loupdebois reminded me of a few relatives who really ought to be on the business end of a ball of barbed wire in prison. But the thing is that their kids just deny everything so it’d be essentially impossible to get the bastards in jail.
The worst two have been dead since 1969 and 1995 respectively, but there are still at least three alive who really shouldn’t be living such good, fulfilled lives.
Dynfunctional family, you ask?
With the exception of any emergency equipment STOP EVERY SINGLE PIECE OF MACHINERY IN THE WORLD! Imagine how beautifully quiet it would be. Ahhhhh! 
How 'bout this one? Order a massive federal prison inmate swap, so that every white-collar prisoner in for gutting pension funds, securities fraud, corporate tax evasion, wire fraud, mail fraud, identity theft, etc. gets his/her own gang-banger, hardcore violent felon from a “pound-me-in-the-ass” prison… positive for HIV optional.
Financial crime rates would plummet, and we’d all be better off.