Hopefully, this isn’t a Pit-worthy thread.
If you were to perpetuate one evil act, what is the most evil thing you can think of to do? Assume you can time travel, if necessary.
I’d write the Bible or another holy book. I can’t think of anything more evil than that.
I would travel back to 1983 and start a music channel before MTV. I think I could ruin civilization even better then MTV has.
stomp on kittens.
oh, wait! i already do that!
I scream, you scream, we all denounce Jesus for Ice Cream!
Along the lines of what gatopescado said, there’s a guy in Austin right now skinning cats. That’s pretty fucking evil in my book.
Well this isn’t the most evil thing, but this is the most evil thing that I think about doing. I have always been a bit paranoid about someone hurting or killing someone who I cared about, I have dreams about it etc.
I think, with some regularity, about what I would do to that person, and this is what I have come up with, sorry if it doesn’t seem evil, it is the best I could do.
Kidnap the person who committed whatever act I am punishing them for.
Take them to a remote cabin with enough food/suppliesto last us abut 6 months - 1 year.
(all of the following with no pain killers and only enough medical attention to keep them alive)
Pull off their fingernails.
Pull out their teeth.
Cut off their fingers and toes one knuckle at a time.
Cut off their nose.
Cut off their hands and feet.
Cut off/out their gentalia.
Break every rib, one at a time.
Cut out their tongue.
Cut off their arms and legs at elbow and knee.
Cut off their arms and legs at shoulder and hip.
Scalp them.
Crush their hips.
Cut off their ears.
Cut out their eyes.
Pull off their lower jaw.
Set them on fire.
Paralize them from the neck down.
Drop them off at a haspital so they will be kept alive, in their pain racked living prison for the rest of their lives.
I have also thought about doing something like this to someone the person I am trying to get my revenge against cares for, but I can never justify it in my head…
Here’s my list, in case I ever decide to become a super-villain:
Release a truckload of 2x4’s into the path of a tornado.
Implant cell phones into movie theatre seats and call them during the dramatic moments of the movie.
Call random people and try to get them to sell me something. (Inverse telemarketing - they’ll never expect it!)
Burn the symbol of Zeus on someone’s lawn.
Slowly replace every book in the public library with a copy of “Who Moved My Cheese?”
Secretly switch regular coffee with decaf.
I can’t quite bring myself to do this, but I am always horribly tempted because it is eveil, evil, evil.
Aftre I unleod my groceries, I want to just leave my cart there and drive away.
There. I said it.
SteveSteve, you sound like a nut-job! You have that WAY too planned out.
I hope I never get on your bad side.
…now i probably am…
:eek:
He gives you freaking time travel to play with and all you can come up with is this? Bah.
You want to know the most evil thing I can do with time travel?
Ok then. But be warned, I have a very warped imagination.
Buy an automatic gun, lots of Ammo. Flashbang grenades, various flashy weaponry. Get out my anarchists cookbook, find a way to cook up some extremely addicting drug that can be made relatively easily in primitive conditions. Go back in time a couple thousand years. Find some nice tropical island with a relatively peaceful tribe on it. Kill a couple of them. Establish my dominance over them as a wrathful god. Select the more intelligent of them, those with a particularily nasty streak, make them my priesthood. Give them the recipe for the narcotic with which they are to addict the rest of the people and thus keep control.
Then establish rigid hierarchies, ending in me. Obey those more important than you or die. Strict code of laws, in particular selective breeding. Gladiator battles in particular, as well as selecting for intelligence. Skip forward every 20 years to personally oversee selections for each generation.
After I’ve reached 100 generations or so, take the best selection of the breeding population back in time a couple thousand years. I figure after 1000 generations or so I’ll have the meanest, most dangerous fighting force you can imagine.
Over this time I will of course have been building up their technology so that they’re well past 20th century level. Then deposit them on the mainland around 1000 BC. Establish a technological civilisation, conquer the world over a slow period of time (I can time travel, so I can just jump forward in time until it’s complete), making sure to absolutely crush all opposition to my rule in a conquered area. I don’t care if it takes a hundred generations to do so, I have the time after all. If neccesary send the entire population back in time a couple times again. Each time I loop my army will get more ferocious, better equipped and larger. Given time the entire world will be crushed in an iron fist, living or dying upon my very whim. Then I will look upon them and laugh.
Yes, I did just think that up right now. Scared yet? 
Wow, ** kitarak**, the idea of traveling way back in time with incredibly advanced technology and using it to take over the world actually has occurred to me before, but never on such a grandiose scale. Bravo!
Just for pure “let’s see what this does!” fun, I would go back in time and somehow prevent either the birth of public ministry of Christ. I’d like to see the effects.
[Groundskeeper Willy]
I’ll kill the whole lot o’ ya and burn yer town to cinders!
[/GW]
**He gives you freaking time travel to play with and all you can come up with is this? Bah. **
He! He?! All right. I’m handing you over to Manda JO. She’s going to go grocery shopping and make you watch while she leaves the cart in the parking lot.
You’d have to go back to 1981, actually.
Sheri
At last, the thread of my hopes and dreams.
Lets see…As for the most evil thing I could do TODAY, I could probably torture to death someone who had hurt someone I cared about. Probably even assassinate them in a courtroom if I felt they weren’t being punished enough. (By the way, SteveSteve, I have just one thing to say to you…If you’re torturing someone, try screwing around with their Cochlea’s and Inner Ear as well. Maybe you could leave them with perpetual tinnitus and nausea as well.)
If I were something like the unquestioned lord and evil master of the Earth, I think I would…
Arrange to have all the disputed holy sites, of ALL religions (I’m an equal-opportunity evil overlord), carefully dismantled, brick by brick, and reassembled, brick by brick…at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. Just out of pure spite. Fight over 'em NOW.
Start using Vlad the Impaler’s methods of criminal justice and punishment. Over the course of 48 hours, starting with murderers and sex offenders, and moving to the other felons from there.
Use nuclear weapons to carve state and provincial borders into the Earth, so they can be clearly visible from orbit. I’ll dump the contaminated soil on my least favorite continent, spelling out my name.
As for what I could do with TIME TRAVEL, well…
Go back in time, Agent-Orange Teutoberg Forest, give gunpowder technology and the beginnings of electrical technology to the Romans.
Go back in time (Bringing necessary tech. to back this up) to the Aztec Empire, a couple of years before Cortez lands. Use a jet-pack to fly about the capital city for a little while, then land on the top of the main temple. Tell the Aztecs that I’m an emissary of the sun god, sent to help his people, and that a false emissary bringing death and blasphemy was soon to arrive from across the seas. Proceed to give the Aztecs vaccines for assorted European diseases, and enough weapons and industrial technology to bring them up to a late 18th century technological level. Then sit back and watch the fun begin.
Go FORWARD in time, steal a huge, two-legged battle 'Mech, and use it to periodically show up through periods of Earth’s history and let loose my inner juggernaut. Then spend a relaxing weekend at the library, looking through the altered history and theology books, and laugh my head off.
Anyone want to be my friend? 
Ranchoth
As in hypothetical, as in don’t have to actually go /through/ with it?
Heh.
hehe.
Well alt.tasteless has come up with some pretty darn good ideas over time, that one about raping the underaged girl with cerebral palsy to death was rather. . . . awful.
Not really my style though.
Hmm.
Ooh ooh I got it I got it!
Stop the universe from being created!
WOOHOO!!
Beat that!
Wait, no no no To easy. Universe not around, no suffering, arg. not really all that evil.
Hmm.
Give the Japanese the secrete of the A-Bomb during WW2? Hmm, interesting but. . . . nah.
We talking about scale here or just plain how evil it is?
Ok I got one.
I would go back in time, kidnap the newborn baby that would to become Mother Teresa, and then go forward in time in the dimension that Mother Teresa exists within (AKA the current time stream) and broadcast herSquicking on live world wide TV forced down the face of every human life.
That qualify as evil?
SNenc: Taking over the world is secondary. The point is that it warps the human race into the aspect I choose for them, forcing them to live their lives in an eternal cycle of paranoia and suffereing. If that’s not evil, I don’t know what is. 
If you want a less ‘take over the world’ style, merely go back in time and do the whole war-god trick to everyone I can find. In particular tell them that it is their solemn duty to conquer all other people under my name and force them into slavery. That too would provide lots of evil fun. I could then watch it unfold and go back in time and tweak various things to achieve maximum carnage.
throatshot: Oops. Sorry. To be fair you do have a gender neutral name.
You are one Evile SOB, dude.
OK, this is OT as I couldn’t do it: it’s recalled from the writings of the Marquis de Sade, so don’t blame me.
It’s really really unpleasant.
Wearing a hood, kidnap a young boy. Take him back to your castle and hang him, alive, on a meathook. Make an incision in the boy’s stomach, and rape him through it. Leave the room. Take off your hood and go back into the room, saying “don’t worry, I’m here to rescue you”. Take the boy down from the meathook, then laugh in his face, and hang him back up there to die.
Wow, that Marquis was one sick MF.
Yeah, he was a bit of a sadist.