Personal Evil: Even though I helped him get an apartment, car repairs, groceries, etc., my ex-boyfriend has spread vile rumors about me among his friends (my ex-friends) and I have received some laughably stupid death threats because of them. He works the graveyard shift at a convenience store. Picture me driving up, buying a Pepsi, and leaving- all with no speaking to him- at the same time every night for a few nights. Then don’t come in one night and watch him from across the street as he freaks out, wondering what I will do to him next. That, or have him kidnapped by white slavers.
Public Evil: Instead of singing the Star Spangled Banner at the Superbowl, switch the sound system over to some really offensive song.
May I suggest The Soviet National Anthem, for a conservative area, or The Horst Wessel Song for a liberal area? >;)
Ranchoth
Go back in time and don’t kill Hitler?
Get sushi.
And not pay.
I could bring an unwanted child into the world and then rear it half-assedly.
Or, while you’re with him, be his military strategist, and tell him what’s smart, and what’s not smart to do. Oh, you’d have to go to the future and get some good armour so he doesn’t kill you right off for being so pretentious.
I would make everyone watch the love scenes from Mitchell.
I would make everyone eat spam with extra salt poured on.
I would send glurge to every e-mail box.
I would spike the water supply with that stuff that turns your pee electric blue.
I would make Rush Limbaugh do a lap dance for Trent Lott on national tv wearing only a pair of smiley face boxers.
Go back in time to the Oldavai Gorge in Africa.
Then go ape hunting.
All stories end…
:eek: Wow. That takes the cake. By far.
“My, my, my, my Mitchell…” Oh, the horror…
OTOH, I think this is incredibly cool. 
ARRRRRGHHHHH!!!
Run for your lives!
We just had a buffet style sushi bar open up $12 for lunch $20 for dinner.
Compared to what I spent at my sushi haunt before I might as well not be paying.
fire Cecil, and hire Jack Chick in his place.
I’m a sysadmin…
What was your username again? (click click)
Obviously, drachillix has travelled forward in time to resurrect this dead thread…
You’ve got the time travel down, but you haven’t quite got the knack of ‘evil’ yet. Still, good effort
Scenario the First
First, I’d go forward in time, and collect armor, superior weapons, healing medicines, etc. Then, I’d go back in time, picking up such figures as Hitler, The Marquis De Sade, kitarak, Dick Nixon, Pol Pot, Napoleon, Eric The Red, and a few others (you get the idea), brainwash them, get 'em all on board to my evil plan for world domination. Then…
I’d exploit the whole space-time-continuum-thing by delivering them nano-seconds apart / simultaneously to all the major cities of the world at 12:00:01 AM (GMT) on January 1, 2000 to wreak havoc and do my bidding.
BWA-HA-ha-haaa.
Scenario the Second
I’d go back to the 70’s and make Bill Gates my bitch.
Scenario the Third
I’d meet Moses at the bottom of the Mountain, and secretly replace the Word Of God with the Word of Winston…
- Listen to Winston. He knows what he’s talking about
- Don’t make statues of Winston, he’s self-conscious.
- No sass, No backtalk, and Don’t quote Winston. He hates that.
- Remember: Every day is Winston’s day. Bring him a beer and a sandwich.
- Honor Winston and Winston only.
- Thou shalt not kill unless Winston tells you to.
- Winston Shall have many wives. The rest of you shall not commit adultery. I mean it.
- Everything belongs to Winston. Everything. Keep your grubby paws of my stuff.
- Don’t bear false witness against Winston. If this isn’t clear, please refer to Commandments #1 & #3.
- If Winston catches you eyeballin’ his stuff, you’re in Big Trouble.
Yeesh-- I was just going back in time with my sports alamanac to place a few bets. And buy a few stocks at the right time. [Homer] We will be rich-- as rich as astronauts! [/Homer].
I guess ripping off Vegas and Wall Street is not too evil, but hey I will be stinking rich, so what the hell do I care what you think of me-- I can have my goons beat you silly.
I’d go back to Florida in November 2000 and trick elderly Jewish voters into voting for Pat Buchanan .
I would go back in time to the 1950’s and go to some bigshot investor. Convince him that he is my ancestor, and that in the year 2002 we all drive flying cars and live in domes and eat astronaut food and to please plase PLEASE invest in that so our family will be filthy rich. Then I’ll go back to the present and look up the investor on microfiche
NEUROTIC INVESTOR BLOWS DOUGH ON FLYING CAR AND DOME HOUSE
ok…
the only thing that I can think of right now is this…
I am not a man hater but usually the only times I want to do something evil is when a guy hurts me…
so here is my evil thought…
go to a guys house one night and sleep with him and just as he is about to orgasm punch him in the testicles twice…
ouch!!!:eek: