

Yes.

The first words my now-husband said to me were “Are you one of the people I’m waiting on?” Uh, no, but I’ll help you find them. He then asked me if I wanted to go to the summer theater production he was attending that night. No, thanks - I have a date. The guy I had been dating most of my freshman year in college.

When I got back from my date that night, Mr. SCL was sitting on the dorm steps. We talked all night.

11 years later, after dating on-and-off for some of those 11 years, I went to visit him in Hawaii. He proposed on Monday; we got married on Wednesday. I then had to fly back to Atlanta and tell the guy I’d been dating for three years I had gotten married while I was on vacation.

We’ve been married 18 years now.

29

Yes, I was seeing someone else when I met my husband. And, no, meeting him didn’t contribute to the breakup with the other guy. Incompatible personalities and my dislike of being abused did.

Between the time I broke up with that guy and the time I started dating my husband, I dated someone else seriously (I lived out of the country for a while and temporarily lost touch with my husband), then we broke up and I happened to run into my husband at a movie theater. We got together “as friends,” it turned into more and here we are, married with a kid. Go figure.

30

I was in college and working part-time. I was a bouncer at a small bar where 5-6 of the football team members were the Real bouncers. I was the guy who’d try to talk nicely to drunken customers, because if the other bouncers had to get involved, bones were going to get broken. YMMV, but I found it hard word pulling 18 credits and working 15-20 hours a week. My friends became strangers. Parties made me roll my eyes. Finally, a few friends drew a line I the sand: come to this one party or piss off. So I went to that one party, after working 4 hours (yes, I showered & changed). There was a cute girl sitting next to the only empty seat in two dorm rooms and the empty seat had a Members Only jacket on the back of it. My legs ached and I finally said to my self “Screw it, I don’t care if it starts a fight. I’m sitting down, consequences be damned”. I even turned to the pretty blonde girl and cracked a joke. She giggled. And we were off…
**But Wait…… There’s More……! ** :smiley:
She had given me her number and we had agreed to try to see each the next weekend, classes permitting. And that was how Friday Night ended.

Saturday night, I went to work and I saw what I thought was a fake ID. I pulled the ID and the person objected. I referred them to the manager, as was policy. Well, as strange as it sounds, even though the picture looked Nothing Like Her, she had other ID that backed up that she was, in fact, this person. The manager, ever the understanding guy, pulled me into a back room and threw me up against a wall, saying very specifically, that I was to “make this customer happy, whatever it takes, Or Your Fired.” (Its funny, but asshat bosses like this seem to gravitate to fringe college businesses seemingly just so they can treat student employees this way. Go figure. :dubious: ) Anyway, I go back to the girl, give her back her ID, apologize, and hang-out/listen to her the rest of the night talk about her boyfriend & his Camaro. At the end of my shift, I told her I had to go. She asked for my phone number & said “maybe you and a friend can go out with us sometime.”

Knowing that giving her the number to the restroom at the local shell station would get me a pink slip, I had to give her my real phone number. I felt truly slimy handing it to her, given I had no option to refuse. I smiled. And then I went home and showered.

Fast forward to Wednesday, where I get a call from her telling me to get a friend and meet her at her place Friday so that we can all go to a club. So I call the girl I met at the party and ask her out on a date that Friday. She said yes. And come Friday, I picked up one beautiful girl to take over to this other girl’s apartment. We get there and the other girl is there, dressed to the nines, and with her roommate…also dressed to the nines.

“Where’s your friend?” she said.
“Right here.” Says I. :smiley:
An ugly look passed across her face as she then proceeded to tell me that when she said ‘friend’, she wanted me to get one of the other bouncers for her roommate.
“But, what about your boyfriend and his Camaro…?” I asked innocently. :cool:

“Just take us to the club.” She replied.

So, everyone piles into my car and heads over to the ‘Club’, a truly high-schoolish establishment where all the guys sat drinking at the bar and al the girls danced with each other on the dance floor. Enter Count Blucher with not one, not two, but three fairly hot women on my arm. The dancing stops. The drinking stops.

By God, I think even Crockett & Tubbs turned to stare. :stuck_out_tongue:

And then the next song came on and I took all three out to the dance floor and started to dance…with my date. You see, in my mind, I had only One true date with me that night. And I stayed with the girl I came in with. As for now, its two kids (and two decades) later and I’m still with the girl I came in with. :smiley:

31

No, not dating anyone else, but I met my husband by way of the fact that I perceived myself to be madly in love with his best friend, unrequitedly, of course. Met my husband, who asked me out almost immediately after we met. I figured why not, and we dated a while, did the long distance thing a while, then got engaged, and we got married last summer.

32

I was 20 years married with four children when I met her. It was a thunderbolt. We’ve been married for 14 years now, and it seems like six months.

33

Yep, living with someone, planning to propose a committment ceremony when I got back from a trip… instead I met The One, came home and immediately broke up. We’ve been together 18 years now, so it was a good decision!

34

I was out on sort-of-date two nights before I met Mrs. RickJay, and had a real date scheduled with her te night after I met Mrs. RickJay, which I begged out of to go out with Mrs. RickJay.

I have always had this feeling, for some reason, that had I not met Mrs. RickJay, I’d have ended up married to the other girl. Don’t know why, I just do. It would not have worked out all that well, I suspect. So, I got lucky.

35

I wasn’t, he was…then I was and he was, then I wasn’t and he was, than he wasn’t and I was, then we both were, then we both weren’t (for 40 minutes at a friend’s wedding) but neither of us knew it, then I got married, then I got divorced, but he was, then he wasn’t but I was, then he was and I was, then he got engaged…

then he broke it off and we were.

(It was eleven years).

36

I was married when my current wife and I met.

I wasn’t with the first wife at the time.

37

Yes I was dating someone when I met “the one”. Actually, “the one” was the shoulder that I leaned on when the guy I was dating started ignoring me and stopped returning my calls. “I thought that if I made you angry at me and want to break up with me, that it would be an easier break up for you. I was ignoring you for your own good!” - What an asshat.

While I was trying to get a hold of the dating guy to let him know that I was giving him his walking papers, “the one” confessed that he loved me and he could do better by me. After I broke up with the other guy I waited a few months because I wanted to sort out my feelings so “the one” wouldn’t be a rebound guy. After a few threats from my friends to date him because he was so good for me, I relented.

We’ve been together six years and two months. :slight_smile:

38

I was seeing someone off and on, but we were both seeing other people as well. When I met my SO she was dating just one guy but not serious. She had just moved to town and he was her first beau there. But we were all pals, going to the same parties, and he could see where things were headed with me and her, and he simply backed off.

39

Nope. I was “the One.”
We started dating when she was between commitments to another guy. He encouraged her to go back to him, and she broke off with me. So I wrote her a letter to let her know her options were still open and, when he messed up one more time, she gave me a call.

40

Gotta love a guy with confidence.