New user here.
My problem is this: I meet guys who sometimes seem really interested in me while other days seem half-assed interested and then suddenly one day they aren’t interested at all. Several months or even years later go by and they will call out of the blue or I will run into them somewhere. Then they act like they are madly attracted to me, always have been, it was a huge mistake to let me get away, they were “confused” and now they just HAVE to go out with me that night.
(When we do go out I think, “A year ago I would have been excited but now…eh… I just want to home in time for Friends.”
At least 12 guys have done this to me. Is this something I’m doing or a freaking guy thing? Why do they suddenly want to go out with me so bad?
my guess is you are a fine “catch” (i hate that word) but it takes a while for them to realize that, the (basically the) same thing happens to me, they seem to come back with kids and debt though, by the way, i’m a 37 year old man.
But how can I make them realize I’m a catch? I feel that they are only asking me out because they are lonely or something. They tell me that they are attracted to me but I don’t believe them. I think, if they really were attracted to me they would have asked me out a year ago. Especially when I know they have met other women and asked them out right away.
my problem (i think) is that i’m not “flashy” and they are distracted by flashy guys, it takes them awhile to realize what they walked away from, take my advice, live your life and if it’s gonna happen, it will, don’t worry about it too much (i know it’s the same old crappy advice, but it is good advice, i hope).
Yes, I think many women, especially younger ones, might be interested in the flashy guy only to later realize what kind of crap often goes along with the flash. I think that’s part of my problem too. Guys are distracted by women way more attractive then me but often times these women don’t even look twice at the guy. He eventually gives up and settles for my type. Or they actually do go out with what I call high-maintanence women. The whining, the demands and the other other crap eventually drive them nuts.
a woman who looks good after makeup and hairspray is nice, a woman who looks good without it is a keeper!, i don’t think it’s a matter of “settling”, i think it’s a matter of realizing what you actually want, but guys are stupid (especially when your young and horny) and unfortunately they (to a great extent) are drawn in by “flash”, i have dated some “high maintenance” women and i have since developed “radar” to protect myself from them.
Speaking as a former “player” for lack of a better word. These are things similar I would say to a girl to get her to put out. So if your puting out early (and I’m not saying you are) don’t; and you’ll weed these f’rs out real quick. Good luck to ya.
I’m guessing that these guys have had other “flashier” women on the line at the same time when you’ve first met them. Later on, they’re not having much going on, and they’re sitting there alone, and start thinking “man, that Watcher, she was pretty cool… not like that Britney wannabe that dumped my sorry ass” …/thinking… “Man, she was hot, too… I should call her…”
