I’ve been a bridesmaid at three weddings, with each dress being uglier than the last. I’d much rather be a guest.
Maid of honour once, bridesmaid twice. Everyone is still together and I actually liked the dresses I wore.
I really enjoy weddings, as part of the party or just as a guest. I love seeing what people choose to do with different family and cultural traditions.
Two of our friends wanted to get married without fuss (a cousin of one of the grooms wanted to plan - but not pay for - a big gay wedding, and they wanted nothing to do with that).
In PA, you can get a self-uniting marriage license, which only requires two adult witnesses and no officiant. So, they asked me and Kopek to do the honors. We went to Kennywood for a few hours, then to a nearby Chinese restaurant, where we filled out the paperwork, signed it, then clinked our glasses. The guys filed the paperwork the next week and had a lovely small reception for close friends and family about six months later, at the restaurant where they had gotten engaged.
No drama, no butt bows, just a happy couple.
The only other wedding I was in (other than my own) was that of a very dear friend. I was stationed at the church entrance to hand out little bells that would be rung when the couple left the church and during the reception. My official title (yes, in the program!) was “Head Ding-a-Ling.”
I have been best man twice and a groomsman twice. Between the ages of 15-27. At 15 I was drafted in as a groomsman just because I was friends with a very shy 15 year old sister of the bride and she was comfortable with me as an escort and first dance partner. Did not know the groom from Adam.
The other three occasions I was brother or cousin (and very close friend) of the groom.
All four marriages are going strong, 25+ years later. And I’m still friends with that bridesmaid and her husband.
I was a groomsman for a friend’s wedding in Atlanta (timed just before Dragoncon as bride and groom were way into that). It was generally a good time not too stressful. Though the logistics were a bit err strained too many guests turned up and they didn’t reserve a high table. So (as the wedding party had to observe the signing of the Jewish wedding documents) we ended up not having anywhere to sit for the meal and ate in the foyer.
My main responsibility was bachelor party planning which was pretty epic and involved (among other things) going to a ren faire dressed in star trek uniforms:)
I was a last-minute usher at my female cousin’s first (failed) marriage, when someone’s brother got suddenly sick, or at least so I was told.
What was more fun, I once fake-officiated at a fake wedding ceremony so that two friends of a friend could pretend to be married for the sake of their parents’ concerns about living together in sin. This was back in the 70’s, I was only in my early 20’s but I always looked older, and it seemed to go off without a hitch. There were no pre-ceremony meetings or rehearsals or anything, just the ceremony itself, outdoors and pretty informal. I never heard, after that, how long the deception lasted, or how long the couple stayed together.
One of my sisters had a courthouse wedding, so no attendants, and the other married in church but did not ask. So, no.
I’ve been an attendant in three weddings and my husband and I both walked our daughter down the aisle for hers (although that doesn’t really count).
The first one I was in was that of the MOH at my wedding a few years earlier; she had a slew of siblings, so I was the only non-sister in the entire (huge) bridesmaid contingent. It was a formal wedding, complete with Mass, in a Catholic Church. We wore salmon-colored dresses that were, in retrospect, not bad for bridesmaid’s dresses. When we were choosing them, the bride kept insisting she wanted to pick something we could wear again. The sister who was her MOH assured her that we could totally shorten the dresses and wear them again, and she muttered in an aside to me, “If we’re ever in another wedding with the same colors.” That couple is still married, although we’ve lost touch aside from the occasional Christmas card.
The second was for my best friend from high school, who was six or seven months pregnant and trying to make her parents happy. I’d just had my first child less than a year before and she wasn’t interested in finding a maternity wedding gown, so we just wore the nicest outfits we already owned that still fit (I believe we both ended up in blouses and skirts). The ceremony took place in her parents’ house and was more informal than some potlucks I’ve attended. That marriage lasted less than a year, predictably, given that it was just to get her dad to shut up about having an illegitimate grandchild.
The third was for a couple I actually introduced online, if you can imagine that. It was held in a gorgeous outdoor venue in a Colorado town, and I believe everyone had to travel to it. I was the MOH and the groom’s sister was the other bridesmaid. The bride chose sage green as the color and sent us to the David’s Bridal where each of us lived to choose whatever floor-length dress we wanted in that color. The bridesmaid looked lovely in hers; I looked like her mother (emphasis on matron of honor). It was a lovely ceremony, the food was great, my nine-year-old daughter scammed the bride into letting her be the flower girl, and a good time was had by all. Sadly, that marriage split up after seven or eight years.
No one was a bridezilla, all the people involved in all the weddings were nice (or at least polite), and everyone was considerate of everyone else’s feelings. I was never responsible for any showers or outings (only the first bride even had a shower). I still have the two dresses, and they did get worn again - when my kids played dress-up.
I was in my buddy’s wedding party. Started dating one of the bridesmaids almost immediately after the wedding and we’ve been married 17 years this June.
I was the witness for a couple of my friends, who decided to get married after the first child or two. We went up to Niagara Falls and found a justice of the peace – I can’t remember whether they’d called to arrange it first. The justice provided the other witness. We were all dead broke – we couldn’t afford to stay in Niagara Falls, we just drove back home – and everybody wore clothes we already had, I no longer remember what. The marriage lasted maybe another twenty years.
I was a child when my older sisters married and no longer remember whether I was in the wedding parties, though I was certainly at the weddings. I might have been a flower girl, or might just have been a guest. The only thing I clearly remember was jumping out to catch the bouquet, though I don’t remember which wedding that was at. (It didn’t work.)
I’ve been to a number of other weddings as a guest. If there was any major drama for any of them, I wasn’t aware of it. Bridesmaids, if any, often appeared to be wearing ordinary party dresses that very likely did see other use.
The summer of 1974 was a busy time for me. I was an usher in two weddings (including my sister’s), and a groomsman in another two weddings.
Two of the marriages will celebrate their 50th wedding anniversaries in a couple of months, but the other two marriages (including my sister’s) lasted less than six years.
Let’s see:
Best man - 3 different weddings
Groomsman - 4 different weddings
Officiant - 4 different weddings
“Good luck” westerner in a Chinese couple’s western wedding - once
I’ve served as both a Best Man and as a groomsman. As Best Man I won the pool among the bridal party as to how long it would last. My stint as groomsman is remembered for the quote by the groom when he inquired about where his Best Man was - “I gave my brother and Silenus the keys to my truck, $300 and told them to pick up the beer for the reception. What the hell was I thinking?”
Hey, we got there in time.
Never been a best man or groomsman, but I’ve been a pianist for many weddings.
I was a groomsman for my cousin’s wedding, as he was for mine years earlier. This was for the ceremony. For the reception, I acted as host/ MC instead of sitting with the rest of the wedding party.
I was a flower girl for my aunt when I was 4 or 5. And I was adorable.
By the time, most of my friends were at an age when most people married, most people in my set weren’t getting married. Those that did had small and/or non-traditional weddings with none of the usual panoply of attendants, bridesmaids, groomsmen, etc. Even my older sister (the only married sibling of four) got married at the Culver City Town Hall with just her and her husband. They came back to our folks’ house for cold cuts and beer. They’d lived together for a few years before marrying, and they’re still married today (probably 40+ years").
I was the flower girl for my aunt when I was five or six maybe? I remember I loved the dress - my grandmother made it and it had a bell sewn into the hem so I jingled a little when I walked. And I wanted to keep all the pretty flower petals so I only dropped a few on the aisle as I was walking up it.
The only time I’ve been a bridesmaid was in my sister’s wedding. I almost had to fill in as a bridesmaid at the last minute at my then-husband’s buddy’s wedding. One of the bridesmaids apparently somehow forgot the wedding was that day and didn’t show up until literally minutes before the ceremony was supposed to start. It was a very casual wedding and my flowered dress wasn’t too different than what the other bridesmaids were wearing so the bride asked if I would fill in if the other one didn’t show. Even though I didn’t know her very well I was willing to do it.
I was best man at my best friend’s wedding.
I sang at 2 weddings. I used to sing well.
MOH twice; bridesmaid six times. No bridezillas or fun drama at any of the weddings, unfortunately. One divorce, but the other seven couples are still married, and it’s been more than 20 years for all of them.
At the time (I was in my 20’s and 30’s), it felt like a huge honor to be asked, but now I’d rather save the money, wear an outfit I like, and be a regular guest.
I never wore any of the dresses again. One bride chose flowy black pants and a fitted white blouse for her bridal party, and that outfit had promise, but still nope.
Best man three times, usher once. I lost touch with one couple, another couple got divorced, two couples are still going strong.
I nearly was included in another wedding, but not in a “best man/groomsman/usher” role. I play the flute, and the couple wanted a piano and flute duet during the ceremony. Fine, no problem, but while the pianist and I rehearsed what the couple wanted, the couple was having problems. The wedding was called off two weeks prior to the ceremony, meaning that we were not needed.