Sure it’s a rant thread, so the audience will be self-selecting for this kind of thing, but I’ve been with my guy for 2.5 years and we don’t have this problem. Is this just a bunch of people in bad relationships or something?
Not my SO but my sister does this annoying thing where she will call my voice mail and then say: “Hey, what are you doing?” She’ll then pause for a second as if I’m going to answer, and then goes on about whatever it is she wanted to talk to me about.
My current GF still has that New Relationship Smell to it. So no annoying questions from her…
Yet.
When you get to the 20+ year stage, get back to us.
Well, not really annoying, and she only asked it once (so far), but I’m still laughing about it. And now it’s gonna become a meme with us. I thought we were finished with yard work for the day, so I was having a few beers and smoking a few bowls. I was very relaxed.
She decided a few tree limbs needed to go. So, she walked up to me, looked me in the eye, and asked, “Are you too high to operate a chainsaw?”
What do you want to do / where do you want to go / for dinner?
The question’s fine, it’s just that she shoots down every single answer, until I say “whatever you’d like”, then she complains that I always say that, and she makes a choice and I say “fine”, then she keeps saying “but are you sure you wouldn’t rather…”.
None of this has anything to do with dinner. It is only about shooting down answers. But I can’t eat until we play a bunch of rounds of this stupid game!!!
What time did you go to sleep?
He asks that every morning, even if we went to sleep at the same time.
It’s not something she says, or even does intentionally, but she always happens to call me either when I’m driving, or when I’ve just walked away from my desk for a few minutes.
15 years of marriage. “How did you sleep last night?” Why, I slept like shit, thanks. Like every night. Such a boring question.
“Can you help me <insert tedious task>?” Here “Help” means “do it for me”
“Did you do <insert tedious task>?”
“When are you going to do <insert tedious task>?”
“What did you spend all your money on?” This is annoying enough because she knows the answer is beer. Beer for both of us. But mostly me.
“When are you leaving?”
“Why don’t you listen to me when I told you about <insert some tedious task or event she planned 4 months in advance then never mentioned again until the day of>?”
HA!
I swear I’m hgoing to open a chain of restaturants named “Anywhere Will Do” “Anything’s Fine” and “I Dunno”.
My wife never just TELLS me “I’m hungry/thirsty- could you please, go to the kitchen and get me a snack/drink.” Instead, she’ll ask, “Are you heading to the kitchen?” The answer is no, of course, but I have learned to infer that she wants something, but that I’m required to pretend it was MY idea… or that I was just about to go to the kitchen anyhow, so she’s not really inconveniencing me.
Years ago, I remember an old “Kudzu” comic strip, which went like this…
Elderly mother: Are you going to put any salt on your food?
Kudzu: No (goes on eating).
Mother: I see (icily)
Kudzu: You want me to pass you the salt?
Mother: Please.
Kudzu (directly to reader): My Mother raises passive-aggressiveness to an art form.
I related.
We don’t have kids, so it is just the two of us, but whenever he wants to ask whether I performed a regular task it’s always in the passive voice (to take the potential agency off himself?) like, “Did the cat get fed?” I DON’T KNOW! DID YOU FEED HIM? I haven’t… Oh, are you asking IF I FED HIM? Like, is this a mystery? Who else might have fed the cat?! Elves? Burglars? I almost always feed the cat. Acknowledge it, damn it.
I think you just stumbled on your best answer to the “What are you thinking?” question.
Likewise, a friend of mine, prior to becoming a father, would say to his wife, when something went wrong: “It wasn’t me, so it had to be YOU!”.
That made me laugh so hard I almost peed myself.
For us, if I’m sick, it’s “Are you ok? Are you ok? Are you ok? No really, how are you feeling now???” Ordinarily that wouldn’t bother me, but it usually happens when I’m about to vomit. Not a good time to ask me questions.
Also, “How do you [insert any cooking-related task where instructions are located on the package]?”
And, “How do I light a fire under our children? How do I give them ambition?” The reason this irritates me is that it usually precedes one of my husband’s many mini-life crisis rants about how he wants them to succeed, doesn’t see them applying themselves hard enough and complaining about how they always want to play instead of read, get involved in engineering projects or play chess. They’re 9 and 5. No matter how many times I say, “Well, they are 9 and 5,” I always get, “Are we still going to be saying that when they’re 20? Well???”
I’m sure there are countless things about me that annoy the crap out of him, too, though. One of the many things I’ve found that makes our marriage successful is that we listen to each other even when we really don’t feel like it.
Ex-wife to me: When are you going to come home?
Phone bill: 60+ calls from her number, average time 30 seconds.
Me to Ex-Wife: Do you realize you’re a bad person?
Girlfriend to me: Did you screw <that girl>? X6
Me: To save time, I’m going to give you the same answer six times in a row: No, no, no, no, no, no.
But no really, DID you?:dubious:
Do you want to see what else is on? This question is always asked in the middle of me watching a show he doesn’t want to watch.
I’m happily divorced now, but her’s was “I love you”
Always said in the tone of a question - implying ‘don’t you love me?’