Surely people aren’t asking you “How do you know she’s a witch” all that often?
Agreed with **SciFiSam **- I’d follow it up with, “I do not think that word means what you think it means.” Also acceptable is “You keep using that word.”
Exxxxcellent.
Around our house, if someone says “It’s possible.” both my wife and I will chime in “…pig.”
Whenever someone tells me they have a headache, I have to respond with “maybe it’s a tumor.” They, of course, generally reply back with…
Someone on TV said “So long,” and I unthinkingly responded “and thanks for all the fish,” and that’s how I found out my husband had never heard of Douglas Adams.
With my siblings, any variant of “I’m lost” inevitably yields
“Have you tried Hare Krishna?”
If I hear anyone say “So I’ve got that going for me” or anything close, I always think and often say “Which is nice”.
If anybody says, “and that’s all I need,” I start in on a list of random objects.
“And this lampshade, and this book of matches, and, and… this frying pan.”
From The Jerk.
If anyone says “which way?” - my husband and I say, “Both ways are nice,” while corssing our arms and pointing - like The Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
The subject of ID badges comes up sometimes here at work - someone always quotes, “Badges? We ain’t got no badges! We don’t need no badges! I don’t have to show you any stinking badges!”
One of my work buddies and I crack each other up with, “She’s sick.” What’s the matter with her?" “Vaginitis.”
Bwa-ha-ha! I love that movie. (Bandits)
I use the “it could be a tumor” one the most often. It is almost always met with the appropriate response.
There is also a line in Mannequin where the guy asks the mannequin if she likes her new scarf and she comes to life, saying, “Not especially,” thereby freaking him out.
I say that a lot as well.
This is from a children’s book, not a movie, but woe to the person who asks if I like their hat. “No. I do not like your hat. Good-bye.”
How often do people say that to you? Are you a trained assassin?
No … not trained …
Girl Wonder and I have this habit where we playfully insult each other with really, really coarse words. And it never fails that I say “pig,” and she responds with “pigfucker.”
And I ALWAYS answer that with, “dude! Don’t say pigfucker in front of Jesus!”
The “too late” line from Clue is another that I use with stunning regularity.
Not a line from a movie, but whenever I see someone with a flamboyant scarf, I have to say, “Nice scarf, Isadora.”
Every time I see badgers I say “Badgers? We don’t need no steenkin’ badgers!” (UHF)
Not a movie quote, but when my husband and I were at a Toronto Maple Leafs game these two fans kept saying “Dion Phaneuf…doo doo doo doo doo…DION PHANEUF!” (picture the “Mahna Mahna” tune.) So every time we watch a Leafs game and they mention Phaneuf we both do the song.
When someone asks you if you’re a trained assassin- you… say… YES!
“Too late” and “inconceivable” get used a lot at my house, but most of the mandatory replies around here come from Invader Zim.
“I gotta go”
“I GOTTA GO, PIG! I’LL SEE YOU LATER!”
“There’s only on thing to do.”
“You gonna make biscuits?”
“Do you want <x>?”
“I do.”
“Guess what I saw?”
“I saw a squirrel.”
I’m sure there’s a lot more, but I’m also sure you get the idea.
“bye bye” always gets a “have fun stormin’ the castle!” from me. If it’s a good friend, generally they’ll respond with “think it’ll work?” and we’re off from there.
This, plus repeating whatever somebody says in a deadpan voice whenever someone ends a sentence with.
When “tolls” or “rolls” get mentioned I like to recite, in a terrible English accent:
Tolls is tolls
And rolls is rolls
And if we don’t get no tolls
We don’t get no rolls
From Robin Hood: Men in Tights.