In a recent conversation, talk turned to being in another person’s wedding. It occurred to me that apart from being a junior bridesmaid for my cousin when I was 9, I’ve never been asked. And since I eloped, I didn’t have to do any asking, but that’s another thread.
I’ve heard tales of ugly bridesmaid dresses with big butt bows and expensive out-of-town bachelorette parties and out-of-control bridezillas, but I was spared all that. I’m pretty sure I dodged a bullet or three there.
I have been a bridesmaid in 4 weddings, but the experience I treasure most was being the maid of honor at the wedding of my former roommate in college who was gay and came out to me because she trusted me. She and her partner are still happily together.
Well, since you didn’t specify what role, yes, both as a groomsman and as best man. While I was happy to serve as best man once, and would with a smile if asked, I’d rather not do it again. No wedding horror stories or bridezillas or anything, just didn’t particularly like the role.
The weddings where I was a groomsman, those folks are all still together. The wedding where I was best man, they were divorced at five years almost to the day.
That’s sweet - it’s nice to hear a happy story, tho the bridezilla ones are certainly entertaining…
Thinking of my sibs’ weddings - I was the only one who moved away, so, thankfully, none of them asked a lot of me. We lived 800 miles away. I did a reading for one sister, I sang for another. I was a guest only at my brother’s wedding, and I didn’t attend the other sister’s wedding (we were going, then it was canceled, and by the time she rescheduled it, we couldn’t go. As it happened, they didn’t even last a year.)
I was best man at both of my brother’s weddings. Like @DorkVader I was not a good luck charm. My bro is twice divorced. I was also a groomsman at a friend’s wedding, and they are still together.
I was my sister’s maid of honor, although since I was only sixteen her best friend handled most of the heavy lifting.
My sister was a bridesmaid three times and wore yellow each time, even though she doesn’t like the color. She was so happy that I chose blue for my attendants when she was my MOH. (BTW, I was substitute teaching at the time and the girls in one class got into a major argument over whether I should choose pink or black for them. When I said they’d wear blue, all the girls agreed that was a mistake.)
I was my brother’s best man. Fortunately he’s very chill, so my responsibilities were twofold:
Bachelor Party: We had a very traditional bachelor party, by which I mean that I wrote a one-shot roleplaying scenario for him and his friends, and we got super drunk and played Heroes of the Silver Screen, in which a bunch of cast and crew from 1940s pulp movies got stranded on an island where a mad scientist was building an army of robots, and they had to use their various skills (props, acting, stunts, etc.) to foil the mad scientist. Y’know, like most bachelor parties.
Poem: I read a poem during the ceremony.
Oh! And when I was seven, I played a Vivaldi piece on the violin in my uncle’s wedding. Many years later, when she was about ten, my daughter played a different piece on the violin for her uncle’s wedding.
Groomsman twice and Best Man once. I remember being stupid drunk as Best Man and winging the speech. Afterward, everyone told me how great my speech was. I have no idea what I said.
I have been in quite a few weddings, all of which were clustered over a few year period, about 30 years ago (when I and all of my friends were of typical marrying age). I was also the ring bearer in a couple of weddings when I was a kid. As an adult, I was best man in one wedding and a groomsman in the others. I also walked my sister down the aisle since our father passed away when we were young.
Being a dude, I never had to deal with bridezillas or ugly dresses. Dudes wear a rented tux and that’s it. The only variation is the color of the cummerbund.
My friends and I are all the type of people that don’t put up with drama or bullshit. If anyone had tried to act like a groomzilla or whatever we would have just made fun of them for it and told them to stop acting like an asshole.
The only drama in any of the weddings was my own wedding. Mrs. Geek wanted the wedding in her church in northeast Baltimore, which I was fine with, and since it was a popular church there was literally only one wedding slot available, and the next slot would have been something like 10 months later. Mrs. Geek’s uncle was also getting married at the time and just by coincidence they picked the exact same day. We explained that we couldn’t reschedule since the church wasn’t available for months, and even though their schedule was wide open and they could have easily changed the date, the uncle’s bride refused to change it. She had picked that date and that was that, and demanded that we change our date instead (we had already repeatedly explained to her that wasn’t an option - I have heard that she was a bit of a bridezilla in other ways as well). A bunch of Mrs. Geek’s relatives were forced to attend our wedding in Baltimore in the morning then drive six hours up to Connecticut to attend the other wedding in the evening.
I’ve been a bridesmaid three times back in the 80s - way before weddings became over the top affairs. There was nothing expected of the wedding party other than buying our dresses (I remember 2 of the dresses were lavender and no memory of what the other one was) and the women giving the bride a bridal shower. There were no bachelor or bachelorette parties like there are now. I think the guys might have gotten together at a bar but that’s about it.
I was a bridesmaid age 20 for my best friend in high school - she’s still married after 50 years. Then I was a bridesmaid late 20’s in my brother’s wedding. And again in my other brother’s wedding in my 30’s. (My own wedding, we eloped and married by the local justice of the peace in her living room. )
Four rounds as a groomsman, with a best man gig in just over a year.
Never any drama in any of the weddings themselves, though my buddy’s wife went off the deep end at the combination bachelor/bachelorette party and basically threw out all of her bridesmaids, which also tossed the groomsmen, who were married to said disinvited bridesmaids. My friend’s brother stepped in as best man, another friend stepped in as MOH, and it was a very small wedding party. Which was perfect, as the wedding itself was only very close friends and family. The original wedding party was something like a third of the wedding guests.
I’ve worked probably a hundred weddings or more. The drama that servers and bartenders see definitely killed my desire for a huge wedding.
A couple my ex and I were close to get married at the courthouse one afternoon. We were the only two “witnesses” but I didn’t consider myself to be the “best man” or anything. Perhaps I should have done more than simply witness and sign the license.
I was a male bridesmaid. (Heterosexual wedding: the groom wanted his sister on his side, and I was friends with both, so I stood with the bride.) It was a low-key wedding, so there wasn’t much fuss involved: two attendants on each side. They’re still married; I’m still friends with both. No attendants (or guests) for my own wedding.
I’ve ushered 3 times and was a grooms-man once. No drama or drunken excess. But something one of the other grooms-men said stuck with me - “No wives, no kids, no pets, no problems.” I’ve pretty much stuck with that formula and it works for me.
I was MOH for my sister. I don’t recall really having any special responsibilities in that role. My sister had wanted nothing more than to be married by age 25. She found a man, proposed to him after about a year, bought her own ring. She planned the wedding while he was out of town on a 3 month residency. He returned a few days before the wedding. She was 2 weeks shy of turning 25. They’ve been married almost 40 years now.
